How are you feeling today?

Hey there. Physically I've had a bad day as I was moving stuff and hurt my back. Mentally and emotionally I've been a bit up and down. I'm trying to learn how to accept the nice things people are saying about me on here while battling my constant negative thoughts.

How's your day going?

 

It's actually been a decent day. I find I have my worst days when I have nothing to distract myself. So I guess I've been distracting myself better today lol

 

Physically...I am doing well. Emotionally...I am not. I was going through a difficult situation and my brother in law had heard about it and contacted me to tell me that he would help me and support me with my problem. However, a couple of days later...he got really drunk and preceded to get in his car intoxicated and took a drive to the other side of town. To make matters worst, he had in his cup holder a full glass of liquor and while driving...he then got on his cell phone to make a call to one of his friends to let him know that he was in the neighborhood. From there...by not paying attention to the street and traffic..he crashed into a car full of people and then totaled his car beyond repair. Someone called the police and he was taken to jail. He also was fired from his job where he worked for over 30 years as a city bus driver. Due to his reckless behavior...I was left in a bind with no support to my problem while he faced lawyer and court fees and bail money to get released from jail and to find out the status of his freedom.

To make matters even worst..his wife..my sister contacted me to tell me that she will step in and support my problem where he was supposed to. When I declined her offer..she insisted that I let her do so. A week has passed and she has not breathed a word as to where things lie with her supporting me. My main problem is that I hate when someone offers to do something or to assist me with something and then leave me hanging with broken promises when the fact of the matter is that they did not have to volunteer if they were not able to help me out and leave me hanging with no follow ups or explanations.

 

Physically, I'm okay. My joint pain has been calming down, as have my eye spasms. It has been freaking me out a bit, but it could be worse. My dysphoria has been creeping up on me more, which hasn't been the most fun.

Emotionally, I'm alright...I think. I'm starting to worry if one of my friendships will start to crumble soon. It's silly, but they recently became a born again Christian and that has me feeling awkward. She's super accepting of me being trans, which rocks. However, I worry that my own philosophy and outlook will cause a ripple with our connection. I don't want to relive my junior year of high school when I got outed as a Satanist and it didn't end well for me.

 

Today was pretty great! Its amazing how great you can be doing and then suddenly you think of something sad and its gone...

 

Alright.

I have accomplished quite a lot already today, but I feel on edge or as if I'm not doing enough anyhow. I'm under a lot of pressure to find employment so I can afford college this fall.

 

Pretty decent. I just got done doing some tedious homework so I'm still mildly annoyed but on the bright side, I was officially elected to be the treasurer for my University's GSA.

 

Despite everything that's happened, and the day I had yesterday, today has been pretty good.

 

Like a failure, told myself I'd come out to either my mom or my trans friend, L. But other than that, not too bad really.

 

Been feeling lonely lately

 

I agree with you.. Today, I am feeling good physically and emotionally. I believe when you feel good, you look good!
There are time when you just woke up, you really had bad feelings the entire day. To feel relieved, I will just listen any praise and worship song and I feel some lightness within.

 

Pretty peppy for having worked from 5 am to 8 pm today, actually


but we'll see how I am after working the same hours tomorrow

 

Having just got off work I'm happy!

 

welp, dead tired - but I'm happy about how much we accomplished as a staff today!

 

I'm feeling okay at this moment. Things could be a lot better. I still feel lost in life but I want to change that soon. I got a second phone replacement which I hate. But. Guess I can tolerate it. I hope to get a summer job this summer. I hope that I can buy some stuff with the money that I make, hopefully. The weather in Maryland is rainy and cloudy. But that might change soon. Overall, things suck but they're still decent.

 

I haven't been getting as much sleep as I should... less than 6 hours a night. Its been a rough week but at least the weekend is coming up

 

Can't wait for the next two weeks to be over but I'm making it.