So as we all know, well in my life at least, homophobia is still around. And it's getting worse. The thing is, I don't think that it's the fact that a man loves another man. I think it's because of the way some of us act. Seeing disgusting people like Jedward on Big Brother really pisses me off, because it's making my family hate gay people even more. They're already homophobic enough but having all these pretentious, arrogant, attention-seeking twats on TV is really aggravating them. You can be feminine, flamboyant, whatever. But shoving it in people's faces, making yourself heard everywhere you go is just disgusting. Every time I sit there watching BB with my family I have to sit through "fucking faggots", "why are gay people so fuckin arrogant" etc. it just gets me even more mad. I think people like Jedward, Spence, Perez Hilton etc should just be labelled differently because they're bringing shame and hatred to the community. Hell, I even hate gay pride day and all this equality rally shit because it's just making things worse. It's making us more different, and that's why I will never come out to my family. It's why I hate being gay and desperately wish I was straight.
I agree that people almost forcing their sexuality on people is a problem, I wouldn't go as far to ostracise them from a community for it though. Something that really irritated me was that there were some people on the recent Women's March holding signs saying "make America queer again". Take this scenario and flip it, imagine someone holding a sign saying "make America straight again". Fundamentally it's the same message, you are imposing you sexuality on others, and it's wrong.
I hate it when gays think they can say shit like that, as if we're more important and need more care and benefits than others. Just cause we like dick don't mean we're special. Another reason why I hate pride days...
In my opinion, it seems you are a bit confused, like i was in the past. I'm not saying all gay people represent the community in a good way. We are humans, like straight people. When it comes to activism, there are those who know how to fight, and those who don't. There is also those who don't want to fight, and they should be free to live without worrying about activism if they don't want to - after all, we are fighting for the right to be free to love who we love without worrying, right? In my opinion, this is an excuse for homophobia. Like i said, we are like straight people: There are nice gay/straight people, there are arrogant gay/straight people, etc. But, if someone points to a gay man and say: "See? This is why i hate gay people: They are all arrogant!", the person is simply lying (intentionally or not). What do you consider "shoving it in people's faces"? As you said yourself, peopel can be feminine and flamboyant. They are free to be that way, as it should be. Everyone is different, and everyone needs to be respected. If someone is bothered by another someone acting a certain way that isn't hurting anybody, then the problem is in the first person, not the second. The "shoving it in people's faces" idea is commonly used by homophobics to justify their prejudice. "Oh, but i don't have any problem with it, if they do their gay things behind four walls". Well, if you hadn't any problem with it, you wouldn't be worrying about someone else's life, as they aren't hurting anybody by being that way. The problem is in the people trying to control how other people act, not in the effeminate people. I'm sorry, but the problem here doesn't seem to be the persons you mentioned. I'm not from England, so i can't say much about the people you mentioned. But your parents are the one generalizing, as if gay people acted all in a certain way, which isn't true. They need to understand that we are all different, like straight people are all different from each other too. In my opinion, and, with all due respect, but it seems that you are trying to justify your parents homophobia, by trying to find finding reason in their comments. In my opinion, nothing justifies phrases like "fucking faggots". We are all different. And people who generalize by saying "all gays like parties", "all gays are effeminate", "all gays are X" are just wrong. And the LGBT community isn't to blame for that. Homophobia is the problem. Homophobics are spreading false information about the LGBT community. And, even if this was true, and so what if we were all effeminate? As long as someone isn't hurting other people, that person should be free to act naturally. If they are effeminate, so be it. Also, pride is an example of how homophobia works. Gay people are happy, partying, showing the world we exist. And homophobics are hating it. "Because gay people only like sex" (media only shows that part of the pride, huh?), "gay people are X", etc. Remember: We aren't proud just because we like other men/women. We are proud because we are openly ourselves in a world that hates us. We aren't fighting for more rights than straight people. We are fighting for more rights because we want the same amount of rights than straight people. We want the right to love who we love without being killed because of this. We want to act the way we want (in an effeminate way, for example) without people yelling "fucking faggots". We want to be ourselves without people spitting on us because of it. We want to be free to love and to be love without being judged, just like straight people. Again, i'm not saying all gay activists are right. I disagree with a lot of them about many things, and we shouldn't defend them just because they are apparently on our side. But, judging by what you are saying, that isn't the problem. You said things like "effeminate people forcing their sexuality down our throats", which isn't a clear argument, because that is judging people for the way they act. It seems you are dealing with some internal homophobia yourself. And i understand that having homophobic parents isn't something easy to deal with. But be careful with generalizations, and be careful to not hate other people because you don't like the way they act. Am i correct to assume you want to come out, by what you said? If yes, then maybe it is time to think: Is homophobia the problem (because people hate others because who they love or the way they act), or is the effeminate gay, who isn't hurting anyone and just being himself the problem? If you are starting to feel hate for other people, take a deep breath and relax. Hate isn't a good way to solve things.
Well, FWIW, I'd heard that the natural human response towards just about anything unfamiliar is hostility in some form. So maybe it really isn't anything personal. Some aren't really all that worked up about the actual idea of same sex relations. They just don't like people that are different from themselves. And it's not like having a different favorite color; having a different favorite sex/gender than your peers is a huge deal for a lot of people. I'd like to think most actual hatred is just ignorance. So don't take any of that too personally. And yeah, all the gay stereotyping is really showing on ignorance. It's sad to think the masses can't figure out that gay people are actually not very different from others without it being pointed out to them.
I had a feeling that there are some people who feel this way. All i can say is try to do whatever makes you happy.
I think there are a lot of gay people who reflect poorly on the community. The example of gay pride is something I've thought about. It's often oversexualized and I feel this turns people off. While I don't necessarily believe being more "free" with your sexuality is bad, and I personally believe people are free to do what they want in a certain context of appropriateness, I wonder if it is damaging or helpful.
In my opinion and from personal experience...I tend to believe that homophobia will be around for some time to come. Although there have been progress over recent years. However, there are still those individuals out there who believes that all homosexuals will not go to heaven when they die. Instead, they will burn in hell. That's what I have always been told by a lot of relatives when I came out as a gay man which resulted with me enduring many years of abandonment from my family members. In fact, after all of this time...I still endure backlash from family because of my sexuality. Nonetheless...it doesn't effect me the way it did initially. I have obtained really thick skin and become so independent that their backlash is something that I can just shake off and pay no attention to. With that being said...the direction that society is taking now...to me..it just seems that instead of moving forward...things are moving backwards. The homophobia stigma is something I feel will not disappear for some time to come.
Just to add to my response...I just found this article that justifies what I was saying in regards to this topic. https://www.queerty.com/customer-writes-antigay-slur-receipt-instead-tipping-20170128
If "excessive gays" are to blame for homophobia, then so are "bad eggs" in every group. I'd be less racist if black people weren't so annoying. I'd be less Islamophobic if Muslims weren't so violent. I'd be less Christophobic if Christians weren't so closed-minded and bigoted. And I'd be less heterophobic if straight men weren't so obsessed with machismo. You can see where this is going. There is also a burden of effort on the part of the person making the "I'd be less X if more Y" judgment to venture outside of what they are spoon-fed on TV. There is a burden of effort on people to realize that individuals don't represent the group, that groups are larger than specific examples, and that judgments of the many can't be made based on the actions of the few.
Yeah, it is, it will be a while before homophobia is gone. I am lucky enough to be in a very accepting area. But I notice that places like this are rare.
