Talking to a friend about experiences of therapy, we both hate going, what are y'alls thoughts of going?
Well, I have gone to many therapists in my life and I believe it depends a lot on the professional. The first psychologist I went to didn't understand me at all and made weird sad faces when I told her stuff. It may seem a really small thing, but it made me uncomfortable and sad myself, like I suddenly realized everything I was telling her was actually pretty sad. Not useful, really. My current psychologist, tho, is really helpful and nice! She actually helped figure out I liked girls instead of boys (I was was in a huge denial) and she just makes me feel happier and relieved every time I go see her. Bottom line, I think therapy can be a really great tool to feel better and getting to know yourself more, but only if the therapist is right for you (because I don't think it's a deal of them being good or bad, just that they are the right fit for what you need on the moment), so if you don't feel comfortable in therapy, maybe you should look for another professional. Also, I know opening up can be scary and weird, but when you find the right professional it's way easier and it can really help you fix some issues. Now, that sounded like I was giving you tips to chose a couple xD it's kinda similar, in a way(? ---------- Post added 5th May 2017 at 07:29 AM ---------- Well, I have gone to many therapists in my life and I believe it depends a lot on the professional. The first psychologist I went to didn't understand me at all and made weird sad faces when I told her stuff. It may seem a really small thing, but it made me uncomfortable and sad myself, like I suddenly realized everything I was telling her was actually pretty sad. Not useful, really. My current psychologist, tho, is really helpful and nice! She actually helped figure out I liked girls instead of boys (I was was in a huge denial) and she just makes me feel happier and relieved every time I go see her. Bottom line, I think therapy can be a really great tool to feel better and getting to know yourself more, but only if the therapist is right for you (because I don't think it's a deal of them being good or bad, just that they are the right fit for what you need on the moment), so if you don't feel comfortable in therapy, maybe you should look for another professional. Also, I know opening up can be scary and weird, but when you find the right professional it's way easier and it can really help you fix some issues. Now, that sounded like I was giving you tips to chose a couple xD it's kinda similar, in a way(?
I don't like it, because these people aren't friends or anything, so they don't know you, so how can they help you? And they also get paid for what they do, so how do you know they're doing it because they really care? That's my take. I just talk to myself usually. It helps the anxiety, if not the feeling of isolation, like there's nobody else in the world like you. But, then, I have these boards, and realize there are people like me
Therapy is great if you have a good one working with you. I've had some shitty therapists, one contributing to me being hospitalized against my consent. But the ones who genuinely listened to my case and made sure I felt safe made things a hell of a lot more bearable.
I've heard quite a few stories about shitty therapists. Although mine is decent or good, I honestly can't say I've ever felt alright leaving an appointment. Maybe it's my "issues" don't really have a fix. Or because I've repressed so much that it feels worse to talk about it then trying not to think about it. But even though I don't like it, I think it is important for me to learn how to talk about myself and my emotions. And therapy is helping with that.
It's a farce. I went to multiple throughout middle and high school because of insane rage issues. None helped. Haven't gone to one since HS and I'm not bothering with them. There's no point in me going and wasting an hour of my day to go and talk to some random person who doesn't know me and can't help me.
I went to a couple therapy appointments, but I stopped going because I felt awkward telling all that personal stuff to some stranger, and I'm not sure I really clicked with the therapist either. I know therapy works great for some people, but I don't think it's really for me.
Therapy isn't a farce, and therapy (good therapy) isn't anything like talking to a friend. There are, in fact, a lot of crappy therapists. And that is what gives the field a bad name. But when you find a skilled one, they are amazing and life changing. The role of a good therapist is to give you a more objective view on your experiences, help you see where your distortions are, understand how your experiences have affected you, and help you to better understand and address the world. Some situations are more complicated and difficult to address than others, and those of you that have not had success have probably not had the opportunity to work with someone well matched in temperament and talent to your needs. Finally, with good therapy, you often won't walk out of a given session feeling better, because the goal of good therapy is to help you understand yourself and function better... And that sometimes requires uncovering and reflecting on difficult topics. Yet the end result, if you have a good therapist, is significant improvement in happiness and ability to function in the world.
