As like many of you, my family is extremely homophobic, and they don't think before they speak. My cousin and I are the rainbow sheep of the family. She's got a great girlfriend and their mutual (lesbian couple) friends got married recently. And now my brother-in-law's niece's future brother-in-law also came out as gay. All of these things were the main topic of discussion this past Sunday. Some very hurtful things were said about "them" whilst I was sitting there, and they are all very much aware of MY sexuality too. But that didn't stop them from bashing the community and using the oh-so-familiar phrase of "God created a MAN and a WOMAN to populate the earth. Homosexuality is unnatural". I just rolled my eyes at their ignorance. My mom loves saying we are IN this world, we're not FROM this world. Meaning, we as people shouldn't live according to what SOCIETY (Note: Also people) say or do but rather live as we were raised and be better than "SOCIETY". Well, guess what? Sexuality isn't a choice, even though to the ignorant it seems that way. My mom continued on Sunday by saying that gay people are simply people who can't find someone of the opposite sex, so they settle for people of the same sex. FUCKING FUCK!!!!! I was so upset by this time, that is SO FUCKING IGNORANT it's actually laughable!!! I couldn't believe it. I was at a loss for words. No, really, this takes the cake. Next time the subject of gays comes up, I will politely pardon myself whilst they do their bashing and ranting, etc. because I don't want to hear any of it again!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They don't THINK before they speak, and they all know DAMN WELL that I identify as bisexual, and that they are actually talking about ME too, albeit indirectly. Fuck it, I've had ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!! :tantrum: :tears: What would YOU do in my situation? Would you rather stay and try to defend the community or would you also politely excuse yourself and let them have their "fun"??? It's just so funny that someone who is so "pure" would make gays the centre of discussion EVERY SINGLE TIME!!! LMFAO :roflmao:
Ugh, that's frustrating. As for what I would do in your situation, since you asked...it depends on how I felt. Sometimes I have the patience of a saint, and sometimes I have an incredibly short fuse. So, there are like...four different possibilities as to what I would do. 1. I would excuse myself and leave so as not to blow up. 2. I would stay and simply nod, honestly not paying too much attention to the conversation (or if I was, holding back a bit of anger) 3. I would civilly, but maybe with a bit of sharpness, argue against them. 4. I would absolutely blow up in their faces. I'm honestly not sure which is the most likely, since they're all things that I would and could do in that scenario. That is sooo incredibly frustrating.Wish they'd learn respect.
I think your parents are kind of dumb, because when you think of it. LGBT people are still not completely accepted by society. Which means we are what she calls better than "Society" because us LGBT folks are being individuals and not necessarily following the bourgeoisie roles of society commonly depicting women as being housewives and men as being the breadwinners. I already transcend those roles with being a man who is not the breadwinner and I don't necessarily want to be. So have transcended those roles, which means you are "Better than Society." I think she is stupid too I mean look, your mother thinks that gay men like men because they can't find women. Explain to her, what a gay male who thinks vagina's are ewwwww and yucky is. Was he somehow into women in the past even though the only woman he's imagined called Jessica was completely fake and made up because he was trying his hardest to pretend to be straight. What about this one, guy rejects him attempting to get closer and so he sinks into a depression and almost thinks about killing himself because a person who was of the male gender didn't care about his feelings, I had feelings for him and I was 15. I'd never felt that way towards a female and never have felt that way because I am a gay male and have always been a gay male. You are a bisexual woman and you have always been a Bisexual woman. And of course they are religious, you can always hit back with "I guess you want the earth to die quicker." Because overpopulation is killing the earth and in a way, homosexuality can be considered mother nature's way of controlling overpopulation. Because most of us can't have babies and if we want them, well we'll actually want them because we are same sex couples and we have to think about children more than straight people and there is no risk of overpopulation or unwanted babies. So there are easy and logical ways to beat their arguments just think of how stupid they sound and pretend as if it's a joke that they think their arguments have any merit on this planet.
I would let them have their "fun". You can't reason with people who are ignorant. It sounds tough to deal with people who talk down to the LGBT community but it isn't your fault. Your sexual orientation isn't a choice. I have had similar experiences with some family members. I've heard homophobic language and it'll piss me off. I really hate to hear prejudice about the LGBT community.
Thanks y'all. You have all raised great points. Especially you, Justinian20. I agree with what you said about them being stupid. I should actually be pitying them because they are so comfy in their ignorance-blanket that they are blind to anything different. I think in a way they are becoming more accepting of the fact that there are, in fact, homo- / bi- / pan- / trans- / asexuals and that's why it's almost always a massive topic of discussion. And I've also noticed that these discussions occur mostly when my brother-in-law's sister is present. She is just as homophobic as the rest of my family, and my own sister threatened to write me off if I followed "that" lifestyle. Whatever "that" is. It's almost as though they treat LGBT-ness like a curable, but highly contagious disease. Meaning, they think we CHOSE this life for ourselves. Oh yeah, sure, we chose to have daily inner struggles, we chose to (in some places) endanger ourselves, and we chose to be shunned by friends and family, because we don't want to be like everyone else :rolle: Like I said, it's actually so absurd it's laughable. We should all get together and celebrate our uniqueness. Oh wait, we already do, and we call it Pride events! Also a topic that is discussed almost every time that homosexuality is mentioned. Sigh. I want to make a movie with everyone on EC acting in it. I want to call the movie, "How To Train Your Family". It would be about LGBT individuals teaching the homophobes our ways. Showing them that we're all just people in the end. People with emotions, people who can think. And the ending will be where everyone agrees that being LGBT isn't something to shun someone over, but rather to love them regardless, and make them see that we're all equal...
I dont understand people, why do they never remember that you need to love one another. Even your enemy ? So if gays are the enemy....... Maybe in the back of her head she thinks you will come around if you hear that. She really believes because someone cant find someone, they are gay ? Being gay is actually harder when it comes to finding someone ? So ? It's just so funny that someone who is so "pure" would make gays the centre of discussion EVERY SINGLE TIME!!! Right ! I mean what is it helping, people do what they do and are what they are. Spend that energy on making up a plan to make the community around you a better place instead of all this bashing. What is the fear? Afraid they might get similar feelings if it is socially accepted all over ? I do feel that shoving it in everyone throat that accept gays or you are worthless is not right either. But this endless bickering around your own daughter. I can only think she hopes you turn around. She comes from love probably, and she may think of her own mother thinking of you and let it root deep....but Im just guessing I would write a letter, a good letter from the heart. And if you like it maybe you could give it. But at least you did not keep it all in.
I have a family members who still talk in a homophobic way despite me coming out. I honestly just tune them out even though it really makes me sad.. considering the fact they said they wouldn't say such things.
I think you may be onto something here. I (obviously) don't know if they talk about homosexuality when I'm NOT present but maybe they do it on purpose BECAUSE I'm present? Who knows WHAT goes on in their twisted minds......:rolle: Again, you may be onto something here. I was my grandmother's favourite, she used to call me Miss World. I was a bit young to fully remember her but my mom told me all about it. She passed on right before my third birthday. I know my mom means well, but she doesn't realize how much I'm hurting every time. Maybe I should say something about it next time? Ugh, I'm just so sick of all the hate. We're all just people at the end of the day. Looking to fit in, to be accepted on a social level, to love and be loved. Funny you mentioned writing a letter. That's actually how I initially came out to them, and I've been writing them letters about stuff close to the heart since I could write. But there was a huge fight last night over something unrelated and I don't want to stir even more and cause another fight. My sexuality was brought up during the fight too, so at least they're aware of it. But still, it hurts that they cannot fully accept who I am
