I am a 26 years old guy and after being dumped by couple of girls, I have lost faith in relationships. Though I am not depressed about that but as a result, I am no more sexually attracted towards girls but somewhat romantically attracted towards them. On the other hand, I am now sexually attracted towards guys but do not want to get into relationship with them just have sex with the guys. Thankfully, I found this website where I hope I can get some suggestions, clarifications, opinions, or anything from you guys because I stay in such a country where I cannot openly share my feeling neither with my parents nor friends. Looking forward to hear from you guys on this thread.
I know this feels confusing and weird. I experienced almost the same thing with what you are feeling right now but in my younger years. But my sexual attraction to guys expanded to the possibility that I could be romantically involved with guys, because I realized and Ive seen that it could exist between men, i thought it never did or rare. I develop crushes and attraction to women, but later realized it was just at the realm of admiration. Maybe hypothetically let me ask these ff. guide questions that might help: 1. Are you aware that romantic relationships like true love actually exist between guys? 2. Do you believe that actually it exists? 3. Have you physically admired a guy ever? like a crush nothing sexual? 4. Do you see this the same way with girls? 5. Are you feeling so much rejection because of past failed relationships? 6. Have you completely moved on from those relationships? Like happy that you are single? 7. Do you think your feeling of rejection has clouded enough your ability to find hope that one day you would meet a girl in a successful loving relationship? Sometimes when we are in too much pain, depressed, and very lonely, we do things we normally do not do to make ourselves better. And we usually end up in a convoluted and complicated situation - where we even question the very core of our identity and our values. Am I gay? Am I a slut? Am I a cheater? Am I a drug or porn addict? Those are the usual questions people ask because usually drugs and sex are the most common cure to our illness, they bring us to heaven as fast as it brings us back to the very floor of the earth. The key is to distance yourself from this madness. Learn to be alone. Find solace in solitude in communal with nature, for it is when we are in our own thoughts that the way becomes clearer. I hope you find yourself.
Welcome to EC! I'm not sure what to advise you unfortunately. Are you looking for suggestions for a label (If labels are important to you) or advice on what's going on with you? Are you looking for people who are going through the same thing?
Usually those who are "not emotionally attracted" to the same-sex come out later as gay (I'm not sure I buy the whole romantic/sexual split). You see this a lot in "straight" guys who won't kiss or make eye contact with another, or take the top position. It's an attempt to distance themselves.
