So I meet this girl around last year January online. She had a girlfriend at a time, and she should tell me about her time to time. Around a month or two later she started telling me how it wasn't going so well, and I remember distinctly I was sitting in my car eating McDonald's when she messaged me saying they had broke up and she was so distraught. I think they got back again for a bit but it didn't work out, they were doing long distance and had dates for a while (like 2 years). I tried my best to comfort her but I knew I was shit. We carried on talking for a while and I think around the 3 month mark she asked me out. So we fell into a long distance relationship, I really liked her, and it was the first time I had properly like someone. However we both had a shit tone of mental health baggage, and it started getting really bad. She would call me crying or while having a panic attack and I had no one how to react or help. It got really fucking hard, and I eventually asked her if she was happy and it was clear she wasn't and we broke up. When we broke up it was right before my GCSEs and I was shitting major bricks, so I deleted Kik and focuses on my exams. While I knew it was for the best, we went from talking everyday to occasionally and our conversations were shit. The more I type the more I realise how fucked up our relationship was, but I'm not going to get into it. Exams passed and I remember I was drunk off my face and sitting in my friends alleyway when something dawned on me, I was a rebound. I think I drunkly messaged her some crap. Getting to my point. I don't know if I miss her or what we had. I always felt she could do better than me, and I was pretty shit to be honest. But I haven't really spoken to anyone about it, I just keep it bottled up and I just wanted to get it out there. I think about her a lot but I don't know why, or how to stop it. She has so much potential, I hope she's well.
