Do you consider regret rape?

I agree with this. There have been countless times I've seen people call rape because of regret. If you gave consent when it was happening and did not refuse while it was happening the its not rape.

Rape is when you give indication that you don't want to but the person forces themselves upon you anyways.

 

Absolutely not. If you told someone they can do something to you, and that's all they did, you can't just change your mind after it's been done and call it rape. Absolutely not. Also, that makes actual rape seem like it's something smaller than it is. Because if you are trying to make someone stop doing something to you, or you are in a position where you have no control in the first place, that is really traumatizing. Comparing an experience like that to regret is just cruel. Because it is absolutely not the same.

 

I have to say, especially since being drunk was brought up in the OP, if a person is having sex with people who are impaired they don't have a lot of moral high ground from which to defend themselves no matter what the other claims after. Not a good position to put yourself in.

 

Responding to the law thing. Law is law, its a good law though. Hard to measure rape though. And people abusing the rape allegation is not helping. That seems to be more and more and more a thing now.

If you know you loose control if your wasted and you get wasted, (because you know you do at some point). And you have sex, its your own fault? counting in that you know yourself when drinking (Which you should know how you respond to it. So you wont go to that level)

And that you were not influenced and pushed towards drinking so much or not aware what you were drinking by tricks or jokes.

But if the other party is totally sober and/or aware of it taking advantage of that, it is rape.



If you decide to not want sex anymore for whatever reason right in between the action, that is your right. And is rape if not respected.

 

No if you regret it that's out on you. That isn't fair to the other person and it could ruin their lives.

 

I feel sort of troubled by the new consent debate. Not because I think rape is okay, but because I think that we're crossing the line into the area of the sex police, which is a rabbit hole I don't think we should go down.

If my boyfriend and I both got drunk and had sex, did we both rape each other at the same time? Nowadays with campus rape tribunals (Where the accused boy is guilty until proven innocent), innocent young men are being expelled from college because a girl decided she'd make up a story to get back at a one-night stand.

It's one thing if you get someone drunk to lower their inhibitions. It's another to have a few drinks, have consensual sex, then wake up the next morning with a warrant out for your arrest because you "raped" someone with their consent.

This is why I think that the campus rape crisis is a molehill made into a mountain. The Obama administration redefined rape to include consensual sex, and since there's plenty of sex going on in college dorms, naturally the figures went up. But that does not warrant nor does it entitle an administration to create an extralegal system that destroys the right to due process simply because you don't like the fact that our justice system operates on the standard of "innocent until proven guilty."

Hopefully this issue gets cleared up soon.

 

I just wanted to clarify that I was talking about the culpability of someone having sex with an impaired person, not of the impaired person themselves.

 

I think it depends if you were pressured or not. People can be pretty pushy. It's hard enough to resist it when you're sober. It gets a lot harder when you're drunk.

 

I do not consider the regretting of a sexual encounter to be rape, no. Anyone can regret a consensual sexual encounter. Rape is contingent upon consent, not the evaluation of your consent afterward.

AwesomeGaytheist brings up some important points. Sexual crimes in general tend to be treated as "guilty until proven innocent" and that is problematic. While often the issue with rape, especially on college campuses, is that it is underreported, the statistics can also be inflated by looser definitions that encompass any drunken sexual encounter (whether or not it was consensual and whether or not all parties were drunk) and the tendency to treat individuals accused of rape as inherently guilty and needing to prove their innocence (antithetical to how the American justice system is supposed to function).

Just my two cents: I have been very drunk before. Aside from the couple times I've actually blacked out and thus had a gap in my memory, even though I was stumbling slurring piss-ass drunk I would have been able to consent to a sexual encounter if I had wanted to. For example, in that state I've been able to say no to someone who wanted to dance with me and to someone who wanted to drive drunk. Being drunk, at least for me and I assume for others, does not completely eliminate all rational thought and all ability to consent. Obviously that does not give someone the right to take advantage of you and if you are sober and you want to engage in a sexual encounter with someone who is inebriated, I would say: do not do it. Even if they seem to want it and say yes, it's pragmatic to avoid that whole mess in general. Now, as for when both parties are drunk; that's something I'd like to hear more discussion on because I seem to see nothing but "gray areas" there. Being an asexual virgin I can't exactly speak from experience.

