The Q Word?

I find the word awkward to use, it sounds pretty vulgar to say out loud. I did find it incredibly helpful when I was confused about whether I was gay or bi. Calling myself bi or open minded felt terrible. Same with calling myself questioning. Queer was the most comfortable label for me. It never felt right saying it out loud. I generally used it on forums, but not too much in real life. I'm now happy to just call myself gay.

 

I don't like the word either. It's annoying that now people are calling us the "queer community" and at protests they're saying "Queer lives matter" because I hate that word and want nothing to do with it. I'll never identify as queer.

 

I use the word queer as a label and an umbrella term. It's just annoying to keep saying "the LGBTQ*-community", "as a LGBTQ*-person", etc. However, nobody ever used it as a slur around me, probably because I'm from Germany and we have different words here. I don't like the word "faggot", for example, because the German equivalent is used as a slur here. There's also the word "Kampflesbe" (literal translation: "fighting lesbian"), which is a demeaning term used for a "masculine" lesbian here and I dislike it as well. I do find it nice when LGBTQ* people call themselves these words in a mocking and reclaiming way though.

If someone like you told me that queer was a trigger word for them, I would do my best to avoid using it around them (slip ups happen). I understand how that word could be uncomfortable for some people. I just hate that we don't really have any other umbrella term.

 

1) Does anyone who has also had this word used viciously around them personally use it to describe themselves? if so how did you stop associating it with the hate you faced?
Queer - I don't mind, but never had it used derogatory around me
Faggot - I hate for the reasons you posted. Growing up it was the term everyone used to call someone they didn't like or thought were gay.
Gay - I love but probably because I am old and it also means happy and I am finally happy to say I am Gay.

2) Does anyone feel the same way I do?
about faggot yes.

3) If you use this word to describe yourself, do you/would you respect others when they asked you to not use it around them as it brings back bad memories? similar to a trigger word?
I would never use any word around someone who told me it bothered them.

4) Has anyone ever not experienced this word in a hateful way?
queer and gay I have not experienced its use in a hateful way.

5) Is there anyone who doesn't like the word who hasn't experienced it in a hateful way?
queer even though I don't mind it, I still associate the dictionary term of 'odd' with it and I don't think we are odd.

 

I getcha, queer where I live isn't a nice word to say, it's kinda implied with disgust. Just relating back to my family, someone spreaded a rumor that my uncle called me queer and that threw everyone in flames. Mother was mad and wanted answers and so was my grandma but it turns out it wasn't true, just a trouble making "family member". Anyhow, the word isn't supposed to be nice, well at least down here.

 

I'm still not quite sure what the word queer even means. I'm not sure I'd want my identity labeled as something that has been used to mean "peculiar, weird" even before becoming a vulgar insult.

 

1) Does anyone who has also had this word used viciously around them personally use it to describe themselves? if so how did you stop associating it with the hate you faced?
I used it briefly when I was unsure of my sexuality since I couldn't find a term to describe how I felt exactly. Although, to be honest, it always felt awkward to use for me. I didn't really like it but I couldn't find a better term.

2) Does anyone feel the same way I do?
I'd only ever heard it used as a slur or as another word for strange before I started hanging around LGBT forums so yeah, it still holds a somewhat negative meaning to me. Plus, it just sounds old-fashioned and weird. I don't mind if other people want to reclaim queer, faggot or dyke.

3) If you use this word to describe yourself, do you/would you respect others when they asked you to not use it around them as it brings back bad memories? similar to a trigger word?
I did and I would if I still used it.

4) Has anyone ever not experienced this word in a hateful way?
I haven't been called queer directly but it was a word I heard a lot growing up, I haven't been called a dyke before. Have been called a faggot before and it's surprising the one I'm most comfortable with.

5) Is there anyone who doesn't like the word who hasn't experienced it in a hateful way? There would be but I'm not one of those people