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Do you believe in a gaydar?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by choni, Feb 25, 2017.

  1. choni

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    I don't know, but some people claim they have a gaydar. Gay people will claim they have one. Well, I'm gay and have absolutely no gaydar whatsoever. I believe you can't really assume someone's sexuality. I don't necessarily think it's rude to assume, because there's obviously nothing wrong with being gay, but it can just be inaccurate. Especially if it's based on stereotypes or something like that. But some people claim there's just an intuition and can sense when someone is gay. Do you have a gaydar?
     
  2. AlamoCity

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    Every gay guy I've been out on a date with (of course, this reinforces my knowledge that they are gay and is basically a loop of self-perpetuation) has had one or more traits I'd peg as "gay-like." A lisp, a delicate creek in their neck, their love of Beyoncé, etc. It especially tickles me to no end when it's a guy that totally claims he's "masc"/"straight acting."
     
  3. Tamatia

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    There's a dating site that has a game you can play that runs off of member profile information that has been voluntarily given. You're shown photos of two different people at a time, with no other context except that you know that one of them is gay. Then you guess which one.

    I've played enough times for my average to even out, and I guess correctly about 76% of the time. So yes, I think “gaydar” is a thing that people can have. :slight_smile:

    However, I want to qualify that. You see, profile photos are sorta context of their own, because the clothes people wear, the poses they take, and even their expressions are all clues to their identity... and sometimes they present those clues quite intentionally, especially on a dating site. :slight_smile:

    The same goes for real life: often, you see what people want you to see. Sometimes, though, they don't even realize they want you to see it.
     
    #3 Tamatia, Feb 26, 2017
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  4. Embi

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    I think gaydar is a thing but it's never 100% accurate. I've had moments where I saw someone and thought "They are probably gay" but I'll never know for sure unless they tell me. Besides, not everyone acts stereotypical and there are more sexualities than gay and straight. I think people are able to spot those who are in the closet because they tend to give away that they are not straight or people who act in stereotypical ways. But if someone isn't in the closet anymore and doesn't act according to stereotypes or belongs to the bi+ spectrum, it's not really possible to spot their sexuality.

    And I think gaydar is helpful when you find someone cute because when you talk to someone who you assume is gay, it is more likely that they are going to react positively towards your approach. But there's always the chance of being wrong.
     
  5. That one guy

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    kinda but a guy I have a crush on turned out to be straight despite looking like the twinkiest twink to ever twink which crippled my soul.

    I think most gays have more flair so that is what I normally look for however my gaydar just try to assume every cute guys gay so its kinda flawed
     
  6. Loveislife

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    I think that it might exist sort of... You can't always tell if someone's gay when you judge if someone is gay or not by whether they have some stereotypical gay characteristics, but I believe that this often can be accurate. But, what I would also count as a part of gaydar is trying to determine whether a person is interested in the same sex or in the opposite sex. You can do this by looking at if they look at girls or at guys, if they flirt (or don't flirt) with girls or with guys, if they seem interested in girls or in guys, etcetera. So basically, body language can give away a few hints about someone's sexuality, too. :slight_smile:
     
  7. MisterMissy

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    My grandmother claims to have one, as she knew I might come out as gay somewhere down the road, especially because of my interests, but also because of my mild but visible flamboyancy.

    My friend Cotton (yes, that's his real name) is also gay, and while he hadn't come out yet when I met him, I assumed he was gay mainly for his soft and more articulate voice. Stereotypical, sure, but there's a still a 50/50 chance I think that if you have the soft articulate voice, then you might be gay.

    On the other hand, Cotton had his suspicions about me before I came out to him, because he could sense from my mannerisms and personality that I likely wasn't fully straight. He also confessed to me, lol, that when I had him over to watch some bad movies with me, I ate some pizza too fast and had to lay down on my bed a short bit. And he got so nervous, sitting in the chair next to me, because he had no idea whether or not we would just start spontaneously making out.

    We didnt, but it was so cute of him to admit that, haha.
     
