Instead of swearing... - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

**Maddy** · 9th May 2009, 07:12 AM

I didn't realise how weird my vocabulary is until a few minutes ago when I tripped, nearly fell, caught myself, yelled "Jesus H Christ on a tricycle wearing a propellor beanie!" and caused a housemate to snort coffee out her nose laughing. I use a few silly phrases like that, mainly from training myself to not swear around my parents. Does anyone else have weird things they say instead of cursing, or am I just strange?

**Lexington** · 9th May 2009, 07:22 AM

A friend of mine used to say "Jesus Christ on a bike." So another friend, mocking him, started saying "The Virgin Mary on a pogo stick." I still use that from time to time. Other random "swear" words I use:

Foo
Shucky-darns
Darn it all to heck
Bun of a slitch
Well, skin me alive and call me luggage.

The funny thing is - I still swear a lot...

Lex

**Ben** · 9th May 2009, 07:22 AM

Hah oh Maddy!

I do the same actually, I'll rarely actually swear. If I were to trip over like you did I'd most likely say a variant of "oops" or "oh dear".
Then I'll say other things such as "Holy cheese(or any other food)", "oh wowww", "that sucks *insert animal here* ass" etc.

Actually my most common phrase when I was about 10 was "izza zizza" - I'd scream it whenever I got hurt or scared. I still say it on occasion.

**Maddy** · 9th May 2009, 07:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lexington

A friend of mine used to say "Jesus Christ on a bike." So another friend, mocking him, started saying "The Virgin Mary on a pogo stick." I still use that from time to time. Other random "swear" words I use:

Foo
Shucky-darns
Darn it all to heck
Bun of a slitch
Well, skin me alive and call me luggage.

The funny thing is - I still swear a lot...

Lex

I use "Christ on a bike" sometimes too, and then added to it. I was talking with a few people about random crap, and someone said "I saw a guy smoking while riding a bike the other day. I mean, Jesus Christ!". Someone else popped up with "Jesus Christ was smoking while riding a bike through your town?", and from that day on I've used "Christ on a bike smoking a cigarette!"

Bookmarked · 9th May 2009, 07:36 AM

Oh goodness, I end up using any and all of these things. Here's a couple of the most frequently used:

Drat/Darn/Dash
Jesus Harry Christ (Which sometimes evolves to Jesus Hare Krishna, if the mood takes me)
Oh bothery.
Croap (or when I'm feeling particularily cursive "Holy Croap")
Snap
Shiv
Mercy-me!
Buggery (Which may or may not count as a swear)

When I get stressed, or confused, I tend to blurt things out in a confused tangle e.g. "Jesus, buggery croap!"

TayTay · 9th May 2009, 08:12 AM

I say
Sweet Jesus!
GRACE AND MERCY!
FOR CRYING OUT LOUD
BEND ME OVER AND DO ME DRY
LORD HAVE MERCY
And many many more if i think of them i will let you all know!

Mason · 9th May 2009, 08:38 AM

Oh joy. I say waaaaaay too many things to list. Like you, I have been training myself not to curse around my parents. Seeing how my mom acts when my older siblings curse, she'll yell at them, I'll just make up other things. A few:

Friggle Fraggle
Blazes
Goodness Gracious Me
Monkey's Uncle

Cool Beans · 9th May 2009, 08:40 AM

I'm a big fan of "Dagnabbit!" It makes me feel like an old-timey prospector.

GhostDog · 9th May 2009, 08:46 AM

Haha, I use "Sweet Jesus" a lot.

I am naturally rather vulgar at times. I'm trying to curb the habit since I'm working on getting teaching certification... >.>

Lately I've taken to replacing "Son of a bitch" with "Some of it itches!"
Also, if I'm around kids, I sometimes catch myself and go "Shiiiitake mushrooms"

Muttering names at random bad drivers, I'll say things like "DOUCHE WAFFLE" if there is somebody teensy in the car with me. =P Still not the nicest thing to say but it's a lot nicer than what I normally say, haha.

As for the F-bomb, I'll replace it with "friggin'," "freaking", or just "EFF!"

partietraumatic · 9th May 2009, 09:38 AM

in an effort to make myself swear less i started doing it in other lauguges. Its had such a lasting effect that if something frustrates me or i hurt myself or something my first reaction,completely naturally is now 'dios mio'. I also use 'porca madonna' sometimes.

