Hello, *I'm going to put a warning that if you're highly sensitive to things, be careful when reading* Does anyone know if the following type of therapy exists and what I can search [UK results] in order to get the website(s) on google. Okay, so I have a major fear of being touched, not even by my parents. And I have an ever increasing fear that someone is just going to come up and touch/grab at me - I'm going to university in September and there will be lots of new people. I have more of a fear of my mother and women in general. I get quite violent on myself and frequently angry towards myself at the thought of being touched, especially if I am forced/expected to tolerate them touching me. It's also up to the point that I will never have a relationship or children because of it, but if I got therapy I think I might be able to. The reasons for not liking touched involved childhood physical (and emotional) abuse and hospitalization (not as a result of the abuse), but I won't go into detail. So I was wondering if there is any therapy that allows a person to get eventually being okay accepting touch and being fully comfortable with it? And also allows me to be able to talk about the abuse/hospitalization that happened so I can move on from those events? Thank-you.
I know a lot of people with specific phobias/fears find exposure therapy helpful. Or you could try talking to a cognitive therapist or therapist who specializes in trauma to help with manage or resolve your anxieties. In the meantime, would it help assuage your anxiety if you set some boundaries with your friends and family? I have a similar but milder issue from years of chronic sexual harassment, so my family and friends try to be accommodating. They don't know the reason I dislike being touched, but they've noticed my reaction to people getting too close to me so my friends give me personal space and check with me if I look too nervous and my mom asks/warns me before hugging or kissing me. Maybe you could ask your friends/family to do something similar if they get too touchy.
Yes, absolutely. Most people who have experienced physical and/or sexual abuse have some level of aversion to touch, though what you describe is a stronger aversion than what is typical. Treating trauma and abuse is a subspecialty and you'll need a therapist with extensive experience. There is also a difference between treating male vs female abuse survivors so having one with the right experience will be important. Ideally, you would want a therapist who also works with a bodyworker trained in trauma therapy that can help you work through the physical fears as well as the emotional feelings. Depending on where you live, I might have some resources for you to look into.
My family knows I don't like being touched, so I hand shake them (I'm okay with that, we're not close to each other). It's just my mother gets quite upset when I say "no" to being touched with her. She makes the comment "it's a good thing to be touched, it calms people" which might be scientifically true, but she won't acknowledge that it's not that way for me. She doesn't touch me, but she doesn't approve of me being scared of it, and tries to make me feel guilty for not wanting to be touched by her. I only have one friend right now. She says that "You can't ask people with autism to change themselves as that's intolerant of autistic behavior" so I can't ask her to change herself and not touch me (she's autistic). Not sure if there's another way to phrase "I don't like being touched, please can you not touch me." so she'll stop and not accuse me of being intolerant of her autistic behavior, since it really has nothing to do with her being autistic. So I just let her do it then panic to myself outside of the room and try to calm down, trouble is, she last touched (hugged) me six months ago and I'm still panicking about it and I'm meeting her next week. I'm also going to her house and we're going to a bar, so not sure where I can go that's private to calm down. I think them warning me before hugging would be a good next step if I was able to talk with someone, but right now being warned about it is my cue to leave the area. Thank-you for the words ''exposure'' and ''cognitive'' therapy for me to search, I'll do that now.
