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Do you ever find it hard to look teachers in the eyes even when you’ve done nothing w

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Canterpiece, Feb 12, 2017.

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  1. Canterpiece

    Canterpiece
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    I do sometimes. I guess it’s partly instinctual- but it really depends on the situation. For instance, if a teacher is up close to my face and speaking loudly (but not having a go at me, just talking to me) I have a habit of freezing and not wanting to look them in the eye. I know there’s this one teacher at the moment that I dislike talking to because she can be quite loud and in my sleep-deprived state in the morning that isn’t pleasant. My friends don’t find her to be particularly loud, so maybe that’s just me or something. Perhaps it’s the lack of sleep, maybe I need a better sleeping pattern. :sleep: I can look at her, unless she seems particularly loud when talking to me.

    In school, there used to be this art teacher that would have a go at me for not looking him in the eye, he was a nice enough guy (bit weird and slightly creepy though/unaware) when he would speak to me. It was always a chore trying to keep eye contact with him because he would talk to me for a while and it would be so tempting to look away- there was just something off putting about him, but I’m not sure what. Trouble was, whenever I’d look away he’d tell me off for being impolite. :eusa_naug

    Then there was this teaching assistant that I never really looked in the eye, something just made me feel uneasy around her even though she was a decent enough person. There was also this other teaching assistant that seemed to yell when she stood/sat next to you, so yeah…that was annoying- :dry: but I could sometimes make eye contact with her though. :slight_smile:

    What about you? :eusa_thin Do you find this with any teachers/ people in authority? Why? Are you like me and dislike looking loud people in the eye even though they’re not telling you off? Thoughts? :shrug:

    *fyi, the title should end with "even though you've done nothing wrong". It cut me off and I didn't realise until it was too late. Which is a double entity within itself, but what I meant was that you find it hard to look at them even when you're innocent of any wrong doing.
     
    #1 Canterpiece, Feb 12, 2017
    Last edited: Feb 12, 2017
  2. LuciferMorningstar

    LuciferMorningstar
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    Re: Do you ever find it hard to look teachers in the eyes even when you’ve done nothi

    I am a person who cries way too fast. So I never respond to them and just stared them into the eyes, trying not to cry :grin: In heated situations it's really bad. I had an argument with my Step Father so I just stare at him, he's waiting for an answer and I just stare at him... I was so afraid that he'll slap me or something like that.
     
    #2 LuciferMorningstar, Feb 12, 2017
  3. Kodo

    Kodo
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    Re: Do you ever find it hard to look teachers in the eyes even when you’ve done nothi

    Yes, eye contact has been an issue for me. My mother would tell me all the time, "look people in the eye and remember to smile" when we'd go somewhere.

    It is a bit distracting to me to stare at someone's eyeballs while talking. I realize now it is the polite thing to do to make occasional eye contact, and so I tend to be very intentional about when, where, how, and how long I look at people. Though often I can get away with looking in the vicinity of the person I'm talking to, or talking to them on the side of what I was already occupied with and hence looking at.

    Loudness and brightness is also irritating. For example, if there was a very loud and talkative person wearing neon coloured clothes and being very physical with others, I'd be heavily inclined to avoid this person even if they were being "friendly."

    As a side note, I have Aspergers so this is why - at least in part - the whole eye contact and sensory overstimulation thing is very present in my life. Though I think it goes for anybody that learning on a theoretical level about etiquette and then applying what you've learned is helpful for maintaining smooth social interactions. So if the proper thing in your culture is to look someone in the eye, smile, and give a curt handshake upon greeting them, then we should do this even if it makes us uncomfortable temporarily. Overall, giving off an interested and polite demeanor can only help.

    Unfortunately it is the common perception that by not looking someone in the eye, you have something to hide (as this is common with people who do have something to hide) or are antisocial. And the only way to allay this fear is to look at them and seem cordial.
     
    #3 Kodo, Feb 12, 2017
    Last edited: Feb 12, 2017
  4. Jolly Hermione

    Jolly Hermione
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    Re: Do you ever find it hard to look teachers in the eyes even when you’ve done nothi

    With me it's really strange. I always look teachers in the eyes. When they realise it, they go ahead with teaching but it's like a secret stare down...? I don't know. When it gets too long (like 30 seconds) I tend to look away, but I don't understand, why teachers keep staring at me... I'm not any different than other students! xD
     
    #4 Jolly Hermione, Feb 13, 2017
  5. Kasey

    Kasey
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    Re: Do you ever find it hard to look teachers in the eyes even when you’ve done nothi

    I only look students in the eyes if they are messing around or they really need to focus on what I'm saying. Coming from the opposite side of the desks, I rarely do eye to eye contact.
     
    #5 Kasey, Feb 13, 2017
  6. GalleyGirl

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    Re: Do you ever find it hard to look teachers in the eyes even when you’ve done nothi

    Not good at looking people in the eye, it's not a nervous thing, I just prefer not to. Most teachers are really friendly so don't mind temporary eye contact, but I agree it can be really uncomfortable. Hate it when it's a teacher I don't like, I'm really afraid they might see it in my expression! Especially when it feels like that's what they want for you, like they're demanding eye contact- really makes me get this perverse temptation to glare. (Bad idea!)
     
    #6 GalleyGirl, Feb 13, 2017
  7. AlexanderDragon

    AlexanderDragon
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    Re: Do you ever find it hard to look teachers in the eyes even when you’ve done nothi

    I never look anybody in the eye even if they're of "lower" status than i am
     
    #7 AlexanderDragon, Feb 13, 2017
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