It's no secret that my family is very homophobic, but even with that in mind, it tears me apart to hear homophobic comments or downright hatred/disgust at the LGBT community. My cousin, who is a lesbian herself's best friend (lesbian) got married on Saturday and though I wasn't invited, I saw pictures of the wedding and they looked stunning. But of course my mom especially couldn't just accept that it's two people who love each other very much and want to spend their lives together. She had to emphasize that it's two women, and how "sick and wrong" it is, and "how it goes against everything she believes in". Of course I was present when she said this and it felt like she drove a knife through my heart and twisted it for good measure. Then the conversation took on a different turn: Pride parades! My brother in law's sister was there too and she also had a mouthful of bashing comments to add. They talked about how if the gay community says it's so normal, why do they have to have a special parade just for them, and how they shove it down other people's throats by parading through the streets in their extravagant (and some of them almost nude) outfits and how the whole idea of Pride proves that it's not as normal as LGBTs want it to seem because we don't see straights having parades. I tried my best to defend the community. I said but if you look at numbers, then the amount of straight people far surpass the amount of LGBT people, so we need these parades to get like-minded people together and make our voices heard. Of course it fell on deaf (or rather, ignorant) ears and I ended up just keeping my comments to myself because I didn't want it to get heated, but every fucking comment they made against the community, hurt so bad. I suppose I could've gotten up and left but then it'd just give them more ammunition because "gays can't take the heat". I fucking hate them for their homophobic views. Why can't they just accept that not everyone fits their fucking magical little white picket fence romantic scene with a man and woman and kids????? My sister even went as far as saying (and my BIL not far behind) that the Bible clearly states that God created humans, a man and woman, to populate the earth. Ok, fine, but why do these men and women who are supposed to populate the earth, have abortions and give up their children for adoption? What's the point then? But nooo, they don't see it that way, they are blinded by their own fucking closed-mindedness and hatred, and don't take into account that someone close to them (i.e. me) is a part of the LGBT community. Instead, they keep bashing the community and everything we stand for because they are blind to differences. They are quick to say that they're not racist, but A, B, C. But they can't get past their ignorant views and accept the community because we're all human at the end of the day. Sorry, I just needed to get it off my chest :tantrum: :bang: :tears:
It's sad when a family member hates you for being yourself for me my Dad hates me because he says that being in the LGBT spectrum is a sin and everyone who sins goes to hell and he also never let me and my older brother go to any of the parades (my older brother is gay with a really great BF) except he took it one step further and he tried to disown my older brother but luckily my mum and her extended family (and some of my dad's extended family) supported him.
I tend to believe that people who think like that are simply control freaks, self righteous and want to impose their views on everyone, which is ironic given their claim that that's what the lgbtq community is doing. I'm not religious myself, but I have family (grandparents) who are that share those close-minded views. It is very tense and uncomfortable listening to their intolerance, so I understand how you feel. When I'm around my grandparents I resist the urge to pipe in because I know it will only lead to conflict and nothing can change their views. Some people are just stuck in the past. They get rigid in their ways and want to judge others. I think someone who was really following the teachings of Christ would understand that tolerance is key. The irony is, if I'm wrong and heaven is real, I'm quite sure these so-called 'devout' Christians will not have a ticket to the pearly gates. You can spend your life being sheltered and hateful and refusing to acknowledge differences... or you can accept them. Personally, I wish people would just respect each other's privacy and not meddle in others' affairs. It is nobody's business but their own what sexuality they affiliate with. And gay people are not hurting anyone. The right-wing lunatics' fears are based in fiction, not fact. But they are so set in their ways that they will never change. I agree on your points about pride parades. I think they are meant to be a celebration of love and acceptance... And a place for the community to get together unashamedly. There is no reason to be ashamed of being gay, bi or trans. I think being open and true to oneself is cause for celebration. And I personally am proud of those who are. There is too much judgment and hate in this world. If straight cis-gendered people cannot accept others' views, the problem is theirs. But it is very unfortunate because it corrodes the lives of those are simply trying to be themselves. We have the freedom to do that as people. Nobody should sit in judgment of another person who is doing nothing but living their life their way. It's not hurting anyone, contrary to sadly popular belief. I'm truly sorry your relatives are so bigoted, and I can relate... I wish there was something that could be done. Maybe this little tidbit will help keep you positive... My aunt is a lesbian. She was closeted for years, into her adult life. My grandpa is very... old-fashioned and was never one to accept gays. Which is odd given that his wife loves the gay community. Her favorite movie was the Bird Cage for god's sake. My other grandparents are both homophobic as hell. But I digress... My aunt was having a sort of crisis and thought she might be straight, so had a one-night stand with a man. She got pregnant and my grandpa was thrilled with the news, though later they all hated the baby daddy for being a piece of shit. Anyway, during her pregnancy my aunt faced some tough questions and finally decided she would come out of the closet. Her dad, my grandpa, shunned her for a time. Refused to talk to her and was in disbelief. He insisted she was wrong and she must be confused. I'm not sure why it happened, maybe it was the reality of her pregnancy setting in, but one day something shifted with my grandpa and he came to realize that no matter who she loved, she was still his daughter and he loves her. He accepted her wholeheartedly after a period of mourning and intolerance. Now her daughter is 10 and their relationship is better than ever. She recently married her partner who has two sets of twin boys close in age to her daughter, and they are one big happy family. Sometimes life can have a happy ending