(Warning: psych major will probably leak out a little here. ) Therapists have a very broad range of training and experience. Most states don't regulate the term "therapist". If you are seeing a marriage and family therapy counselor or someone with a master's in counseling or an MSW (masters in social work) you're seeing someone who has master's degree level training. If you are seeing a PhD or a PsyD it is someone who has had 5-6 years of additional schooling and had to do a massive research project/literature review for their degree in addition to the schooling. If you are seeing a psychotherapist it means they have had some specialized training, but it doesn't mean really anything else. And therapist can mean they trained themselves or got a certificate online. And if you are suffering from moderate to severe depression or anxiety, or anything like bipolar, PTSD, etc., you really do need to see a psychiatrist or a psychiatric nurse practioner to discuss your medication options. No one likes to take medication, but no one likes to be miserable either. I can say that all the therapy in the world didn't make a dent until my meds got things more under control. You just don't hear people the same way, you can't think constructively. And just because you have reasons to be depressed doesn't mean you should be depressed or that medication won't help you. If you have a cold that lead to bacterial bronchitis is it less of a problem then the person who had asthma and got bacterial bronchitis? Both of you need to deal with the problem you have in front of you, no matter how it got there. I've been in therapy off and on since I was in sixth grade. I have bipolar disorder, and it was probably childhood onset (after puberty). And in my experience: A counselor who just listens to you and doesn't give you any practical suggestions (suggesting breathing exercises, community groups that might help you, journaling- that kind of thing) isn't really helpful. You need to learn what to do about your problems, not just how to feel, and the two are intertwined anyways. Sometimes I think therapists stay too much in the head. If you feel you have to defend yourself all the time; if your therapist's way of challenging you is to critique you, question beliefs that you have let them know aren't up for (like religion, family size, etc.), or always take the devil's advocate, that is just going to put you on edge. Not that there isn't a place for it, but as a general rule, therapy should be a safe place. If you just don't mesh, you don't. I had a therapist who just didn't fit with me style wise. I always left crying because I felt like a huge failure. But he was keeping track with screening tests on how my depression was responding and after six weeks he sat me down and told me that he felt he was making me worse (and yes, that can happen). He said either the method wasn't what I needed right then or that we just weren't a good match. He gave me about six other options for counseling, offered to call and get me set up (I was getting my counseling through our county behavioral health, so any other place my health insurance would cover would have a waiting list), and said he was sorry he hadn't been able to help. And you know what? I still have so much respect for that man. I gave him a great review to his supervisor when they asked. Sometimes people just set each other off. All that being said, I have to admit that this is the first therapist I've ever had that I feel like therapy is having a positive influence in my life. She gives me tangible things to do and follows up on if I've done them. She's educated enough to know what I'm facing as far as my bipolar disorder. She's been a great support with this whole coming out thing; didn't even blink when I told her I was questioning if I was straight or not. She's very LGBTQ friendly even though that's not her "focus area". I can discuss my faith with her. She's had community resources to give me. For me, that's what I need.
I think it's important to understand that therapy isn't easy or painless, in actual fact, it can be incredibly challenging and may take a lot out of you. You shouldn't go into therapy expecting an easy ride or a weekly chat about yourself. In therapy you will discuss some very deep and personal issues, so you shouldn't settle for the first therapist you meet and you should always check their credentials. Are they registered? Do they work to a code of ethics? Do they have a track record? If the answer to any of these questions is no, you should avoid them. The initial session/s will be (or should be) a getting to know each other process really. The therapist should ask themselves if they can really help and you should be asking yourself the same question and if you can work with them... because it will require some self work. Therapy isn't quackery. It has the potential to change your life if you fully commit to the process and work with someone who knows their stuff. One of the biggest barriers to success is a lack of effort on the part of the client and stigma.