On the english side instead of saying the 'f' word ive become very fond of saying "oh my gosh/goodness/word" it makes me sound very english

Daniel · 9th May 2009, 09:54 AM

Shoot,
Fudgecicles,
Lordy,
Fidel-sticks,
Oh poo-p,
Jesu christe

That's all I think. Otherwise I just let fly.

Just Adam · 9th May 2009, 10:00 AM

i dont have anything practiced i just usually swear followed by a list of random words said angrilly

jazzrawr · 9th May 2009, 10:06 AM

Ahaha, Maddy that's hilarious. XD

I actually swear ALOT in real life - and loudly. For some reason, I can't swear quietly. >.<
It's probably because my parents don't mind my swearing, they don't make me censor it.
I still say interesting variations though;
My best friend says "Mother of shit!" quite often. XD

I also usually say 'feck' instead of fuck, unless I'm trying to make a point.

I've also taken to saying 'Caesar salad...' whenever I get mad.

Or 'Jesus christ caesar salad...'
It started as a joke and continued from there.
I can't think of any more at the present time; I'm sure I'll post them when I say them. XD

MusicIsLife · 9th May 2009, 10:11 AM

I actually swear

i feel a lot of the "aversions" sound dumb. the closest thing i use as in at work when im with a customer or in front of young cousins i use shite and fecking.

Hoppip · 9th May 2009, 11:44 AM

I used to go to Chinese school with my Chinese friend, and she'd always go "Ayahhh!" when she got freaked out, and eventually I accidentally picked it up. To this day, if I get spooked by something, I'll holler "AYAAAH!" in a hardcore Asian voice. xD

I also like the class Wisconsinite "I'm gonna smack the piss outta you." It's got a nice ring to it.

But otherwise, I'm not much of a censor. I swear like a sailor. <3

Edit: Oh, or sometimes we just yell "PG WORDS!" and have a friend fill us in. Like refrigerator.

Miles D · 9th May 2009, 11:50 AM

My friend Noel just says, "Expletive."
and it's epic.

GhostDog · 9th May 2009, 11:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mediumdietcoke

My friend Noel just says, "Expletive."
and it's epic.

I like that! I think I may adopt that. =D

Katherine · 9th May 2009, 12:20 PM

I have a habit of calling almost everyone I don't like a Ding Dong. I use it way too much. Other than that, I tend to say "Darn it" and "Crap it all!" and "Urghblargh" and other assorted and random noises that I cannot possibly translate into words. That last one, mostly. I find myself shouting jibberish that sounds like baby talk.

tm74 · 9th May 2009, 02:03 PM

I've picked up "Frak" from Battlestar Galactica... but generally I don't swear (or "instead of swear") much - if I reach the point where I need to swear, I generally just do!

djt820 · 9th May 2009, 02:40 PM

I usually proclaim 'Dicks' or 'Dildos'. Not sure if those count. I still cuss a fucking lot.

9th May 2009, 07:12 AM	#1
Maddy Free Hugs EC Admin Gender: - Orientation: Into girls Location: Melbourne, Australia Age: 21 Posts: 7,704 Join Date: Mar 2008	Instead of swearing... I didn't realise how weird my vocabulary is until a few minutes ago when I tripped, nearly fell, caught myself, yelled "Jesus H Christ on a tricycle wearing a propellor beanie!" and caused a housemate to snort coffee out her nose laughing. I use a few silly phrases like that, mainly from training myself to not swear around my parents. Does anyone else have weird things they say instead of cursing, or am I just strange? __________________ how strange it is to be anything at all [Victor] 2:09 pm: and then halloween happened and I was outside in a skirt.

9th May 2009, 07:22 AM	#2
Lexington The gay gargoyle EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Colorado Age: 42 Posts: 12,371 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Instead of swearing... A friend of mine used to say "Jesus Christ on a bike." So another friend, mocking him, started saying "The Virgin Mary on a pogo stick." I still use that from time to time. Other random "swear" words I use: Foo Shucky-darns Darn it all to heck Bun of a slitch Well, skin me alive and call me luggage. The funny thing is - I still swear a lot... Lex Last edited by Lexington; 9th May 2009 at 07:25 AM..

9th May 2009, 07:22 AM	#3
Ben Was Invisible. EC Moderator Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Age: 20 Posts: 3,704 Join Date: Jul 2008	Re: Instead of swearing... Hah oh Maddy! I do the same actually, I'll rarely actually swear. If I were to trip over like you did I'd most likely say a variant of "oops" or "oh dear". Then I'll say other things such as "Holy cheese(or any other food)", "oh wowww", "that sucks insert animal here ass" etc. Actually my most common phrase when I was about 10 was "izza zizza" - I'd scream it whenever I got hurt or scared. I still say it on occasion.