    #7 MisterMissy, Feb 26, 2017
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  8. OGS

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    Most definitely. I've been wrong a couple times over twenty-some-odd years but frankly my vision is less accurate than that and I still believe in it.:lol:
     
  9. JonSomebody

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    Absolutely.
     
  10. Stewie

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    Definatly, but I think it's much easier to pick a gay male out of a crowd over a female. Gay men are generally easy to spot, there's exceptions however, I don't think even the most finely tuned gaydar would ever in a million years pick me up if I'm out with my straight friends and playing the part. No one did last night.. I even had a woman hitting on me lol
     
    #10 Stewie, Feb 26, 2017
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  11. skittlz

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    Kinda, but it's based on stereotypes and an indescribable gut feeling. Generally, I feel that it's more difficult to guess if a girl is gay/queer, compared to a guy.
     
  12. Kodo

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    I believe in intuition, which is what the expression "gaydar" really refers to.
    Our brains subconsciously pick up a lot of information, and almost seems to be quietly developing mental intuition software over time. Some people are naturally more intuitive, and for some it takes years to fine-tune.

    There are many times I've known that someone was gay, and also many times I had no idea. More often than not, it isn't by some magic but by observation and little clues that hint at someone's sexuality. For example, I recently found out my swim coach was gay. He previously had mentioned, when someone asked whether he'd been to a bar where women served drinks in lingerie, he said he had absolutely no interest in that sort of thing. A few months later he mentioned his boyfriend, and that previous comment made sense. Anyway.

    Overall, I've noticed that I actually tend to feel more safe with gay people, even before I knew they were gay. Many that I've met have been very kind, but relatable in a way that is different from straight people. It is a feeling that is hard to describe.
     
  13. Jolly Hermione

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    I believe people can have a gaydar, but I'm also one of those who have absolutely nothing xD

    However, if you keep all the stereotypes in mind (and someone would actually fit into all the stereotypes) I'd say that this would work for a gaydar?
     
  14. Mistake

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    I believe in it honestly. Its not always accurate but if you're gay / bisexual its more accurate.

    They gayer the more accurate.


    Now for girls, if they're a lipstick lesbian: Give up. There's no way you'll be able to tell.
     
  15. Lacayda

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    Well kind of... but I think it's mostly based on stereotypes. And unfortunately it's way easier to spot a gay man than to spot a gay woman.:confused::lol:
     
  16. Amal

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    I think I do... I use my intuition. But that one tends to fail from time to time, so basically I don't trust myself 100% there.
     
  17. Canterpiece

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    It's interesting how people often have a strong opinion on whether a person is gay or not. I've had people ask if I'm gay, but I've also had people use me as an example of heterosexuality (I mean take (my name) she's straight). If this happens, I usually don't correct it because I tend to feel awkward correcting people like that.

    But then I've had people who straight from the minute of meeting me (pun not intended) have asked me if I'm gay, and when I've come out to some people I've been met with "Yeah, I figured you were anyway". When I came out to a close friend of mine, she said that when she first met me I gave her a sort of "vibe" but she didn't want to say anything.

    So yeah...it varies. I sometimes pick up on something, much like I can usually tell if I'm going to get on with someone or not. Like Kodo said, it's just intuition. Sometimes it's off, and some people are better at it than others.
     
  18. Boudicca

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    I have terrible gaydar, and most people tell me that they are surprised to hear that I'm gay, unless they really know me. Some people may be able to read people better than others, but gaydar isn't magic. There's no way to know 100% if someone's gay without them telling you.
     
  19. Sleeping Owl

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    I also think it's easier to use gaydar on a guy than a girl, it's generally disposition-based/perhaps how much care they take to their appearance (although guys my age have started acting like girls with respect to how much time they spend on appearance stuff), and on just subtle feminine cues I guess.
     
  20. Tightrope

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    YES. I am male. It works better on men than it does on women, unless the women are really obvious. It even works on really, really masculine men who can be a little cliche.
    It's not foolproof but it's fairly effective.