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When did you know?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gaylor, Feb 16, 2017.

  1. gaylor

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    A few months ago I realized I was a lesbian. It hit me like a truck, one second i was straight and the next boom. lesbian. I'm sure on some level I had inklings, but I had without a doubt buried it in the deepest parts of my subconscious.

    I am curious as to when others knew they were LGBTQ, or anything that falls under that umbrella. Had you always known? Was it sudden?
     
  2. MewDew

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    A few months ago, which was about two years after the first time I liked a girl. It took me awhile but I finally figured it out.
     
  3. AlexJames

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    I think that like the OP, the hints were there. Subconsciously, i think i knew. I think if i'd grown up with a better, more accepting mother i would acknowledged it and accepted it back then in middle school instead of labeling it in my head as inappropriate and repressing it for the rest of my life. Up until like the past year or two i didn't even know, i was that repressed and, as a result, that isolated. It is only within the past week, joining here, that i have been able to ackowledge it, understand it, and comfortably label myself as gay.

    But yes i certainly know what the OP is talking about! It felt like the moment i admitted to myself i might not be straight, i went to full on attracted to women! I felt like some awkward, hormonal teenager! The phase i never went through, really.
     
    #3 AlexJames, Feb 16, 2017
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  4. HojaVioleta

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    I kind of feel like I always did, with both gender and sexuality. The hard part was discovering I wasn't supposed to feel this way, and finding it weird that I was only supposed to be attracted to one gender.
     
  5. jenne

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    Haha it's really funny it was so sudden I was lying in bed and I was thinking about why I'm not attracted to any guy and I didn't think girls was an option but then I asked myself am I gay??? I freaked out a little and for the next months I couldn't think about anything else I was trying to figure things out and one year later here I am..I never looked back! I was so blind..
    And also I felt free to change my style and be myself because as I thought I was straight I used to dress girly but that wasn't me at all and I did feel it that back then but I didn't know the reason... Now I do and I'm happier than ever
     
  6. Tempestatus

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    I've always kinda known, but I tried to suppress it up until the very end of 2016. I'm freshly out. Feels good to be me for a change.
     
  7. Amdukias

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    I noticed I'm not-straight when I was around 12 I guess, at first I thought I'd be bisexual, cause I just knew hetero, homo and bi. At the age of 16-17 I not just realized that I don't care about gender at all (pan) but that I didn't even like sex at all. In this time I had my first girlfriend and after I broke up with her cause I was unable to keep anyone that close and stuff I was/am (strangely) the affair of another friend of mine. Being with her made clear that sex for me is something like... hip hop dancing for example. In some way it's like a hobby, but not that kind of hobby I'd choose for myself or even enjoy. But if it makes others happy (friendship +) and I'm able to isolate myself from that person whenever I need to, it's close to okay. If I don't get time to recharge, it's possible that I freak out cause I'm definitely the wrong guy for a relationship/affair/whatever.

    Coming clear about me being trans*.... I know I wore boys clothing at the age of 9 and stuff, but it took me around 4-5 years of figuring everything out. When I was 14 I labeled myself as bigender, cause I wasn't quite sure. Now I tend to call myself a transboy* because it's something people may can deal with. This year I turned 18, so I'm "grown up", came out to my family yesterday and yeah... a lot Things will change from now on :slight_smile:
     
  8. BadassFrost

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    For me it was also really sudden. I think I was 14 when it happened, not sure when exactly. But I remember a lot of details:
    I was just coming home from school. Sitting in a bus, I was thinking about random stuff. But then I started to think about my sexuality, about why I don't like girls the way other boys do. I considered girls 'nice looking', but that was it. To that day, my answer for it was, that I'm still too young to think about sex and feel anything sexual. But what about other boys in my age? Why are they already dating girls and talking about that stuff and me not?
    Bus stopped, few people left, few people got in, along with some boy, few years older than me. I looked at him. He seemed somehow interesting to me. First I looked at his face, then I started to look at different parts of his body. And then it happened. I immediately asked myself questions.. What is this? Why am I staring at this boy? Why do I like his face so much? Why he seems so... sexy? And I got it. Holy shit I'm gay!
    I went home and freaked out. For weeks, or maybe even months, I was searching the internet about things related to homosexuality. It took me almost a year before I accepted myself, and another year before I told someone for the 1st time...
     
  9. Jolly Hermione

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    I just remembered a few days ago, that I once found a magazine in the train with a lot of stories and I remember being really (extremely) interested in the one story about a gay girl who hit on her best friend for the first time xD
    I didn't think anything of it, but nowadays I think this was the first time I knew, something was different with me ^^
     
  10. Sinopaa

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    I've known my gender since I was 7, but I kept it suppressed until I was 27 because of how my parents reacted (very poorly). As for my sexuality, I always was into other women but the attraction to men didn't start until Jr High. There was a really cute guy in our gym clash that I was smitten by and that terrified me. So I kept being pan suppressed until about 3 months ago. So my sexuality went from pretend straight male -> lesbian -> pan. :S
     
  11. Lambeau

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    It's weird because I feel like I've always known I was gay, I just didn't actually realize it until about 2 years ago. In one of my classes we were talking about sexuality and how it affects students in schools. While talking about it, it was just like a truck hit me head-on going 70mph. Like, I always knew I was attracted to guys and that girls never really did anything for me, but I never really thought I was gay. It's hard to explain. I guess I never really thought of my sexuality until then, even if it was obvious.
     
