Why isn't bisexuality considered a " real" orientation?

My older sister is has been a victim of this scrutiny for a while now. My sister is pansexual/bisexual. She really likes women and men, but she just happened to marry a straight man (who is very nice and cool and very accepting of my sister and I). Because of this, she has faced a lot of bad attitude about this. People no longer see her as belonging in the LGBT community anymore, all because she passes as being straight.

Bisexuality is a sexuality. It's a real thing. I have friends who are bisexual. Hell, even i'm a little bisexual, and it's just so bizzare how polarized people get over this "you're either one or the other" bullshit. It's the same thing with gender. You don't have to be "one or the other". There's more options out there. From a young age, most people are taught that everything is black and white. For some people, it takes a lot more effort to unlearn this than others. Some people never unlearn it though, and it sticks with them until their last living moments.

Woops, sorry that ended up kinda like a rant lmao

 

Im bi. Its real. Most people don't suspect it since I act straight.

 

I've never met anyone who was accepting of gays and not bi people.
Anyway, who cares if someone thinks it's not real? There will always be idiots in the world. Fact is, bisexuality is a thing, no mater what people want to believe.
To answer your question, the only reason someone would believe it's not real is if they are stupid.

 

Generally, people think bi women are straight and that bi men are gay. The whole "a woman never counts" comes into the bi community as well, or at least how straight people view them.

Another issue is that there are a lot of hetero women that fake being bi for attention or use lesbians for threesomes but only want to end up with a man. That has contributed to negative bi stereotypes, even though most bi people aren't like this.

 

Pretty much. It's getting old tbh
I'm not exactly out though, so I can't speak from experience

 

Because it ruins their neat little world view. Most people are straight, or identify as such, and gay people are visible, so you have this idea that everyone either falls into one camp or the other. Because there's never been an organized movement for bisexuals, we sort of... fade into the background. Mixed race folk face a similar dilemma, and end up choosing one side over the other.

For men, anyway, their entire identities are built around *not* being women, or woman-like, which, unfortunately, gayness correlates with, at least in the popular imagination. They want to distance themselves as far as possible from "teh gay", and are constantly on the lookout for signs of it in themselves and others. In response, gay men have sort of formed their own tribe against straight men, which sometimes also involves misogyny, homophobia, etc. For men of either sexuality to see that they exist on the same spectrum is unthinkable for many.

There's a certain rigidity that exists for men, and I think it comes from having to be seen as a rock; unshakable. To not be 100% gay or straight would mean being "malleable". Women are afforded this, but at the expense of ultimately serving men (that is the assumption). It doesn't help that many gay men come out as bisexual, first, they're blamed for transmitting HIV and other diseases, or thought of as having no standards at all. It's too "queer" for some people, even in the LGBT community, and somehow brings up conversations involving bestiality and other such topics...

 

What creativemind said is so true! The hetero women faking it for attention pisses me off so much! It makes it so much harder for the real bi women

 

Whoa, gravechild, that’s pretty harsh, but I understand where you are coming from.

Personally, I think main issue here (as with homosexuality) is ignorance. If the general population at large were taught the realities of sexuality (and gender identity) instead of being spoon-fed bare elements of a limited heterosexual reality which is mainly focused on procreation and birth control, a lot of both the inadvertent and overt biphobia (as well as homophobia) would stop.

Sure, there are always going to be people that choose to hate and denigrate others for their differences, but knowledge is a powerful tool in stopping ignorant comments and misunderstandings.

Just my 2cents.

 

I agree with what chip said, I realized I was bi when I was 13 and for atleast a year or two I truly thought that I was in denial about being fully gay and it was a very frustrating time for me. As the years went on I realized that i'm truly attracted to both men and women. It can still be confusing and frustrating for me, mainly being in a relationship with anyone. I still can't figure out how to make it work and i'm 25 years old

 

In my experience it is because some people want to feel special. My gay friend doesn't believe in bisexuality. He believes in being gay or lesbian. He will constantly question, however, our lesbian friend about her attraction to women (why is she). People also accuse bisexuals of "being greedy"; wanting as many lovers as they can get by claiming to be attracted to both sexes. From my personal experience, the attraction is real and organic! @meistro, just take your life day-to-day. When you find someone you want to get to know in an intimate manner, strike up a friendship with them, and ask them how they feel about sexual orientation as a whole, and ask them there preference. That is the safest way I know to find out if others are open to you. I use this method in my daily life.

