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Old 5th Jan 2017, 09:42 AM   #1
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Friendship with gay guys and lesbians

I was watching the Youtube channel called the Gaycode, and the two hosts are best friends but are lesbian and gay. I know this is not the norm, but why do you think so, and are there any of you that are friends with either a gay guy or lesbian if you are a lesbian or gay?

Just this past summer, I met a guy who was gay, and we became really good friends. So I'm wondering because not only are we a support system for each other, but we have a lot of fun together.

What are your experiences?
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Old 5th Jan 2017, 10:36 AM   #2
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Re: Friendship with gay guys and lesbians

To answer your question, it's not the norm because females like to befriend other females and males befriend other males. If you befriend someone of your own gender, that's one more thing that you can both relate to. So, generally, girls are more likely to befriend girls and guys will befriend guys. But there quite often exceptions.

Like with me. My best friend is a pansexual guy, and I've known him for years. I love him to death, man, he's great. We are best friends.
I am also friends with a gay guy I met on twitch. I started watching his streams and then we became friends. We friended each other on steam and even text each other sometimes. He's pretty cool.
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Old 5th Jan 2017, 10:52 AM   #3
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Re: Friendship with gay guys and lesbians

I agree with the above poster, though growing up I tended to befriend males as I felt I could relate more to them than the girls who spoke of things I couldn't relate to like boys, fashion, make up and celebrities :P

I have had gay male friends in the past but we grew apart unfortunately, was great while it lasted though - very fun bunch.

I've only ever met a lesbian once (that I knew of) but we had nothing in common apart from our sexuality so we never became friends.

I only have the one friend at the moment, a straight girl, but she unfortunately studies at another university and it seems we will also grow apart.
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Old 5th Jan 2017, 10:55 AM   #4
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Re: Friendship with gay guys and lesbians

Hey WriterArtGirl,

As a Bi guy, I can only comment on what I know. And what I can say is that many of my gay friends have lesbian friends and I know of quite a few close, almost familial relationships between gay couples and lesbian couples.
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Old 5th Jan 2017, 10:59 AM   #5
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Re: Friendship with gay guys and lesbians

I like befriending gay guys because there isn't really the sexual tension and drama I get with straight guy friends. That's not to say I would refuse befriending a straight man, but usually with them I either get a) They fall for me and the friendship cannot continue or b) They view me platonically but get a crazy jealous girlfriend that tears us apart. I blame the whole "men and women can't be friends" saying for this kind of belief. It's nice to have no tension with gay guys.

Also, I don't care enough my sexuality to make it so I only need lesbian friends. I don't really like talking about romance, sex, and what girls I find attractive. I'd rather talk about writing, art, video games, and general hobbies. But I think other gay people are so obsessed with their sexuality that they want other same sex gay friends for that reason.

I befriended a lesbian at one point but she was too obsessed with her sexuality that it got annoying to me. Every topic was about sex with women, hot women, lesbian issues, asking me about my dating life for me (which was awkward because I'm not looking to date now). I'd be just as annoyed if I befriended a straight woman who only talked about men and sex. There are other things to talk about. That's not to say that I won't befriend lesbians or that I think all lesbians do this, It's just that my sexuality isn't so important that I'd think I'd have nothing in common with gay guys.
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Old 5th Jan 2017, 11:04 AM   #6
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Re: Friendship with gay guys and lesbians

I only have female friends (in real life) and we talk about tons of other things... I haven't met other gay guys in my city and I feel OK with that. It's mostly as I don't fit in with the general LGBT community here... but I like being in my bubble with my "girlfriends"
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Old 5th Jan 2017, 08:18 PM   #7
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Re: Friendship with gay guys and lesbians

I get along with lesbians really well. Gay guys ehh I feel like I can't be friends with them (this doesn't include people on this site) without us hating each other or one of us falling for one another.
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Old 5th Jan 2017, 08:31 PM   #8
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Re: Friendship with gay guys and lesbians