Lot of good info, but a lot of misconceptions in the above post. First, the difference between masters and doctoral level training is not a reliable predictor of who is or isn't a good therapist. Many doctoral programs are more research and theoretically oriented and their graduates may not have gotten as much training in actually doing therapy as those from a good masters program. In the dozens of post professional trainings I've attended, as well as at various conferences for the field, it's been my experience that the degree has close to zero correlation with the skill and insight of the therapist. It is also a misconception that a doctorate is 5-6 years of additional schooling, or that the schooling has to do with practicing therapy (though the Psy.D. is typically more practice oriented than the Ph.D.) Most doctoral psych programs are 2-3 years at most beyond the masters, and much of that time is spent writing a dissertation, which often has very little to do with actually practicing therapy. Second, it is not the best advice, in my opinion, to say that someone who is experiencing depression should see a psychiatrist first. Few psychiatrists do therapy, and unless they have voluntarily done additional training, most do not have the counseling skills that a therapist does. Psychiatrists are medical doctors trained in medical treatment of brain disorders. They generally are in the business of prescribing medications, which in many cases should not be the first choice for treatment of depression, anxiety, and many other mental health issues. Far better to see a therapist and be evaluated and then discuss whether medication is the best choice. The interaction between thought disorders and brain biochemistry is a complex one and simply altering brain biochemistry with medication often does not serve the client's best interest. Of course, for some clients, medication (temporary or long term) may be a necessity but for the majority, it may not be. Third, the term 'counselor' , 'psychotherapist', and in most states 'therapist' are regulated and all three require (again, in most states) licensure by the state, which, in turn, generally requires a masters or doctorate in psychology, passing of a comprehensive exam, and graduation from an accredited school. (In some states it also requires the school be accredited by the professional accreditor as well as the scholastic one.). There are many excellent accredited online programs, all of which require in-person internships and supervised clinical practice components. One cannot simply go to a questionable online program 'learn at home', and practice legally in any U.S. state. Social workers, licensed professional counsellors, and marriage family therapists all receive similar training, which, in turn is similar to (and often better than, if the doctorate is research focused) what a doctoral level psychologist's training is. The clinical practice component is often more robust. Clinical social workers, in particular, get very broad training in family and societal dynamics and tend to have a broad societal perspective that often makes them very effective particularly with LGBT clients. A competent therapist will not just listen; I agree that is not an effective psychotherapeutic intervention. However, a competent therapist will not necessarily give 'practical suggestions' and a competent therapist will never give advice; that isn't what their role is. They may offer strategies, but much of the best help comes from insights and ways of understanding and re-interpreting ones thought processes. Good therapy is a highly collaborative experience, and extreme kudos to the therapist who was measuring mood and making a referral when things weren't getting better. I also totally agree that while it is appropriate to challenge distorted thinking patterns, it is completely inappropriate for a therapist to impose their beliefs or opinions, or judge a client, and u fortunately many therapists are guilty of this. So, again, at the end, it is as much about how the individual professional makes use of their training, and their particular approach, and their particular personality and intuitive approach, as it is the training itself, that determines the effectiveness of the therapeutic relationship.
Therapy has been so valuable for me lately. I can't speak to every condition, but for trauma related issues, talk therapy can be really positive..if you let it. Part of it is really finding a good therapist. One who you connect with, and one who has the skill and knowledge to work through your issue, specializes in your specific issue, and impart means of coping outside of therapy. I really believe that trying to live a happy life without therapy for people with mental health issues is like trying to build a house without tools. You can fool around in the mud all day, but you'll just get messy and exhausted. Even with therapy, even with a good therapist, you decide if it works for you or not. You keep a closed mind? Yeah. It's going to be useless. Because a therapist can't heal you. A therapist guides you, and helps you find ways to heal yourself, to cope, and hopefully thrive. But it starts with trust and willingness to get better.
