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Are straight boys allowed to have a gaydar?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Peter, Apr 10, 2009.

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Can a straight boy have a gaydar?

Poll closed May 10, 2009.

  1. It is illegal and immoral for straight people to have a gaydar

    3 vote(s)
    4.1%

  2. It's OK, let's be tolerant of straight people, it's not their fault

    64 vote(s)
    86.5%

  3. He is probably gay and his girlfriend is in for a surprise

    4 vote(s)
    5.4%

  4. What's a gaydar?

    3 vote(s)
    4.1%
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  1. Peter

    Peter
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    My nephew claims that he knew about me. He is straight, even though he is a hairdresser. He says that he sees enough gay people in his job to know the difference so I was wondering whether it was acceptable for straight boys to have a working gaydar? What do you think?
     
    #1 Peter, Apr 10, 2009
  2. riddlerno1

    riddlerno1
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    maybe you should ask him what he is basing this on? what made him 'know' about you?
     
    #2 riddlerno1, Apr 10, 2009
  3. Pepsi

    Pepsi Guest

    Honestly, some people just claimed to have known sometimes when they find even though they had no idea. OR he could have the completely random gift of gaydar. In my experience anyone can be born with the talent of gaydar, their sexuality does not matter.
     
    #3 Pepsi, Apr 10, 2009
  4. Rosina

    Rosina
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    I think everyone has a Gayder, just some are finer tuned than others. Mine for example is pretty bad, but I still have one XD
     
    #4 Rosina, Apr 10, 2009
  5. CometCat

    CometCat
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    Yeah I agree, I think everyone has a gaydar. My brother is straight yet he has a pretty good gaydar, probably better than mine!
     
    #5 CometCat, Apr 10, 2009
  6. Martin

    Martin
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    I don't believe gaydars even exist, imo. It's nothing more than stereotypical observation that people have, and I am pretty sure those who claim to have a gaydar will walk past hundreds of gay people and won't spot them simply because they won't be expressing their sexuality in a way that is often associated with that orientation (such as flamboyancy in guys or women with really short hair). It's also a flawed logic as those who claim to spot a gay person just take up the assumption that they are right and don't usually get to find out whether they are.

    I would say he is able to spot stereotypical gay people because they have the characteristics that are associated with that sexuality. I wouldn't necessarily call it a gaydar though, it's just observing stereotypes. Perhaps finding out what gave you away would be better than interrogating him about his 'gaydar'.
     
    #6 Martin, Apr 10, 2009
  7. TripleM

    TripleM Guest

    I think straight people totally can have it. It might not be as fine tuned but it is possible. Or maybe if they are straight they have a little bit of gay in them, like on the Kinsey Scale.
    I know one of my really good friends who happens to be a girl has awesome gaydar, and it always suprises me how right she is.
     
    #7 TripleM, Apr 10, 2009
  8. Kenko

    Kenko
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    "Gaydar" can consist of many things. It can as Martin suggests, just be picking up on Stereotypical "gay" actions and behaviors. However, sometimes there's more subtle hints that people can pick up. Whether or not your nephew is picking up stereotypical hints or more subtle ones I don't know. However if he spends a lot of time around gay people I wouldn't completely rule out being able to pick up more subtle cues.

    This is all of course assuming Gaydar is a crap shoot to begin with.
     
    #8 Kenko, Apr 10, 2009
  9. Alex19

    Alex19
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    o yea- without a doubt. straight men can sence when another man is gay. ive read countless stories when this happens. you dont have to b gay to have a gaydar, but mine doesnt seem to work for some reason... :frowning2: or at least, not all the time
     
    #9 Alex19, Apr 10, 2009
  10. beckyg

    beckyg Guest

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    I think gaydar is more than "stereotypical observations" about the way some people dress or carry themselves. Its also about body language and how those people react with members of their own sex or the opposite sex.
     
    #10 beckyg, Apr 10, 2009
  11. Martin

    Martin
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    Isn't the interpretation of body language subjective though? The behaviour that you would look to find in a gay person would be the behaviour that society says you will act like as a gay person. So many people, both on here and in the gay community, will use the term "straight-acting" to describe themselves because they are rejecting the way society says they will act, and when it comes to a gaydar it would be very difficult to detect those people because they will actively behave in a way that society will not associate with homosexuality.

