Homosexual Identiy Process

(A.K.A: The 6 stages of coming out)

1. Identity Confusion: The indavudial is assuming a heterosexual identity because heterosexuality is seen as expected in society. At the same time same sex attractions begin to occur leading to confusion. The indavidual begins to ask "who am I?"

2. Identity Comparrison: The indavidual now thinks "I may be a homosexual." There may be feelings of alianation because the comfortable heterosexual identiy may be lost.

3. Identity tolerance: Indavidual thinks "I may be a homosexual." The indavidual now seeks out homosexuals and makes contact with the gay subculture, hoping for affimation. The quality of these initial contacts are critical

4. Identity Accpetance: Indavidual can now say "I am a homosexual" and accepts rather than tolerate this identity

5. Identity Pride: The indavidual catagorizes the world into two groups, Homosexuals (good and important people) and Heterosexuals (bad and unimportant people). There is a strong identification with the gay group and increased coming out's

6. Identity Synthisis: The indavidual no longer hold an "is versus them" view of homosexuals and heterosexuals, recognizing that there are some good and supportive heterosexuals. in this final stage, the person is able to synthisize public and private sexual identities (who other subject.)

Heres the question...

At what stage are you at?

Im stuck at 5. I cant get over the notion of the 2 world Idea. Its gotten better but I alienate people by what I think they think of me when I dont even know what they actually think. I hate it but Im working on it.

[mattypants]

i find myself between 2 and 3
poll no? xD

[starfish]

I am in 1 and 6 at the same time.

That may sound odd, and well I guess it is. I am synthesizing my new identity, but there are some very big questions as to certain components of that identity.

[Maddy]

Moving into 6, I think.

[partietraumatic]

oddly,as i didn't expect it,I think im at 6. I don't see it as us and them, but then i never did have that opinion, so maybe i havnt followed the path lol

[Peter]

6 - don't think I ever went through 5. I remember that if being gay is just a fact of life - like being left-handed - than it is nothing about which you should be proud or ashamed. They are idiots in every group.

I'm at like 1 or something.

[Ben]

I never went through some of those phases.

At first it wasn't a "who am I?" it was more of an "Oh I like guys how do I hide this"
I was able to say "I am homosexual" before I made any contact with any other gay people.
I have never thought of straight people as "bad and unimportant"...? I've never felt like I'm in a different world to my straight friends.

I think that list is pretty over-generalized. But if I had to put myself anywhere it would be 6.

i think i'm between 5 and 6.. never had the feeling that hetero's were "evil"...more that they cant understand (though many try)...which i still maintain as at least partially true.

skipped 3. i think i'm moving towards 3 actually lol.

[Absentminded]

I'm basically at 6, but I'm almost the same way as the OP. I always feel like I'm being singled out, but I could care less about the 2 worlds thing.

[kettleoffish]

I would say I'm at 6, but I seem to have skipped 1, 2, 3, and 5 for some reason.

[Gumtree]

Def in 6, and I think I skipped 1 ^^

[stratavos]

5 cause there is a lot of being around straight people... which is kinda weird cause I'm at an art school... and all the cute straights I keep getting crushes on...

[Just Adam]

im dieing trapped between 3 & 4

but 5 and 6 never applied to me i allreday accept everyone till they make me feel like i want to die and allready support the gay community as much as my very limited self can :S

i can accept others just not myself. if im honest i dont fit in be it a gay straight or alien environment i just seem to hover at the side. i dont even like to class myself as gay, im attracted to men more than women but if i meet a person i like it would be gender irrelevent but i dont see my self as bi sexual as its not actual attraction based its person based if i care about the person then i can love them and sex is just a way of showing my love... and now i feel weird writing this. im so confused and im really sorry to put a min rant/moan in this thread

[xequar]

I'm definitely at stage 6. I hang out with straight people, supportive people, and the fact that I'm gay is not an issue at all. It's treated as just a thing about me, like my friend N--- being Indian and L--- being Asian and M--- being black or E---- being a student in Japanese Studies or D---working for a large health care company. It just is, and I don't care if they're straight or gay or bi or whatever.

I think I'm somewhere between step 4 and 5.

I don't feel quite represented by these categories... I know for sure I'm gay (so I'm not confused, I don't say 'I may be...'), but I'm too scared of the social rejection that coming out implies. I don't date girls either, and I don't say "I'm straight", people assume so because is what everyone is supposed to be.

[Cheria]

I don't think I ever went through Steps 1-3, I like started off at 4 or something. But I think I may be going through 3 now (the seeking out gays part).
But I'd say right now, I'm between 5 and 6. I still see them as kinda separate, but not as good and bad. Just as... separate. Sorta.

[Z3ni]

I'm at 1 :/

[diegon3]

5.4
although i don't think straight ppl are unimportant
cause in my mind they are just as important as most of us not only in the gay group but all the GLBTQ in gerneral