  12. PrinceVegeta

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    Ever since I was 8 I felt things were off and knew I didn't feel like a girl. It was also around the same same time I realized I thoughts girls were attractive.. but I didn't dislike boys either.. I guess the age of 8 made me realize it all, though I of course tried to deny it for a long time.
     
  13. MisterMissy

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    It has been a gradual learning and acceptance process for me.

    Today I can proudly say that I am 50/50 Bisexual. But my earliest signs of having an interest in men go back to when I was about 14 years old, and I started thinking more seriously about my fascination with drag, and imitating a female voice and body language. I was in love with the boldness of female sexuality, and the freedom of expression that women's fashions could afford me. But, I've realized that throughout the many times that I've imagined myself dressing in dinner gowns, long curly wigs, and red hot lipstick, my interests didn't just lie in the thrill of becoming a women for a day/night, it was also in getting to spend time with another man.

    I don't think the drag was ever like... a crutch that I was using in my mind to justify an interest in men, though. More likely the idea of doing drag is what led me to thinking about the possibilities of romantically being with a man, and that it can be just a meaningful as being with a women.

    Fast forward quite a few years later, and I'm in my dorm during Sophomore Year at college, and I'm really starting to have these increasingly bold and clear emotional reactions to very attractive artwork of trim and very pretty men with the long floppy bangs (which I sport myself these days), a cute vest or sweater on them. And it quickly hit me that I might legitimately be gay.

    I had to think for quite a while after that to really understand what these feelings were, because it took me 3 more years to not only realize that I still had a sizable attraction to women as well (one that likely won't go away as I had thought it might), but to also develop a genuine interest in having sexual relations with men. Because before that, it had only ever been an attraction towards looks and personality. Only very very recently have I felt like I could actually do it with a guy, and more importantly, enjoy it.

    So that's my story.
     
    #13 MisterMissy, Feb 16, 2017
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  14. guitar

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    When I was 13-14 I had a few gay experiences, and the fear of people finding out and not wanting to be the "gay kid" pushed any homoerotic feelings into the depths of my psyche for another decade. Around 23 I was at the beach with my girlfriend and it hit me like a ton of bricks I had been staring at guys the entire time.

    It took me a few more years to really start to accept it and come out.
     
  15. Tx87

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    To make a long story short, I was invited to go out with a coworker and her friends for her birthday.

    They were going to a gaybar/club, I couldn't go because I had to work late.

    Laying in bed that night I'm thinking about what it would've been like to make out with another woman and fantasies running through my head.
    Then it hit me…I'm gay

    I said it out loud to myself and I felt this warmth and calm come over me
     
  16. AKTodd

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    Knew after I took active steps to engineer a hookup with a guy (e.g., calling him and arranging to get together) as opposed to just going along with it when a guy hit on me.

    The actual process of thinking about it took up maybe 30 minutes. I didn't find it shocking or the like really.

    Todd
     
  17. Black Cat

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    I've always known. When I was maybe 4-5 I thought the only way to be able to be with another boy was to become a girl - and my 4-5 year-old brain was completely at ease with the idea of swapping gender to be with another boy.

    I suspect this error was due to lack of having visibly gay people in my life. I have a gay uncle, and my father's side of the family literally ignored him coming out - even going so far as to setting him up with a girl to bring as a date to my parents' wedding.

    Obviously I've learned a bit more and done some growing up. But yeah, I've always known I liked guys.
     
  18. Ljjgreat2017

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    I noticed some gay feelings when I was about 11. I had a straight crush at the age of 11 but then out of no where, I start having gay feelings. At first, I didn't acknowledge them. I tried to shove those thoughts to another place in my head/mind. By the time I was 14, that is when I started to question my sexuality. I became more aware of the concept of sexuality. Now that I'm 20, I am very aware of what sexuality is.
     
  19. Kodo

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    I sort of figured I must be asexual from around 14, as I was certainly not interested in sex like other people were. It wasn't until age 17 and a confusing increase in libido until I doubted that label. Currently while I still identify as ace, I prefer the term queer because I'm open to future potential with a committed partner.

    Gender:
    Really at around 12 I started realizing just how uncomfortable I was with growing up as a girl. However I ignored it, accepted being a tomboy, and moved on. At 14 I became clinically depressed and had severe body image issues which subconsciously had to do with the fact I was never "right," physically. At 15 I could not get it out of my head that I wanted to be a guy. After a lot of research and introspection over the ensuing year, I realized I was transgender. When I was 16 I came out to my older brother. At 17 I came out to my parents. Unfortunately there was a severely negative reaction and due to financial instability, I was forced back into the closet while I live at home. I intend to begin transition late this year when I go to university.
     
    #19 Kodo, Feb 16, 2017
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  20. Riverhawk

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    I first started admiring the male body in 8th grade when I saw a picture of a guys butt. I didn't accept it until 10th grade though