    I think to say body language can give a good indicator of it is fairy accurate, but even then I wouldn't say that's the gift of a gaydar. We all observe body language on a daily basis and will experience those who go against a social norm, but to say that a certain behaviour is the result of a members orientation would, imo, just reinforce the view that gay people act a certain way in society. We know they're not all flamboyant and pink so we aren't going to always get vibes from their body language either. That to me shows how the concept of a gaydar fails. How we use a gaydar is based entirely on our experiences in life, and too include body language moves away from the ability to spot a gay person and just shows you are good at reading body language. Psychiatrists aim to do things like that all the time, but I wouldn't say they have a gaydar either. It's just something people can consciously do, and even then it's open to interpretation and could so easily be wrong. With a gaydar you could easily say somebody is gay because of x reason and then have no way of ever knowing. You can't really go anywhere with that and it does nothing to either prove or disprove a persons ability at detecting other gay people.
     
    #11 Martin, Apr 10, 2009
  12. Derek the Wolf

    Derek the Wolf
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    Lmao
    Let me put it this way. My best friend has an amazing gaydar. He told me I was bi before I came out to him. And guess what? He's asexual. The ability to pick up on a person's sexual orientation by the way they talk or act isn't related to the person's own orientation. It's based on their ability to pick up on subtle differences in a person's mannerisms and such. Some people can pick up on these very well and can guess correctly on a person's orientation. I think the reason he can do it so well is he isn't clouded by an emotional stake in their orientation: gay, straight, trans, he doesn't care. I've started looking at it more objectively too and my gaydar isn't as horribly broken as it used to be.
    Bottom line, if straight guys can look at orientation objectively then yes, they can have excellent gaydar. =3
     
    #12 Derek the Wolf, Apr 10, 2009
  13. Jeimuzu

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    I think gaydar works because it's an ability to spot finer aspects of being gay that straight people rarely notice. As a hairdresser, I get the feeling your nephew is the type of person who hangs out with both crowds and can spot the difference. There's a few subtle signs.
     
    #13 Jeimuzu, Apr 10, 2009
  14. Markio

    Markio
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    My gaydar is awesome! I saw these two guys one time, and they were sleeping together, and I'm pretty sure I was the only one who could tell they were gay. Of course, I was the only one in the bushes outside their window, but still...

    Seriously though, even if I could (or do) spot gay people, it's still not the same letting them confirm it. I feel like spotting out gay people robs them of the chance to define themselves. I don't want people thinking they know me, I'd rather tell them myself.
     
    #14 Markio, Apr 10, 2009
  15. Lexington

    Lexington
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    Someone straight asked me once, "What IS this gaydar thing?"

    Me: Is Ricky Martin gay?
    Him: Obviously.
    Me: How do you know?
    Him: Because! Look at him!
    Me: That's gaydar.
    Him: ....OOOOOhhhh...

    Lex
     
    #15 Lexington, Apr 10, 2009
  16. Greggers

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    Straight people definitely have gaydar.

    I seem to show up on straight people gaydar only though. Ive had quite alot of RANDOM strangers out me recently. Its always awkward though and it does not get any less awkward as it keeps happening :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    I think straight people should be built with very minimal gaydar and gay people would be built with very strong gaydar. Then we can seek eachother out properly. :slight_smile:
     
    #16 Greggers, Apr 10, 2009
  17. Alex19

    Alex19
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    i agree. i need a new one- i think mine is malfunctioning...
     
    #17 Alex19, Apr 10, 2009
  18. edogs334

    edogs334
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    Much agreed!!
     
    #18 edogs334, Apr 10, 2009
  19. Mickey

    Mickey
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    :roflmao: I agree it's more obvious with the stereotypical gay person. I mean,I'm a lesbian and my gay dar sucks. :eusa_doh:
     
    #19 Mickey, Apr 10, 2009
  20. stratavos

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    let's blame the emo trend! all the sceners made it tougher to properly place people on sight alone! :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
    #20 stratavos, Apr 10, 2009
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