 

There's also an element of bisexual (or bigender, like myself) as threatening their inner monologue AND the public perception of gays and lesbians, and transgender individuals.

The idea is this: the fear from elements of the homosexual population is that the public and haters may perceive a bisexual person as gay or lesbian simply because they do like a same-sex partner. Therefore a bisexual person must be an example of a homosexual person who can change. Therefore all gays and lesbians must be making a *choice* to remain gay or lesbian. Therefore, all they need to do is "cure" gays and lesbians, and it encourages things like conversion therapy. It also threatens their inner monologue that if you like the same sex, how could you possibly be interested in the opposite sex too? A bisexual person must be faking it to "pass."

For the same reasons some transgender individuals have difficulty accepting that some people have no interest in transitioning, or who are non-binary and have nothing to transition to (neither side is dominant). It drives me nuts that trans people keep telling me I need to transition to male because if I don't I'll suffer later, or that I will inevitably end up transitioning so I should just make it easier on myself. I've been told that my female side is just a social construct to help me deal with living in a CIS world, and I need to give it up to gain mental health and happiness. Otherwise, why am I even here if I have a female side that allows me to pass? Isn't that the same as just being CIS?

 

WOW, Kasia Kaiden! That's a truly interesting insight to me. I still think it all goes back to ignorance and a massive lack of education among the general public about how sexuality and gender identity really work, but I do think you hit on a very probable key insight. The fact of bisexuality, even if many or most monosexuals deny our existence COULD, in fact, provide 'evidence' to people that are convinced that sexuality "either/or" that sexuality is a 'choice' or that a person can be 'changed' from one to the other.

Thanks for that!

 

I've really noticed this! I think it's a lot to do with outdated perceptions of what sex actually is. This obviously disregards trans and asexual people but in my experience people who can't get their head around something as basic as bisexuality tend to be pretty close minded in general.

It definitely doesn't help that it's used as a 'transitional' identity at times, and I think this in itself is a vicious circle. It's easier to come out when bisexuality isn't taken so seriously as being gay/lesbian and yet people doing this is something that stops it from being taken seriously as an identity.

 

bisexuality is really a thing, although i have a girlfriend and some people may call me lesbian, i'm bisexual. i love my girlfriend very much, but you never know what can happen, but i'm 100% sure if smth happened i could have a boyfriend... i sometimes see couples (straight) and think to myself, damn i could choose one, i wanna both... ;D

 

I've also experienced hate towards bisexuals, even in the LGBT community. I mean, the "B" stands for Bisexual, so how can it NOT be a valid orientation?

Many homophobes (and bi-phobes) disregard bisexuality because they don't know enough about how bisexuals think, feel and function in their day-to-day life. I pin it down to sheer ignorance and unwillingness to accept something they don't fully understand. Most people are raised with the idea of someone being either straight, or gay/lesbian, there is no in-between and they also have no idea about the trans* folk out there, not even talking about the non-binaries. Point is, there will always be non-believers and haters out there.

I prefer to date men over women, and am therefore mistaken for straight, much to my own frustration. My parents know I'm bisexual and have accepted it - for the most part. However, my mom wants me to "prove" it. HOW??? If I bring a girl home, they'd think I'm lesbian. If I bring a guy home, they'd think I'm straight. So should I bring BOTH home, so they will believe me??? How the fuck do I prove that I'm bi???

Rant over. :dry:

 

I've noticed some hostility toward bisexuality from within the LGBT community seems to stem from resentment toward bisexuals, since they have the homosexual attraction that monosexual LGBT people have, but they also have heterosexual attraction that they can "fall back on". I've heard it sometimes called having "straight privilege".

It's all ridiculous to me, but this is something I've heard.

 

I just want to say that I support all you bisexual peeps out there ride:

 

Because people are stupid and narrow-minded, being bisexual is as much of an orientation as being gay or straight is.