I recently fell in love heads over heals with a Snr Manager in my company. We are 20+ years apart and he's married with 2 young kids. He is a white Turkish male in his midlife, balding,with a little extra weight but very well groomed. Aside from an appealing physic, he's charming, kind, accommodating and offer up a lot of assistance. There's a certain charm in a man with such a distinctive character (OCD, impatient and at the same time caring). If you are thinking that this is a sugar daddy thing, well it is not. I secretly paid for his dinner. Sincerely, I want nothing more than for him to be happy and successful in life. Recently, he bought me a ticket to spend time with him in a neighboring country for a few days where he will be running a workshop there. We will be there to also check out a sailing course that he is interested in. To my delight, I said yes immediately. We will be sharing the same hotel room and he mentioned that we can have drinks together in the room. I could not help but hope and think that he is interested in me the same way I am for him. How can I confirm my thinking and find out? On the outwards, he seems straight and manly. But he would also text me every now and then during work hours to have coffee and see him. Is this whole experience just a normal Turkish male interaction? I am really not thinking about the very remote possibility of a long term relationship, and I just want to have a good time with this man. I adore him very much and wish we could just spend a night together, but I do not know if he feels the same way I do. Please share your advice.
This is a terrible idea, for a whole bunch of reasons. First, the age difference. Second, the fact that this is a person in management in your company. Third, that he is already married to someone else. This would be completely wrong on so many levels. I understand the infatuation, but please just see it for what it is, and don't take action. You could damage your employment prospects, his level of respect for, and trust in, you, and even if he is interested, you'd be totally screwing over his wife and family. All of that is incredibly self-centered.
Yeah, I would say to not make advancements since he's married, and the other reasons that Chip mentioned. It's not a good idea.
I'm attracted to older women (20+years) so, I definitely feel you there. The fact that he's married and has kids is something you should really be reconsidering. It wouldn't be right to have an affair with a married man. It wouldn't be fair to his wife and to his children, should they get a divorce. I don't know Turkish culture well. I know that it some foreign cultures, men can be very affectionate with other men with strictly platonic intentions. Is he Muslim? Homosexuality is forbidden in Islam. However, Turkey used to be fairly liberal from my understanding. Just be careful and make sure you're reading the signs correctly. This could cost you your job and your friendship.
Hi Thanks for the advice. Of course, I wouldn't want this to affect his family. I want nothing but the best for him in life (family and career). From what I can tell, he cares about them a lot especially his two kids. There is something so sexy about this man that he is so caring for the people around him and at the same time very assertive and has a temper. Of course, I am being very selfish here for thinking if I could just maintain a casual relationship with this man and secretly adore him. But his behavior is confusing me. He would text to check out on me every day at work and would insist of having short coffee break with him in between work hours. Sometimes, when I ask him out for dinner, and even if he could not make it, he would insist of seeing me before he leaves. Today, after coffee session, he gave a me strong hug around my side arm. I must admit, it feels really good and I am aroused. Day by day, he got a little more touchy with me and I can't help but think that he actually likes me, but he has never communicated that to me in anyhow. So, then again, this may be just a Turkish thing. But the truth is, I think I will feel extremely heartbroken if I find out that he treats everyone else the same way. I'm being selfish here, but I hope I am special to him even though he might not be interested in me sexually.