I am friends with quite a few gay and bisexual men. I like the lack of sexual tension too, and I think that gay guys in general are a lot more fun than straight guys in general (the ones I tend to befriend tend to be more flamboyant and wild and seem to care less about being 'normal' and 'masculine' than your average straight guy).
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Old 5th Jan 2017, 09:35 PM   #9
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Re: Friendship with gay guys and lesbians

Quote:
Originally Posted by Andrew99 View Post
I get along with lesbians really well. Gay guys ehh I feel like I can't be friends with them (this doesn't include people on this site) without us hating each other or one of us falling for one another.
Yes! I have a few online gay/bi male friends, but besides that, the majority of the people I talk to are girls. If somebody is a decent person and we get along, then sexuality isn't really an issue. I'm not sure how the gay guy and lesbians hating each other stereotype started.
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Old 6th Jan 2017, 07:23 AM   #10
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Re: Friendship with gay guys and lesbians

Went to a small school so the LGBT kids kinda stuck together. I didn't know what trans was at the time so i thought I was just a lesbian. Back then I always found myself falling with the guys of the group more so than the girls. And there was this one lesbian who didn't like me and got all possessive when I was around, made things awkward.

Since starting my transition though people keep assuming I'm a gay guy and girls hang around me now too? I try to talk to both genders, but I think I'm rubbing some guys the wrong way.
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Old 6th Jan 2017, 06:31 PM   #11
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Re: Friendship with gay guys and lesbians

I did know a lesbian and a gay guy who were thick as thieves with each other. They lived together and everything (along with his boyfriend.)

Personally I can't say I know any gay men particularly well, but then again I don't know all that many straight men (outside of my family) well either. I think I'm sort of a girls girl, but I'd like to have more guy friends too.
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Old 6th Jan 2017, 07:00 PM   #12
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Re: Friendship with gay guys and lesbians

I used to be good friends with a gay guy, but our personalities kind of clashed and he moved so know..we're really distanced. I don't know a lot of gay men in real life..or online apart from here and I don't really know anyone here. However, I am currently great friends with a pansexual guy. My three "best" friends are girls, two are lesbians and one's straight.

In general, I usually get along with anyone, but in the past I think it's harder for me to...understand and get along with straight women. I tend to make great friends with other lesbians and straight guys...it's something to do with my sense of humor and theirs as well.
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Old 6th Jan 2017, 08:53 PM   #13
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Re: Friendship with gay guys and lesbians

There is one queer guy at my school and he's new but quickly becoming one of my best friends. My friend group is about 3:1 biological girls vs guys with two of us being nonbinary so it's mildly mixed in that respect. Not sure where the gay and lesbian hating each other thing came from but it is definitely not true
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Old 10th Jan 2017, 04:39 PM   #14
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Re: Friendship with gay guys and lesbians

My closest friend at the moment is a Gay guy. Like someone else mentioned, however, I don't chose friends by their sexuality; I base friendships on intellect and personality.
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Old 11th Jan 2017, 02:37 PM   #15
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Re: Friendship with gay guys and lesbians

like 3 of my friends are nonbinary, one's androsexual, one's gynesexual, and one i have no clue

my only female friend is straight so idk
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Old 11th Jan 2017, 03:35 PM   #16
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Re: Friendship with gay guys and lesbians

had a lesbian friend a while back but we lost touch...right now I don't have any lgbt friends but my best friend is friends with lots lol He manages a starbucks and it seems gay guys like to work there because there are a lot of 'em there and he's friends with several...but he's straight lol I guess i'm kinda friends with a couple of em just by association

---------- Post added 11th Jan 2017 at 02:37 PM ----------

4 of 'em live together with a friend of mine who's also straight lol
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Old 11th Jan 2017, 07:02 PM   #17
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Re: Friendship with gay guys and lesbians

One of my best friends is bi, another is lesbian, and our other best friend is SO straight her Kinsey scale is negative infinity. None of us have told her were not straight >_<
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