 

My two cents is that people who consider regret --> dur I was raped need to grow up. In theory, the system already reflects that someone who partakes in sex without objecting and without being under duress is responsible for their decision - that's why we have the age of consent. My definition of duress means not "we were making out and he/she stepped it up a notch and I didn't object" to be clear.

Edit: @AwesomeGaytheist
What exactly did the Obama Administration do to change the operative definition of rape? Not American but genuinely curious

 

If I remember right, his administration was the one that said you can't consent to legal sex if you're drunk.

Moving on, no I don't think simply regretting a sex act can make it become rape. Honestly, I think Chip and AwesomeGaytheist said it best on how something like this should be taken.

 

In the original given example, I am tempted to chime in and say that's bogus, calling rape under those circumstances.

However, working out imaginary hypothetical situations is dangerous, because we have to see the premise at work in a number of real life situations before we see most of the actual implications. I cautiously withhold opinion until it becomes more than just an imaginary example.

 

I'm excited for society to finally progress to the point where you need to ask your partner to reaffirm that they consent to sex every 1 minute during intercourse.

 

I do feel its your responsibility if you take drugs (which alcohol is). If I go to a party alone, and go wasted. I am up for grabs, it is still always the fault of the rapist. And nasty and wrong. But it is stupid of myself to let myself get to that position where I do not control my body.

Just as much as if your drunk and break stuff on the street, you should not drink if you know you do that. You need to own up to the fact what you are capable or not capable of when you drink. Or dont drink. To be safe. Or take measurements to be safe.


So in that sense I am responsible for putting myself in a dangerous situation. I feel, but it should not have to be like that. But we all know the world is like that. So we got to be careful.

Because alcohol is socially accepted as something not as extreme, it does not mean you should not be extra carefull and I do feel its totally stupid if you dont check what your capable of or have an extra friend that you can trust to watch your back.


But I was kind of going off topic. But I felt that I needed to say something because I might have come off totally wrong. Rape is wrong, and if it happened the rapist needs to go to jail. I am not saying the victim that was drunk and reckless had it coming, so good lesson there you go !! No absolutely not! But it was their responsibility to avoid a particular situation.

But sometimes a person gets sad, drinks, goes somewhere, go crazy etc. They should be safe and not raped. But truth is, its not like that. So be careful with drugs. I call it drugs because drink sounds to mild and it is drugs.

I am just upset at so many teenagers who go get wasted and get taken advantage of, evil ***** those rapist. But it could have maybe been avoided if they take more responsibility

But the rapist is always at fault.

---------- Post added 27th Feb 2017 at 06:54 AM ----------

Added to that, It could happen to me or anyone . It just should not be like that! Its rotten ! You should be able to get wasted or whatever you want to do and be safe. But I hope people dont take alcohol to lightly.

Its harsh to say, hey you got raped but you were not careful ! Its not like I would do that. It happened to a friend of mine and I did not say that (but something in that direction to be careful). I support them all the way trough. And I know myself to how sexual harassment can hurt.

I rather hope someone reads this and thinks hey maybe before I take something possibly intoxicating I make sure I am safe.

 

It's a gray area. Regret on It's own is not rape. However, I think it does fall into the rape umbrella if you decide to stop in the middle of sex and the other person refuses to listen/forces you anyway.

Intoxication is a big gray area. I don't think It's automatically rape, but it depends on the state of mind. I would consider it rape if a slightly tipsy person had sex with someone blacked out. But just having alcohol in your system doesn't automatically mean you don't know what you're doing. I have been a bit drunk before and still knew what I was doing. If you are blacked out, It's another matter.