That's true. I never said it was a good predictor of a good therapist, just that there is a difference between a MSW and a PhD. Not necessarily an important difference in terms of the practical "in the field" therapy, but there is a difference. And I agree that in many ways the more "practical oriented" MSW or MFT or what have you may actually be better. Since a master's is approximately 2 years to get, adding 3 years to that would be 5. Why not see a psychiatrist and get evaluated to rule out issues and then see if therapy would be useful? It could work both ways. I did specify moderate to severe anxiety and depression. If you are suffering from severe depression or a severe illness like bipolar, PTSD, etc., the fact is that you will most likely need medication and that has been shown over and over. For example, with bipolar the greatest single predictor of success is if the person is willing to remain on their meds. Someone who is severely, maybe even suicidally depressed quite simply is not going to be able to engage in useful therapy until they're out of crisis mode. It'd be like starting physical therapy right after the accident instead of waiting for the break to mend. And although the combo of meds and therapy is best, in general the more severe the mental illness the more medication outweighs therapy. The problem is, in my opinion, is that we have people over-diagnosing mental illness. Forever you couldn't get a diagnosis and now it seems to have swung the other way. If you go in for a sore throat and your doctor doesn't seen an obvious cause, you're likely to be diagnosed with "depression", offered an antidepressant and told to go to therapy. I can't believe how many people I've heard tell me their PCP diagnosed them with depression and recommended meds, therapy or both, because they lost a job or are having trouble with their kids or what have you. And unfortunately I've seen "physical" doctors use counseling or meds as a way to deal with their cases where the cause isn't necessarily cut-and-dry. Maybe I'm biased by my state, which has very liberal...well, everything, but yes, the terms are not exactly regulated in most states. I can put an ad in the Yellow Pages calling myself a therapist and as long as I don't claim any accreditation I don't have, I'm good. I could be a MSW, or a PsyD, or a hypnotherapist with a degree in sociology, or what have you. Now, if I claim to be a MFT I have to have that degree, but if I keep my terms vague enough I don't really have to have much of anything. It's similar to the midwifery field. Don't get me wrong; I'm not against online education. I'm finishing my bachelor's in a public university's online program. I know the programs can be very rigorous. And I know there are plenty of in-person training programs that are screwy. I know they've shown over and over that a lot of people do better with shorter, more goal oriented therapy. CBT is a good example of this. The old psychoanalytical-indeterminate-years-in-therapy thing is not considered standard practice anymore. Although people with more severe mental illness or severe trauma in their lives may need years of therapy there just doesn't seem to be the evidence for therapy being an open ended proposition, especially since therapy is not risk-free. This is especially true with miler cases of depression or anxiety, the kind of cases where the person wouldn't necessarily be on medication. Very much agree. :eusa_clap
It can vary. I don't have much experience with therapy and counselling, but I do have some. My experience with school counsellors has been fairly negative, but I realise that what happened to me was somewhat a rarity (having my school counsellor run out and leave me unannounced, never to return) so I wouldn't put too much thought into that. There are a few free online therapy services available for young people in the UK, and I have been trying online therapy recently but I've kind of given up on it because it's hard to get a free slot sometimes because it's such a busy website, and there are times where I think that I'm just wasting their time because the things I want to talk about are only minor and it can feel like I'm just taking up space when they could be helping someone who needs their help more, you know? I realise this probably isn't a great mindset, but um yeah. I know a friend who doesn't like therapy either, he goes to a therapist in real life but often avoids sessions because he's socially anxious. But yeah, I think with a decent therapist it can probably be beneficial.
I see a counselor once a month, and she has been a pretty big help. However I went looking for someone who kind of specialized in both anger management and LGBT stuff. Of which both of those problems tie into some depression. The big thing with mental health is how differently every person is when facing the same problem. High blood pressure has a few solid causes, depression however seems to have an endless amount of causes. Making figuring out what works for you harder. Therapy also works better if you want it to work. It's a bit of an exaggeration, but its like quitting smoking, you have to want to quit before any of the resources that can help you quit will work. If you hate it, it won't help no matter how good the person you are seeing is.