9th May 2009, 07:36 AM	#5
Bookmarked Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: A gentleman's gentleman. Out Status: O-U-T out. Uh-huh Location: Derby, UK. Age: 21 Posts: 168 Join Date: Jul 2008	Re: Instead of swearing... Oh goodness, I end up using any and all of these things. Here's a couple of the most frequently used: Drat/Darn/Dash Jesus Harry Christ (Which sometimes evolves to Jesus Hare Krishna, if the mood takes me) Oh bothery. Croap (or when I'm feeling particularily cursive "Holy Croap") Snap Shiv Mercy-me! Buggery (Which may or may not count as a swear) When I get stressed, or confused, I tend to blurt things out in a confused tangle e.g. "Jesus, buggery croap!" __________________ People on the internet are silly. Why? Click here

9th May 2009, 08:12 AM	#6
TayTay Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Ohio Age: 19 Posts: 32 Join Date: May 2009	Re: Instead of swearing... I say Sweet Jesus! GRACE AND MERCY! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD BEND ME OVER AND DO ME DRY LORD HAVE MERCY And many many more if i think of them i will let you all know!

9th May 2009, 08:38 AM	#7
Mason Master Chef Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Salinas, CA Age: 19 Posts: 101 Join Date: Apr 2009	Re: Instead of swearing... Oh joy. I say waaaaaay too many things to list. Like you, I have been training myself not to curse around my parents. Seeing how my mom acts when my older siblings curse, she'll yell at them, I'll just make up other things. A few: Friggle Fraggle Blazes Goodness Gracious Me Monkey's Uncle

9th May 2009, 08:40 AM	#8
Cool Beans Hardly ever here Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: All but extended family, basically. Location: Philadelphia Age: 21 Posts: 551 Join Date: Oct 2007	Re: Instead of swearing... I'm a big fan of "Dagnabbit!" It makes me feel like an old-timey prospector. __________________ You can call me Dan if you want.

9th May 2009, 08:46 AM	#9
GhostDog is Spartacus. Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: MAGICAL. Out Status: The hiiills are aliiive with the sound of muuusic! Location: DFW area, Texas Age: 24 Posts: 2,503 Join Date: Apr 2009	Re: Instead of swearing... Haha, I use "Sweet Jesus" a lot. I am naturally rather vulgar at times. I'm trying to curb the habit since I'm working on getting teaching certification... >.> Lately I've taken to replacing "Son of a bitch" with "Some of it itches!" Also, if I'm around kids, I sometimes catch myself and go "Shiiiitake mushrooms" Muttering names at random bad drivers, I'll say things like "DOUCHE WAFFLE" if there is somebody teensy in the car with me. =P Still not the nicest thing to say but it's a lot nicer than what I normally say, haha. As for the F-bomb, I'll replace it with "friggin'," "freaking", or just "EFF!" __________________ <3 Kirah, who may or may not be made of delicious candy (and the lesbians)

9th May 2009, 09:38 AM	#10
partietraumatic A gay heteropolitan? Full Member Gender: Male Out Status: Enough for now Location: Oxford and Birmingham, UK Age: 20 Posts: 1,300 Join Date: Jul 2008	Re: Instead of swearing... in an effort to make myself swear less i started doing it in other lauguges. Its had such a lasting effect that if something frustrates me or i hurt myself or something my first reaction,completely naturally is now 'dios mio'. I also use 'porca madonna' sometimes. On the english side instead of saying the 'f' word ive become very fond of saying "oh my gosh/goodness/word" it makes me sound very english __________________ 'Im not your toy and this isn't another girl meets boy'

9th May 2009, 09:54 AM	#11
Daniel the great cheese danish Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Buffalo, NY Age: 21 Posts: 2,874 Join Date: Jun 2008	Re: Instead of swearing... Shoot, Fudgecicles, Lordy, Fidel-sticks, Oh poo-p, Jesu christe That's all I think. Otherwise I just let fly. __________________ "Nobody can teach me who I am, who can describe parts of me, but who I am and what I need, these are things I have to find out myself." - Chunua Achebe

9th May 2009, 10:00 AM	#12
Just Adam Just passing through Full Member Gender: Something Orientation: Dunno Out Status: If they ask i will tell them Location: Wherever Age: 23 Posts: 6,002 Join Date: Mar 2009	Re: Instead of swearing... i dont have anything practiced i just usually swear followed by a list of random words said angrilly __________________ There Used To Be A Point Of Things.

