1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

How long did you know your sexuality was different?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Tre, Feb 18, 2017.

  1. Tre

    Tre
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2016
    Messages:
    271
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    As a small kid, the idea of marrying a man didn't seem right for me. I thought things would change when I got older. At around seven I learnt you could marry the same gender. I was so happy that was a possibility and I got obsessed with it.
     
  2. AlexJames

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2017
    Messages:
    1,139
    Likes Received:
    226
    Location:
    Texas
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    A few people
    For me, all the signs were there in early middle school. So like 6th grade, age 11 or 12 ish. I noticed things like that i checked out girls, not boys. But that was back in the early 2000's so marriage was only allowed between a man and a woman, and my parents were southern baptist Christians - conservative, rural, etc. I had no idea that what i was feeling was perfectly normal and acceptable, so i spent the rest of my years until adulthood suppressing it.
     
    #2 AlexJames, Feb 19, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 19, 2017
  3. Jolly Hermione

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2016
    Messages:
    595
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    Switzerland
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I first thought I was asexual, because I never even thought you could be gay (no one I knew was gay, so it was new to me). I guess I started realising you could be gay at the age of 17/18 ^^
     
  4. Loveislife

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2015
    Messages:
    219
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    None of your business
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    I guess I always kind of felt different but sexuality wasn't a topic that was on my mind a lot and I just assumed that I was one of those girls that just wasn't that interested in sex (sometimes, people would say that women just aren't that interested in sex as men, so I just considered myself to be normal). I had a boyfriend when I was 17/18, but that was because I felt that I was late to the game and that it was time to get a boyfriend and experience things like kissing and sex because I didn't want to be a late bloomer... yeah, I basically wanted a boyfriend to just get those things over with. At the time, I convinced myself that I was romantically interested in a close male friend of mine, so we became lovers... during the relationship, I started to question if I might be asexual, because the sexual side of the relationship did not interest me at all and it made me deeply uncomfortable. We broke up after six months, but we had barely seen each other in those six months, and the only sexual thing that happened was me giving him a hand job a few times (god, I hated that).

    At age 20, I realized that I was attracted to women. I had simply not seen that as a serious possibility before that point for several reasons. I had never fallen for a girl in my life, although I realized while reflecting on my life that I definitely had been sexually attracted to girls since my early teens. So, I guess that I knew for sure that I was different when I was 20, but before that I had definitely felt odd for a long time already.
     
  5. Assassin'sKat

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2016
    Messages:
    645
    Likes Received:
    16
    Location:
    Your head, zombie.
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I guess around middle school is when I realized there was something different. I noticed that I had this weird desire to touch and look at women. I thought that I was some kind of weird pervert or something...
    I've had attachments to girls long before then, I just never thought they were anything weird.
     
  6. AuroraBorealis

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2013
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    U.S.
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I was similar to you, as a child I never felt like marrying a man was something I want. I questioned whether or not a girl could be with a girl around 7 or 8. I was 11 when I learned what a lesbian was and became obsessed with it, but at the same time I couldn't accept of I were to be one and thought I was "too normal" to be gay
     
  7. Tre

    Tre
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2016
    Messages:
    271
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    As a kid I did know a married lesbian couple, but I didn't know being gay was supposed to be weird until I was ten. I just thought it was an option not many people were choosing for whatever reason. I just grew up in a non-religious household. When I found out about gay people and how weird it's supposed to be I thought I was too normal to be gay as well. I just thought I found marrying a girl appealing because of cooties or something. When I was twelve I started to question whether I was truly gay, but I really didn't want to be. I was terrified of telling anyone.
     
  8. SgWay

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2017
    Messages:
    19
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Kuala Lumpur
    I had a crush on a boy in my class when I was 12.
     
  9. Austin

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2008
    Messages:
    3,172
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I had crushes on boys starting around 2nd grade but still expected to marry a girl.
     
  10. Jay84

    Jay84 Guest

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2017
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Texas
    I've always found some boys cute but it wasn't really until around until I was 11 did it take on a different meaning and even when it was quite obvious I was attracted to boys it still didn't occur to me why I'd fantasize about other boys.
     
  11. MisterMissy

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2017
    Messages:
    220
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Atlanta
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I guess the past 4-5 months or so. Which is one of the reasons why I joined EC.
    I still am unsure of how my sexuality will develop from this point on, as I have no idea if and when I may ever have relations with a man, let alone a woman in the foreseeable future. Because I don't think I'll ever quite know what my real preferences are until I've had some actual experience. It's definitely all still a learning process, regardless. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
     
  12. Margaret

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2017
    Messages:
    40
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    USA
    I knew at 14. The girls I hung out with were all boy crazy and talked about boys none stop. I knew I had no interest in boys, and had an attraction to women all my female friends lacked. I accepted I was a lesbian at 14 but decided the best approach was to tell nobody because I grew up in a church and was just an anxious kid. Now I wish I had told people then. I actually started dating guys later on, in hopes it would somehow be okay or I would fall in love with a man. Obviously that didn't work. I fell in love with my female roommate even though we were never really more than friends (it was all emotional I guess is what I'm trying to say), my boyfriend realized how I felt and I broke things off. I started dating another guy, I guess you could say I'm a slow learner..
     
    #12 Margaret, Feb 21, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 21, 2017
  13. Justinian20

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2014
    Messages:
    32
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    Brisbane Australia
    Oh my all these stories actually remind me of a relationship I had with a girl, I was like so uninterested in the relationship, I didn't even want one and so that led me to calling myself asexual. It was only after so many gay dreams that I realised I could be gay. When I looked back I saw that so many things pointed towards me being gay and attracted to boys.
     
  14. europeanguy

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2015
    Messages:
    445
    Likes Received:
    13
    Location:
    somewhere
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Family only
    well there were all sorts of gay signs growing up. but to be honest during that time i just never thought about it. i did find it weird that i didn't want to be with a girl but i thought that was normal at that age, i did go to religious schools though, so id never heard of being gay. so i guess its unconsiously about 10 years. consciously about 3 years, since at 17 i just went "F**k it" and thought that just for a week id think of myself as gay and see how it went. and well here i am, still gay, so it clearly worked out haha
     
  15. musicenthusiast

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2016
    Messages:
    56
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Australia
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I think I had an idea when I was about 18, but I didn't truly accept it until last year. But thinking back, there were signs that I liked girls when I was much younger, maybe 14. I think it took me a lot longer than some people because I had crushes on guys too, so I just thought I was straight.
     
  16. gaylor

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2017
    Messages:
    36
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    NY
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I realized very suddenly about 2 months ago, I remember a huge pit in my stomach forming after I caught myself admiring the body of another girl.
     
  17. That one guy

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2014
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Essex
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I realised after a change of environment, being around different people meant that I could better realise how much more attractive I found guys
     
  18. TrevinMichael

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2017
    Messages:
    650
    Likes Received:
    266
    Location:
    St. Paul MN
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I liked guys since 14 or younger

    I did not act on it until my late 30s
     
  19. AwesomGaytheist

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 19, 2013
    Messages:
    6,909
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Pittsburgh, PA
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I started having feelings I didn't understand at 12.
     
  20. TidMaskin

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2016
    Messages:
    97
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Washington
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    I understood that when I was a teenager. I just noticed that I didn't see nothing bad in this, besides I knew some guys which I liked as possible partners :slight_smile: And of course some of my friends helped me to understand that :slight_smile: