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Old 16th Apr 2017, 08:08 AM   #1
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Dating

Hey all,

I was wondering how has your guys's luck been when dating in the gay community. I am 17 and would describe myself as fitting into the bear/cub tribe. I really don't get much other than guys messaging and then stopping replying after a bit.

I mean, I am not attractive but I would say that I make up for it with my personality. It gets damn lonely, especially because I can't come out to my family either so I am kinda on my own. Plus, I just wanna see what it feels like to actually be in love for once and have someone like me.
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Old 16th Apr 2017, 07:50 PM   #2
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Re: Dating

I feel the same way. Im about as terrible looking as a 22 year old can be, Not to mention Im aspergers and adhd, which basically means im crazy.

Its a nearly impossible combination to live with, let alone the other mental baggage i carry.

Ive basically given up on having ordinary friends, let alone dating.
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Old 17th Apr 2017, 01:03 AM   #3
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Re: Dating

In my experience, I've found that the best things happen when you least expect them.
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Old 17th Apr 2017, 10:13 AM   #4
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Re: Dating

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rms Mongrel View Post
I feel the same way. Im about as terrible looking as a 22 year old can be, Not to mention Im aspergers and adhd, which basically means im crazy.

Its a nearly impossible combination to live with, let alone the other mental baggage i carry.

Ive basically given up on having ordinary friends, let alone dating.
I feel you on that one. I have depression and anxiety so I have a lot of mental baggage too along with my severly low self esteem.

Life is different for us, for some it is an isolating experience and for some it is bliss

---------- Post added 17th Apr 2017 at 06:14 PM ----------

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Originally Posted by KnucklesNation View Post
In my experience, I've found that the best things happen when you least expect them.
I found that to be not very true, not in my experience anyway. I have found that good things are rare and don't happen to all.
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Old 18th Apr 2017, 09:51 PM   #5
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Re: Dating

I have had 0 girlfriends
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Old 18th Apr 2017, 09:59 PM   #6
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Re: Dating

I'm always single like a pringle! I thought by now I would have found myself a man but at last nope it's just me.
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Old 19th Apr 2017, 04:41 AM   #7
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Re: Dating

I had a boyfriend and a heartbreak once. I don't know if I will be in a relationship again, so I indulge in fanfiction. Guess I am single as pringles, with sour cream & onion flavor
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Old 19th Apr 2017, 11:08 AM   #8
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Re: Dating

To be very damn honest with everypony, I don't EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN with dating. I'd like to start at least meeting girls and go on dates. But I don't even know where to begin. I'm a lesbian and i have t even dated a girl. Sad right? Unless anypony has any ideas. And I'm leery/Not ready for online dating.
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Old 20th Apr 2017, 05:49 AM   #9
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Re: Dating

When I was as young as the OP I was dating girls so I may not have a lot to say about the process as a younger person, but once I came out after university (OMG I wish I had done it earlier) I made up for lost time. And frankly I had a wonderful time of it. I actively dated for about five years and to be honest... it was wonderful, and not just because it brought me to my husband (we've been together for 19 years). There were lots of sweet guys and kisses under the stoop. There were guys who sent flowers, guys who wrote me poetry, laying around all day reading one guy's comic book collection, the guy who sheepishly brought out the play he'd written. There were movies and dinners and ballgames, the guy who messengered me a care package when I was sick with the flu and he couldn't get out of the office and the guy who spent all day baking the saddest looking cake for my birthday.

And through it all there were my gay friends and we sort of saw each other through it all. There was some heartbreak but we made it through--principally with a lot of dancing, oh and brunch, so much brunch. And over the years we all sort of coupled up and moved out of the 'hood and now most of us are married. And we're more likely to have brunch together than we are to go out dancing but still from time to time dancing happens... And I can't even think of it all without smiling. I dated a lot of guys and in one sense only one of them "took". But in another sense they were all wonderful, so much fun and excitement and so many wonderful people, some of them still friends, some of them just fond memories.

So in my experience dating "in the gay community" was wonderful. I would suggest it to anyone. Date early. Date often. Date to meet great people and have wonderful experiences. Try not to date with other goals. And while you're at it do other things to meet great people and have great experiences, because you're going t need a lot of great friends to make it through...
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Old 20th Apr 2017, 06:28 PM   #10
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Re: Dating

I mean, I've had a couple girlfriends before I really realized that I'm gay. I guess that doesn't count; so I've never been in a relationship. It's really frustrating and a little funny that apparently I give off a "straight vibe" and I still have girls lead me on or ask me out. Like, if I can't seem the part, no one will ever know that I'm available and I don't want to be that annoying person who constantly boasts their sexuality.
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Old 20th Apr 2017, 07:35 PM   #11
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Re: Dating

Dating can be rough sometimes and you may have to fish through some weirdos but it's worth it when you find someone who makes you happy. I know how it can feel when you think there is no one out there for you, but I promise there is. Try your best to not be discouraged.
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Old 21st Apr 2017, 04:06 AM   #12
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Re: Dating

Dating sucks in the gay community.

Sorry. Recent breakup. Bitter.
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Old 21st Apr 2017, 04:21 AM   #13
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Re: Dating

Quote:
Originally Posted by Andrew99 View Post
I'm always single like a pringle! I thought by now I would have found myself a man but at last nope it's just me.
Same. I've only had one person want to be in a relationship with me, and they dumped me for no reason after a week. I never even had a first grade boyfriend.. I think that dating and stuff must be harder for gay guys because there aren't many visible men in everyday life. Also, straight girls I think are more willing to experiment.
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Old 21st Apr 2017, 06:54 AM   #14
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Re: Dating

I have been in a relationship with a guy before. It was an online relationship and only lasted close to two months, but I think it was a lovely experience. He made me more confident in myself and made "life" something I actually enjoyed. It was amazing being so close to someone and caring about someone so much, which means it also hurt a lot when it ended.

Still, I think dating someone or simply having a very close friendship with someone is a really beautiful feeling. I would love to experience it again, and I really hope you get a chance to.
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Old 21st Apr 2017, 11:38 PM   #15
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Re: Dating

The guys who like me, I don't like back. And the guys I like, don't like me back. Oh well I like to still believe that there is someone out there for me.
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Old 22nd Apr 2017, 12:11 AM   #16
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Re: Dating

I'd say I did pretty well with dating. I mean I got out of my comfort zone, put myself out there, and found myself a great guy.
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Old 22nd Apr 2017, 02:33 AM   #17
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Re: Dating

When I was younger (like two years ago lol) and thought I was a gay guy, dating was fun but it wore me down. Guys I really felt connections with let me down and guys I wasn't as interested in stuck around and we ended up becoming good friends... I found that I wasn't ready for commitment so friends and fb's were cool and good enough for me lol

But now as a Transwoman? It's a nightmare. Maybe I'm looking in the wrong places or maybe I'm giving off the wrong signals but the straight men after me are 99.9% complete douchebags who see me as some sort of fetish or "experiment". They try to lull you with empty promises and sweet nothings then after talking and enjoying their company BAM. Sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex..... All their neanderthal brains seem to see, want and expect. I mean don't get me wrong, I like some fun now and then but all the time? No, it loses it's appeal and I've found that emotional connections with people are much more gratifying than hooking up with attractive guys.

Oh and Women aren't really interested in me lol...
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Old 23rd Apr 2017, 08:13 AM   #18
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Re: Dating

Quote:
Originally Posted by Assassin'sKat View Post
I have had 0 girlfriends
I have had zero boyfriends so I feel you on that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Andrew99 View Post
I'm always single like a pringle! I thought by now I would have found myself a man but at last nope it's just me.
Me too. I mean, I think I am kind and a caring person but guys don't see that in me. Sucks ass. TBH it's just me and my hand lol

Quote:
Originally Posted by SaltyLemon View Post
I had a boyfriend and a heartbreak once. I don't know if I will be in a relationship again, so I indulge in fanfiction. Guess I am single as pringles, with sour cream & onion flavor
I would definitely want a BF, even after a heartbreak, it just tells me that this guy won't be the one

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joey Dash View Post
To be very damn honest with everypony, I don't EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN with dating. I'd like to start at least meeting girls and go on dates. But I don't even know where to begin. I'm a lesbian and i have t even dated a girl. Sad right? Unless anypony has any ideas. And I'm leery/Not ready for online dating.
Same here omg. When straight people want to date it's like the whole world is their dating pool but for gay people it's like "Oh yeah, you have to go and ask a Arc Angel and then the Angel will contact God and then God will get back to you in 5-9 working days". I'm sorry, I didn't realise that there was more difficulties in life when trying to find a person to love. I am ready for online dating, just guys don't wanna date me.
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Old 23rd Apr 2017, 08:17 AM   #19
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Re: Dating

I'm a woman but I find it impossible to find anyone. Not to mention that the dating pool is crowded with experimental straight girls. Ugh.
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Old 23rd Apr 2017, 08:33 AM   #20
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Re: Dating

Quote:
Originally Posted by OGS View Post
When I was as young as the OP I was dating girls so I may not have a lot to say about the process as a younger person, but once I came out after university (OMG I wish I had done it earlier) I made up for lost time. And frankly I had a wonderful time of it. I actively dated for about five years and to be honest... it was wonderful, and not just because it brought me to my husband (we've been together for 19 years). There were lots of sweet guys and kisses under the stoop. There were guys who sent flowers, guys who wrote me poetry, laying around all day reading one guy's comic book collection, the guy who sheepishly brought out the play he'd written. There were movies and dinners and ballgames, the guy who messengered me a care package when I was sick with the flu and he couldn't get out of the office and the guy who spent all day baking the saddest looking cake for my birthday.

And through it all there were my gay friends and we sort of saw each other through it all. There was some heartbreak but we made it through--principally with a lot of dancing, oh and brunch, so much brunch. And over the years we all sort of coupled up and moved out of the 'hood and now most of us are married. And we're more likely to have brunch together than we are to go out dancing but still from time to time dancing happens... And I can't even think of it all without smiling. I dated a lot of guys and in one sense only one of them "took". But in another sense they were all wonderful, so much fun and excitement and so many wonderful people, some of them still friends, some of them just fond memories.

So in my experience dating "in the gay community" was wonderful. I would suggest it to anyone. Date early. Date often. Date to meet great people and have wonderful experiences. Try not to date with other goals. And while you're at it do other things to meet great people and have great experiences, because you're going t need a lot of great friends to make it through...
I wish my experience was like yours. Mine is kinda in that stage where I am thinking if guys like me and if I am good enough. The only experience close to dating I have had is a guy on ****** or S***** asking me if I'm 'ready to fuck'. Other than that, I have had a lot of fear and insecurity of how guys may see me, especially because I don't have that super muscular body that makes me look like I have enough time in the week to go to the gym. Plus, my religion and family kinda add to that 'ew' factor that I think guys see about me. I think when you were dating, it was so much simpler and nicer then now gay men rarely find a long term boyfriend that becomes a husband, most of the time gay men end up getting dumped, cheated on or cheat which makes me sad sometimes seeing how lonely it can be in the gay community.

I actually have no gay friends. I am that 'gay friend' which people have and man do I ever wish I was straight. Having a gay friend would mean a lot to me, it would be someone I could come close to and just have someone to sympathise with, just seems like no matter how hard I am trying, none of it is going well.

It's really isolating for me and so many other gay men out there. I guess this is why our suicide rate is so high.

Quote:
Originally Posted by gaynonsense View Post
I mean, I've had a couple girlfriends before I really realized that I'm gay. I guess that doesn't count; so I've never been in a relationship. It's really frustrating and a little funny that apparently I give off a "straight vibe" and I still have girls lead me on or ask me out. Like, if I can't seem the part, no one will ever know that I'm available and I don't want to be that annoying person who constantly boasts their sexuality.
I mean, if girls are fooled by you then why aren't guys? Are there many gay guys in school/College? For me anyway, I give the gay vibe off which I hate and then on top of that there are no gay guys in my College. Like, are we extinct or something?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mlpguy88 View Post
Dating can be rough sometimes and you may have to fish through some weirdos but it's worth it when you find someone who makes you happy. I know how it can feel when you think there is no one out there for you, but I promise there is. Try your best to not be discouraged.
It's like nobody wants to date me. The men I like often don't even know I exist. Honestly, at this rate I think I'm gonna die alone

Quote:
Originally Posted by Austin View Post
Dating sucks in the gay community.

Sorry. Recent breakup. Bitter.
I guess it does. Bet straight dating is so much simpler

Quote:
Originally Posted by g robs View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Andrew99 View Post
I'm always single like a pringle! I thought by now I would have found myself a man but at last nope it's just me.
Same. I've only had one person want to be in a relationship with me, and they dumped me for no reason after a week. I never even had a first grade boyfriend.. I think that dating and stuff must be harder for gay guys because there aren't many visible men in everyday life. Also, straight girls I think are more willing to experiment.
LOL I think gay guys just don't like me. Never had a BF or a guy interested in dating me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kirua View Post
I have been in a relationship with a guy before. It was an online relationship and only lasted close to two months, but I think it was a lovely experience. He made me more confident in myself and made "life" something I actually enjoyed. It was amazing being so close to someone and caring about someone so much, which means it also hurt a lot when it ended.

Still, I think dating someone or simply having a very close friendship with someone is a really beautiful feeling. I would love to experience it again, and I really hope you get a chance to.
I think I will never have a chance to, just dating and the whole thing of dating guys is so difficult. I just wish I was one of those gay men that attracted gay men without having to think about it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Andrew99 View Post
The guys who like me, I don't like back. And the guys I like, don't like me back. Oh well I like to still believe that there is someone out there for me.
Same here, I like muscle bears but they like twinks. I would say the same but even twinks don't like me so :/

Quote:
Originally Posted by GoinStag View Post
I'd say I did pretty well with dating. I mean I got out of my comfort zone, put myself out there, and found myself a great guy.
I just have the feeling that nobody wants to be my guy. Like damn, I would treat my guy like a king and protect him so much but I guess guys would rather have a man with a perfect body and a big dick

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rainbows~Exist View Post
When I was younger (like two years ago lol) and thought I was a gay guy, dating was fun but it wore me down. Guys I really felt connections with let me down and guys I wasn't as interested in stuck around and we ended up becoming good friends... I found that I wasn't ready for commitment so friends and fb's were cool and good enough for me lol

But now as a Transwoman? It's a nightmare. Maybe I'm looking in the wrong places or maybe I'm giving off the wrong signals but the straight men after me are 99.9% complete douchebags who see me as some sort of fetish or "experiment". They try to lull you with empty promises and sweet nothings then after talking and enjoying their company BAM. Sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex..... All their neanderthal brains seem to see, want and expect. I mean don't get me wrong, I like some fun now and then but all the time? No, it loses it's appeal and I've found that emotional connections with people are much more gratifying than hooking up with attractive guys.

Oh and Women aren't really interested in me lol...
It must be difficult. Although I will say is that straight guys just want sex. The only thing on their mind is sex and in all honesty, I think that dating as a straight person would be easier however being trans probably adds to the complexity of the whole thing
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