Does anyone struggle with loneliness?

I used to. Now I have a job and school and a lot of stuff to deal with, and I am grateful if I get to have a moment alone.
I hope you can find some good clubs. A job might help too.
But I understand it being scary to go outside your comfort zone and getting out more.

 

All the time.. I do have a job but it is in a call centre so impossible to have conversations with people that you work with... I also don't have many friends to socialise with, I live with my brother but whenever he is out with his girlfriend, it leaves me in the house on my own... I used to think that was the way I liked it and then you realise there is only so much you can take! I am far from sociable too, I find approaching people for a chat incredibly nerve wrecking, even the people I work with so yeah, it's a struggle... I always hold hope I can snap out of it though!

 

Yeah. But it's mostly because I don't have a best friend. Or the fact that I don't have a boyfriend.

 

Yes!

 

Yes, I do. I have people in my life that I consider friends, but for the most part I feel like they're more important to me than I am to them. I don't dwell on it too much, but it's tough to cope with sometimes.

 

Every single day.

 

Quite often, but I usually bury it with work/books/ TV shows/video games/sleeping.

 

I absolutely know what this is like.

I struggle with loneliness constantly, but the intensity of it will fluctuate from day to day, week to week, and month to month.

Back when I was in middle school, having been home-schooled up to that point, I was an incredibly awkward and shy kid. I had no social skills, so starting conversations was usually a fluke. I had no clue how to make myself desirable to talk to or to become friends with because there was really nothing cool about me, other than my ability to draw really well. And periodically this did garner some attention for me, but it was always short lived attention.

As I reached the end of middle school, I had managed to make some friends and acquaintances, but still no one who wanted to hang out outside of school. So I still often found myself sitting in my room, half the time with nothing to do, wondering how in the hell I still didn't have any friends. Was I doing something wrong? Was I really that awkward or ugly or something? Did I just not fit into any cliques, so no one really wanted me to be part of their group?

However, by the time I reached high school, my social anxieties and awkwardness gradually faded away. I allowed myself to be more comfortable and unapologetic with who I was as a person, which in many ways, allowed me to eventually find friends where I didn't before. I also no longer worried whether I was making friends or not, or making enough or not. I just allowed the chips to fall where they may. Because a friend is often only that, a friend. But a "good" friend is hard to come by. So if it takes a while to finally meet a good friend, then you know they were worth the wait.

Most of the time these days, I feel pretty okay. I've managed to find some wonderful friends from my college years whom I talk to often enough to keep me social and emotionally supported. But I also work at a movie theater now, where I'm able to interact with a generally upbeat and fun group of employees. The only reason I feel particularly lonely now is over a lack of a boyfriend/girlfriend. I've only ever had two girlfriends prior, both of which weren't in my life more than a month each, and it's been nearly 10 years since I was with the last one. So you can imagine I'm somewhat anxious to find a special someone, or at least someone who'd like to go on a dinner date.

But, even if the loneliness continues to plague me, I don't ever let it take over, because my feeling is the longer I have to wait, the more amazing the person I'm waiting for is sure to be.

 

I have, though I regard being alone as both a blessing and a curse.

I have struggled with clinical depression since I was fourteen, I'm on the autism spectrum, and am transgender. Insofar as normality and relatability goes I am a far shot.

What can you do? Live. Force yourself to engage the world and give people a chance. Sometimes they will disappoint you, but sometimes they won't. Sometimes people can be a beautiful thing. However, also learn to love yourself. If you want to be alone, there is nothing wrong with that. Strength can come from solitude too. If you want people in your life, there is nothing stopping you.

When I was younger I thought I'd be better off alone. That I was a freak, unlovable, broken. So I isolated myself and dumped the only friend I had at the time. Instead of independence and self-respect, imprisonment and a deep self hatred grew. I thought I was incompatible with people. And I also thought the only friend I could have is someone just like me, and who would be my lifelong companion. But that isn't true. I learned that friendships can be wonderful things and that they don't have to last forever. Like a flower, they bloom in their own time and pass away as a perfect memory. They come in all shapes, colors, types - not just like you but complementing you. Friends are people who are compliments, not copies. I digress.

Loneliness is hard. You feel like no one can understand, and of course they don't. You are the only you in existence. But you are not alone. Love yourself and let yourself love others. Stop giving a fuck about society's pressures - because in the end we are all just weird little puzzle pieces that don't fit in.

 

Yes, and I've whined about discussed the trouble I have making friends in many threads here on EC.

 

A lot. I don't cope well with being alone.

 

this. couldn't have said it better

 

Being gay is a huge burden to carry, but that's not y I feel lonely. I feel lonely because I can't talk about it with anyone in my life. I know that my problem isn't the biggest problem in the world, but it's the only problem that I can't talk about. Sometimes I feel like the secret is gonna kill me, like I'm about to burst.

 

I'm in the same boat as you. My problem is that I'm unusually happy to be just by myself, I could spend days without talking to anyone and feel amazing. But when I get depressed or stressed about things unrelated to friends, I have no social support network so I can very easily crash and stay at the bottom of the pit for months until I finally climb up by myself.

 

All the time. I have a total of 3 friends and 2 live out of state. The third has work and doesn't get home till 8 at night then grades papers all weekend (she is a 2nd grade teacher).

So basically I am home with my mom and bro most the time, which is the same as being home alone. My brother is usually in his room and my mom is usually in hers.

Going to school is my only time to interact with others. Hopefully I will make friend when I move.

 

I feel lonely quite often, even when I'm around people because I don't feel like I fit in anywhere. I really tried to make some friends in college and I actually spent some time with some people, but I always felt bad about all of it, I don't know how to explain it. It feels like it's all a lie. I tried expressing myself to those "friends" and they would understand it sometimes and try to help, but after a while they started to grow apart from me.
I'm a very emotional person and I always feel like everything is my fault, so I tried to talk to them and they told me that I just keep talking about my problems and they also have their own problems. The problem is that I suffer from anxiety and depression, I don't mean to use my mental health as an excuse for being a bad friend, but I felt really bad that this was making people get away from me. They would sometimes ask me to go out with them, like to parties or even to the movies but I would often give up on going because I was feeling bad. They stopped inviting me to suff.
I talked to my therapist and she mentioned that they didn't mean to be rude to me, they just don't know how to help. Maybe trying to talk to people who don't understand about this kind of problem actually just makes it worse. She also said that I feel rejected by people because I might reject myself somehow, so that's something I have to work on. Whenever I tried to fit in in a group of people, I just end up feeling incredibly bad, sometimes for no apparent reason and sometimes because I see that I don't feel comfortable with anything, so I kind of gave up trying. Sometimes I wish I were in a relationship with someone who would understand me and have someone to hug and kiss and hold me when I need and to hold him when he needs, but honestly I don't think that's going to happen any time soon, considering how socially unavailable I am. So yeah, I feel lonely and crappy and bad all the time I try not to think about it because it makes me really sad, but it doesn't matter what I try to do, it's always there, in the corner of my mind and sometimes I just catch myself allowing these thoughts to go over my mind and drive me insane.

 

I'm an intense introvert who, after mingling with people in a social setting for a few hours, I'm fine with going back into my cave for a few days.

For me, I don't experience loneliness a whole lot anymore. But I always have my pets and partner to talk with if I feel low and isolated. However, with some personal stuff coming up, I'll be thrown back into a social scene more often, so it's something I'll have to adjust to.