9th May 2009, 10:06 AM	#13
jazzrawr Lover of Loony Lovegood Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesimbean Out Status: I scream it from rooftops Location: Ontario, Canada. Age: 19 Posts: 3,391 Join Date: Feb 2008	Re: Instead of swearing... Ahaha, Maddy that's hilarious. XD I actually swear ALOT in real life - and loudly. For some reason, I can't swear quietly. >.< It's probably because my parents don't mind my swearing, they don't make me censor it. I still say interesting variations though; My best friend says "Mother of shit!" quite often. XD I also usually say 'feck' instead of fuck, unless I'm trying to make a point. I've also taken to saying 'Caesar salad...' whenever I get mad. Or 'Jesus christ caesar salad...' It started as a joke and continued from there. I can't think of any more at the present time; I'm sure I'll post them when I say them. XD __________________ <3 You can love people so much... But you can never love someone as much as you can miss them. (...and the lesbians.)

9th May 2009, 10:11 AM	#14
MusicIsLife EC Addict Full Member Gender: Not even sure anymore. Something in between. Orientation: I like girls :) Out Status: Everyone on orientation 7 people on trans issue. Location: Montréal, QC Age: 23 Posts: 1,595 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Instead of swearing... I actually swear i feel a lot of the "aversions" sound dumb. the closest thing i use as in at work when im with a customer or in front of young cousins i use shite and fecking.

9th May 2009, 11:44 AM	#15
Hoppip look at the good i do Full Member Gender: Lv. 18 ♂ Orientation: Water / Dragon Out Status: Uncommon Location: Johto Posts: 1,562 Join Date: May 2008	Re: Instead of swearing... I used to go to Chinese school with my Chinese friend, and she'd always go "Ayahhh!" when she got freaked out, and eventually I accidentally picked it up. To this day, if I get spooked by something, I'll holler "AYAAAH!" in a hardcore Asian voice. xD I also like the class Wisconsinite "I'm gonna smack the piss outta you." It's got a nice ring to it. But otherwise, I'm not much of a censor. I swear like a sailor. <3 Edit: Oh, or sometimes we just yell "PG WORDS!" and have a friend fill us in. Like refrigerator. __________________ KUDOS ME. I made myshelf pregnant. Last edited by Hoppip; 9th May 2009 at 11:51 AM..

9th May 2009, 11:50 AM	#16
Miles D Rude... and not ginger. Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: queer Out Status: everyone Location: San Diego, CA ⇒ Great Barrington, MA Age: 20 Posts: 1,171 Join Date: Jul 2008	Re: Instead of swearing... My friend Noel just says, "Expletive." and it's epic. __________________ Bowties are cool. Fezzes are cool.

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9th May 2009, 12:20 PM	#18
Katherine Professional Cuddler Full Member Gender: 75% female Orientation: 110% gay Out Status: 98% out Location: The land of rednecks and pine trees (Georgia) Age: 19 Posts: 1,745 Join Date: Mar 2009	Re: Instead of swearing... I have a habit of calling almost everyone I don't like a Ding Dong. I use it way too much. Other than that, I tend to say "Darn it" and "Crap it all!" and "Urghblargh" and other assorted and random noises that I cannot possibly translate into words. That last one, mostly. I find myself shouting jibberish that sounds like baby talk. __________________ Overly emotional five-foot-tall vegetarian gamer girl who procrastinates way too much. Loves food, art, cats, and making people smile.

9th May 2009, 02:03 PM	#19
tm74 Hug Whore Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: no immediate family - pretty much everyone else Location: Wales, UK Age: 38 Posts: 415 Join Date: Oct 2008	Re: Instead of swearing... I've picked up "Frak" from Battlestar Galactica... but generally I don't swear (or "instead of swear") much - if I reach the point where I need to swear, I generally just do! __________________ "Free your secrets to free yourself"

9th May 2009, 02:40 PM	#20
djt820 Brutally Honest Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: DICKS EVERYWHERE Out Status: Like A Cock Slapping Your Face Kind-of Out. Location: SoCal Age: 19 Posts: 1,282 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: Instead of swearing... I usually proclaim 'Dicks' or 'Dildos'. Not sure if those count. I still cuss a fucking lot. __________________ Last edited by djt820; 9th May 2009 at 02:42 PM..