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I think I'm completely confused (but not really) about sexual orientation

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by RikerPool, Mar 27, 2017.

  1. RikerPool

    Regular Member

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    I'm a 19 year old guy. When I first started masturbating, it would always be to gay porn because that's what would turn me on. I'd always try to watch straight porn but end up focusing more on the guy instead of the girl. Recently now that I've graduated, I've been able to go out and have sex without the fear of being found out via hooks ups online. I've always found the older/younger gay porn to be the hottest and I've been masturbating to it for as long as I can remember. Anyways, I've hooked up with two older guys and have not been able to climax, let alone get and actually keep an erection longer than 10 seconds but when I watch gay porn I have no problems. This is where it gets interesting: I've only ever thought of being romantically involved with females. I watch girls walk by, think about having sex with them and its hot. I think about falling in love with them and starting a family and growing old with the woman of my dreams. I've gone on dates with girls and have had girlfriends with whom things have gotten heated up and I get a full on erection but I've never went all the way and had sex with a girl. I guess I'm confused because I only watch gay porn and I find it incredibly hot but I'm physically attracted to girls and really I just need help lol.
     
  2. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

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    Sexual Orientation:
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    First, generally, porn isn't a reliable indicator. That said, though, the fact that you are always focused on the guys when watching straight porn plus the viewing of gay prom would pretty strongly indicate that you are gay.

    The situation with girls could mean two things: you could be bisexual, or you could have lingering internalized homophobia and at an unconscious level not want to give up the idea that you can have a "normal" hetero marriage.

    Someone may show up and suggest that your romantic attraction is one thing and your sexual attraction is something else. Highly unlikely, as there is no credible evidence that this separation actually exists. From what we know now, it appears that the people making these claims are not yeti fully comfortable accepting their gay identity.

    The difficulty performing may well simply be nervousness. That's quite common, particularly among people still wrestling at some level with self-acceptance.

    One thing that could be helpful is to try masturbating for a week or two without porn. See where your fantasies take you, and whether fantasizing about guys vs girls makes a difference in arousal. This is keying directly to the hardwired, unconscious attraction, and usually gives a clearer picture.

    Feel free to continue discussing this... The more you discuss it the easier it will be for you to clarify in your own mind.