Confused - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

Striker J · 16th May 2009, 06:27 AM

This week during school, we had testing or w/e, but I was sitting across from this guy who kept rubbing my leg, and then fourth hour he sat next to me, and put his arm on my shoulder, I don't know if he was flirting or what, but how am I supposed to find out if his is flirting or just being mean?

16th May 2009, 07:08 AM

Ask him?

Striker J · 16th May 2009, 07:15 AM

The only problem with that is, he has a girlfriend. But guys with girlfriends don't usually touch another guys leg and then smile.

16th May 2009, 07:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Striker J

The only problem with that is, he has a girlfriend. But guys with girlfriends don't usually touch another guys leg and then smile.

He could be bi, he could be gay and she's a cover up (i know from personal experience

), or he could just have been mucking around.

Like i said, ask him.

Striker J · 16th May 2009, 07:30 AM

I don't know how.
If I ask him, "Hey are you Bi? Gay?"
He will most likely be offended and never talk to me.
And if I do ask him, he will most likely go around the school telling people I'm gay.
I just don't know what to do, I guess I should just wait to see if he does anything monday...

16th May 2009, 07:54 AM

Just be smart about how you ask then.

Something like 'what was with you touching my leg the other day, you seemed to be enjoying it....'

Fiorino · 16th May 2009, 08:11 AM

Maybe if he does it again, be like "um, do you like me or something?" (one eyebrow raised and smiling).

Gumtree · 16th May 2009, 08:37 AM

Gosh what a difficult situation!

Is there a chance that people might suspect you of being gay? Your profile says you're not out at all; perhaps this guy has been put up to it by his friends to see if you're gay or not?

As the others have said the best way would be just to ask.

But pending on how ready you are to be out, I would be careful of what you say. Keep it as casual and joking as possible, without making him feel uncomfortable incase he is gay/bi.

Good luck ^^

kettleoffish · 16th May 2009, 09:48 AM

sounds pretty weird to me... I'd just casually ask him what was up with him touching your leg, it's natural to be confused with someone doing that and it won't really attract suspicion.

Jeimuzu · 16th May 2009, 10:41 AM

I'd not bring it up unless it becomes a regular thing. He's got a girlfriend, so even if he was secretly bi, it wouldn't be a good idea to be interested in him. In which case, there's no real need to know.

crystaltriforce · 16th May 2009, 11:02 AM

i say you should ask him something along the lines of "what the hell are you doing?" the next time he does something like that

8th Nov 2009, 09:40 PM

I wish a guy at school would rub my leg! But like everyone says, just ask him. What's the worst that could happen? I mean, he can't really say you're gay, because he started touching you in the first place, whether he was joking or not.

Jose Carioca · 8th Nov 2009, 10:16 PM

He is either:

Gay
Friendly, but not gay
or
Strait and trying to mess with you

Be especially cautious of the last one.

George · 9th Nov 2009, 04:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Striker J

The only problem with that is, he has a girlfriend. But guys with girlfriends don't usually touch another guys leg and then smile.

Yes they do. Guys who are idiots do that a lot.

16th May 2009, 06:27 AM	#1
Striker J Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: My College Friends, and some family Location: Kentucky Age: 19 Posts: 40 Join Date: May 2009	Confused This week during school, we had testing or w/e, but I was sitting across from this guy who kept rubbing my leg, and then fourth hour he sat next to me, and put his arm on my shoulder, I don't know if he was flirting or what, but how am I supposed to find out if his is flirting or just being mean?

16th May 2009, 07:08 AM	#2
SAGUY84 Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Confused Ask him?

16th May 2009, 07:15 AM	#3
Striker J Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: My College Friends, and some family Location: Kentucky Age: 19 Posts: 40 Join Date: May 2009	Re: Confused The only problem with that is, he has a girlfriend. But guys with girlfriends don't usually touch another guys leg and then smile.

16th May 2009, 07:30 AM	#5
Striker J Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: My College Friends, and some family Location: Kentucky Age: 19 Posts: 40 Join Date: May 2009	Re: Confused I don't know how. If I ask him, "Hey are you Bi? Gay?" He will most likely be offended and never talk to me. And if I do ask him, he will most likely go around the school telling people I'm gay. I just don't know what to do, I guess I should just wait to see if he does anything monday...

16th May 2009, 07:54 AM	#6
SAGUY84 Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Confused Just be smart about how you ask then. Something like 'what was with you touching my leg the other day, you seemed to be enjoying it....'

16th May 2009, 08:11 AM	#7
Fiorino Fio Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Most people Location: Buenos Aires, Argentina Posts: 1,005 Join Date: Jan 2008	Re: Confused Maybe if he does it again, be like "um, do you like me or something?" (one eyebrow raised and smiling). __________________ Why is it that as a culture, we're more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?

16th May 2009, 08:37 AM	#8
Gumtree EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Sydney - Australia Posts: 944 Join Date: Apr 2008	Re: Confused Gosh what a difficult situation! Is there a chance that people might suspect you of being gay? Your profile says you're not out at all; perhaps this guy has been put up to it by his friends to see if you're gay or not? As the others have said the best way would be just to ask. But pending on how ready you are to be out, I would be careful of what you say. Keep it as casual and joking as possible, without making him feel uncomfortable incase he is gay/bi. Good luck ^^ __________________ Life is like driving, go too fast and you will miss the scenery, then one day you won't know where you are or what you've missed.

16th May 2009, 09:48 AM	#9
kettleoffish new avatar time! Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: all but parents.. for now. Location: Scotland Age: 18 Posts: 1,045 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: Confused sounds pretty weird to me... I'd just casually ask him what was up with him touching your leg, it's natural to be confused with someone doing that and it won't really attract suspicion. __________________ ~~There is no way to peace; peace is the way.~~ --A. J. Muste

16th May 2009, 10:41 AM	#10
Jeimuzu Wreck Cognition Full Member Gender: Heterogametic Orientation: Rawr. Out Status: 99% out. Location: Middlesbrough Age: 23 Posts: 1,744 Join Date: Aug 2007	Re: Confused I'd not bring it up unless it becomes a regular thing. He's got a girlfriend, so even if he was secretly bi, it wouldn't be a good idea to be interested in him. In which case, there's no real need to know. __________________

16th May 2009, 11:02 AM	#11
crystaltriforce raised by nintendo and sega Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: all but extended family Location: outside of Philadelphia Age: 21 Posts: 1,825 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: Confused i say you should ask him something along the lines of "what the hell are you doing?" the next time he does something like that __________________ we need masculinity....PUT ON THE "FUZZY FUZZY CUTE CUTE" SONG!!!

8th Nov 2009, 09:40 PM	#12
1980WannaBe Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Confused I wish a guy at school would rub my leg! But like everyone says, just ask him. What's the worst that could happen? I mean, he can't really say you're gay, because he started touching you in the first place, whether he was joking or not.

8th Nov 2009, 10:16 PM	#13
Jose Carioca 1/3 of the Three Caballeros Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: M/M Out Status: A few people Location: San Diego Age: 20 Posts: 287 Join Date: Apr 2009	Re: Confused He is either: Gay Friendly, but not gay or Strait and trying to mess with you Be especially cautious of the last one. __________________ It's better to be hated for who you are... .. than loved for who you are not.

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