I need to be less boring

I completely empathize with you as the same thing happens to me. I'm terrible at small talk too...it just seems too awkward and feels like it never goes anywhere.

It sucks feeling like you have no one to talk to though, doesn't it?

 

I'm so sorry to hear this. I'll be your friend. On this forum, you won't be forgotten. I can relate. I'm going to try to keep this short. But I've had a difficult time trying to develop a social life. At my community college, I try to develop a social life to no avail. I signed up for a few clubs and I've yet to make any new friends. It's a long story to explain.

I only have online friends to talk to. I guess that fills in the loneliness. So don't feel alone. Your not the only one going through it by myself.

 

Likewise. Feel like only I can interest me, and I don't seem to have interests anyone else "get". I find it extremely difficult to socialize/small talk. I literally have 1, maybe 2 friends.

But, there are people online, not to mention better to be among yourself and be happy than be among people who won't accept you.

Peace.

 

I'm similar, I suppose, though my problem is social anxiety and trust issues. Just last week, I attended a protest/rally, and at least half a dozen people approached me (some old friends and acquaintances, others new). The only problem was knowing what to say and keeping the conversation(s) going! But I suppose I must be doing something right, just by attending events after being invited, and not turning people away (consciously).

A part of it involves stepping out of your comfort zone. Feel uncomfortable? Good! Nothing changes if we stick with the same routine(s). Compare it with losing weight. For me, questions are a godsend. People ask, and I answer. It gets easier with time and practice. Of course, if they catch my interest, I'll do the same. Gossip and weather don't interest me much.

I was taken by surprise that so many of my older friends saw me as a confidante, since it took so little effort on my part. I've no malicious intents, and tend to give honest answers. People can sense intentions. If you keep reaching out, you'll at least get momentary satisfaction, and chances are, you'll have some success! Naturally, your methods will improve, and you'll learn what works and what doesn't.

 

I agree with what's been said on here so far. I am somewhat similar with meeting new people so I decided to do something completely different! I started voluntary training to become a befriender (very ironic!) a few months ago. There were about 11 people in the group. I never feel entirely comfortable meeting so many new people and in the first session I was really anxious. I spent the time looking around and not saying anything.

When I went the next week I decided to address my nervousness by just being as calm as possible. That really helped because I felt more comfortable. By the next week I started talking to people in the group and was surprised at how much relevant stuff I had to say!

Now that I've finished the course I feel so much more confident. I think one of the best things to do would be to start small. Whenever your in a situation where you meet people, just start with small talk. And then as you get more comfortable, you can build your way up. And the biggest bits of advice are:
1). Try to push yourself out of your comfort zone as much as you can. That way you can see what you really can do
2). Even if things don't go the way you may want them to, don't worry. You tried your best and that's more than good enough

 

That's one good thing about getting older. Maybe you will be just as boring (I'm sure I am) but you won't care and can talk to anyone. I've been through more BS than what you would believe. So talking to people? That's easy now.

 

Haha there really is :lol: it is simpler than it sounds but quite fun!! And I guess another way to go about it is for you to initiate conversation and talk about some things that you like. That way you'll feel more relaxed talking about something your familiar with. Then eventually the more you talk to people, the more you'll have confidence knowing what to say

 

dude you literally put what I've thought for probably forever into words. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here!

 

I can definitely empathize with you on this -- right now I feel like the least interesting person in the world. It's been a long time since I've had a significant number of friends, but I used to at least be able to have amazing, long, and deep conversations with the ones I had. Now I'm lucky if a conversation lasts more than ten minutes or so, even if the person in question is someone I genuinely want to talk to.

This is also one of those rare issues where awareness makes the problem worst, at least for me. Once I can tell the other person is struggling to find someone with talking about with me I kind of freeze up and draw a total blank. It really sucks because I think I'm capable of being an engaging person and having worthwhile conversations at times, but overall I think I'm just too uninteresting, predictable, and repetitive to keep anyone's attention long-term. It's an awful feeling because I know I'm losing people and I know there's nothing I can do to stop it.

 

I have a feeling most people will disagree with me on this, but I honestly don't think a lot of common interests are essential in being able to connect with another person. If something like Game of Thrones doesn't interest you, don't watch it. It can be fun to talk about casual stuff, but most conversations about things like that will end up being little more than small talk anyways.

Unfortunately for me, I think self-confidence is one of the biggest factors in being able to hold meaningful conversations. When you don't have it I think it just projects very negatively and makes it seem not worthwhile.

 

I talk about studies like 80% of the time ._.
It's hard for me to get an interest in someone, and harder to feign interest in them. And I really don't want to sustain the effort to get to know someone. Such hard work! And because I live in a foreign land, topics such as "Where are you from?" or "How do say you say X in Y language?" bore me.

 

I talk about studies like 80% of the time ._.
It's hard for me to get an interest in someone, and harder to feign interest in them. And I really don't want to sustain the effort to get to know someone. Such hard work! And because I live in a foreign land, topics such as "Where are you from?" or "How do say you say X in Y language?" bore me.