Not to nitpick, but you did say 5 additional years, which is why I clarified. Because, as I said above, psychiatrists are specialists in brain disorders, and do not generally have a deep knowledge of psychotherapy. While this isn't always the case, to put it crudely, when you're a hammer, everything looks like a nail... psychiatrists tend to prescribe drugs first. A small number view it as a last resort (which it should be) but most do not. Actually the literature shows quite clearly that PTSD and depression, at least, respond quite well to DBT and CBT (respectively). Bipolar, depending on what kind and the severity of it, may need to be medicated, but as with many mental health conditions, it is often possible to manage it without medication. If you go to a psychiatrist, you're unlikely to be referred to try the less invasive option first, while if you go to a good therapist or social worker, s/he will do an evaluation to assess whether medication, medication + therapy, or therapy alone are likely the best options. I'm a firm believer in the least invasive approach first, and I also am a strong advocate for finding non-drug solutions if practical, as the non-drug solutions tend to be permanent, as they are, over the long term, altering neurochemistry in a way that brings balance, while the drugs are simply artificially altering neurochemistry, which will always require the drug to continue the effect. That is often not true. It depends totally on the situation. Additionally, most antidepressants, especially SSRI and SNRI class drugs, take weeks to work. While I agree that in some cases, drugs may be necessary to manage the acute condition to buy time to be able to do whatever cognitive intervention is appropriate, in many cases they are not necessary. There are two major problems with drug-based treatment: First, it often takes a half-dozen tries or more to find a combination of drug (or multiple drugs) and dosage that actually works. This can take months. Second, many people find the side effects unpleasant or intolerable. Not the same at all. PT right after an accident would cause harm to the torn muscles and ligaments; therapy for some people in crisis is just as effective, and often more effective, than medication alone and sometimes more effective than medication + therapy, especially given the challenges in finding the right combination of medication, given the non-specific effects and varying dose/potency of the drugs. Not an absolute. Sometimes yes, sometimes no. And studies here are often suspect; you have to look carefully at who is funding them. Often it's the company making the medication being evaluated, which tends to skew the reliability of the conclusions. Probably true in general, but there's a lot of nuance there and it depends entirely on what mental illness you're referring to. Schizophrenia, yes. Severe physical or sexual trauma, perhaps not. No disagreement here, especially with ADHD. Therapy for the reasons you describe is absolutely appropriate, and can have a significant effect on improving both outlook (for job hunters) and communication skills (for problems with kids.) I agree there's no reason to medicate for either of those unless something really severe and unusual is going on. Not in Oregon. Chapter 675 in the Oregon Code lists "therapist" as a protected word. "Accreditation" refers to schools or programs, not to people or titles. These people would qualify under the code. These would not; claiming to be a therapist would be a violation of state law. There's no specific MFT degree. It is generally a MA or MS in psychology; the MFT designation is a protected title. There may be a few states where this is true, but the APA, NASW, and the associations for counselors, psychologists and MFTs have generally protected the terms pretty well in just about every state. This is entirely a function of managed care and insurance; it has little to do with practice. It depends entirely on the diagnosis. For some, CBT or REBT is extremely effective. For others, DBT is the treatment of choice. In some cases, specific interventions such as EMDR are highly effective. And for some cases, insight-based therapy, which can be humanistic, psychodynamic, or any of a number or other variants, and tends to be longer term (yes, sometimes years) is the most effective treatment. This is true; therapy should have a goal and purpose in mind, though in many cases, such as complex trauma, the length of time it will take can't be accurately determined in advance, and it tends to take a pretty long time. If you're implying that therapy for mild depression or anxiety isn't risk free, well... I don't think anything is "risk free". But with a competent therapist, the risks (outside of, in the sort term, the client feeling more discomfort as things are brought out) are pretty much nonexistent.
I too was a psych major (now graduated). One of my psych professors (a PhD) outright told his class that the main difference between a PhD therapist and a MA therapist is $20/hr. Good education is very important for therapists, but at a certain point, the skills of the therapist are more important than their education. Writing a PhD dissertation doesn't really make someone a better therapist in the vast majority of cases, which is why PsyDs are becoming more popular. PhDs make more sense when someone want to get into academia or research. There are a lot of issues that make sense to treat, in part, with medication. However, any decent therapist would be able to refer their clients to a psychiatrist if medication may be useful. I'm not sure about the term 'therapist', which is a bit broad, but I'm pretty sure usage of the terms 'counselor' and 'psychotherapist' are regulated in most states. I disagree with the never part. While therapy isn't advice-giving, sometimes giving advice can be helpful to the client. For instance, if a client suffers from an anxiety disorder that is sometimes crippling, saying, "Some people find it helpful in these situations to use relaxation technique. Would you like me to teach you some that are often helpful?" can arguably be a form of advice-giving that's appropriate and beneficial for the client.
I think therapy really depends on the therapist. My first two therapists were complete shit, and neither of them helped me at all (one even flat-out lied to me about confidentiality laws). My current therapist is really good, though. She's pretty understanding and she's actually helping me get through some shit in a healthy way. So it really depends on the therapist and whether or not they're a good match for you.
My list of therapists sounds like some people's list of ex-boyfriends. For me, it's just an hour to purge all the negativity from my mind for that week. I don't really know what other people get out of it.
I could never find a therapist I liked. And I never felt like I accomplished enough to justify the high price tag of a visit.
