anyone know any funny quotes?

[Tiny Catastrophe]

me and my friend get bored at night and we look for funny quotes but i cant find any good ones. anyone know any good ones?

"one more drink and i'll be under the host." Dorothy Parker

[KatoKumi]

"So... Pokemon and gays are of the devil?"
Tyra Banks.

Brilliant.

[KatoKumi]

Oh&

"An orgasm is where your organs pop out."

Trying to weasel our way out of an akward situation with a child.
Needless to say, his response was "I never want one of those."

"Next to being witty yourself, the best thing is to quote another's wit."
- Christian N. Bovee

"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils."
- Hector Berlioz

"In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular."
- Laurence J. Peter

"Better to have loved and lost a short person than never to have loved a tall."
- David Chamble

"I can resist everything except temptation."
- Oscar Wilde

Those are some of my favourites.

[hiker360]

Originally Posted by Numfarh

"Next to being witty yourself, the best thing is to quote another's wit."
- Christian N. Bovee

"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils."
- Hector Berlioz

"In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular."
- Laurence J. Peter

"Better to have loved and lost a short person than never to have loved a tall."
- David Chamble

"I can resist everything except temptation."
- Oscar Wilde

hahahahahahahahaha, sorry can't talk right now

[jonny]

My fav From Bryan44

Signature
~I dont need sex, life f*cks me whenever it can.~

[singtoh1]

"A smile is when your face has an orgasm."
Anonymous

[djt820]

"Im gonna gauge your eyes out and skull fuck you"
Srgt.

[Daniel]

"It is difficult to see why lace should be so expensive; it is mostly holes." - Mary Wilson Little

"The worst part of having success is to try to finding someone who is happy for you" - Bette Midler

"I do not see any reason why the devil should have all the good tunes." - Rowland Hill

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

"Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance or a stranger." - Franklin P. Jones

"The most beautiful things in the world are the most useless - peacocks and lilies, for instance." - John Ruskin

"I'd rather be black than gay because when you're black you don't have to tell your mother." - Charles Pierce

"Jogging is for people who aren't smart enough to watch television." - Victoria Wood

"He has all the characteristics of a dog - except the loyalty." - Sam Houston

"If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun." - Katherine Hepburn

"Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone." - Anthony Burgess

"If you have nothing good to say about anyone, come sit by me." - Alice Roosevelt Longsworth

"Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop." - Gittel Hudnick

[jayhad90]

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives

[Lexington]

"Culture is great, but if it costs more than a buck, buck-fifty, I say 'fuck culture'." - Paul Buckley

Ian (pointing to drummer): You. Too complicated. Boom, whap, boom, whap.
Drummer: That's boring.
Ian: Boring sells. Boom, whap, boom, whap.

"It's amazing how attractive you get once you sell your millionth album." - Joe King

"I don't need to use protection. I know he practices mahogany." - random guy in bar

"It took me all of my forty-six years to make sense of life, and now you wish me to explain it to you in five minutes?" - Master Splinter

Lex

[malachite]

"If you get lost remember the moss always grows on the outside of the tree"
-Ernest P Worrell

"Wise men say , 'forgivness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza' "
-Michaelangelo

"The earlybird gets the worm but the second rat gets the cheese"

[Tiny Catastrophe]

Originally Posted by Killerjc

My fav From Bryan44

Signature
~I dont need sex, life f*cks me whenever it can.~

thats so true in my life

[Markio]

"If you don't have anything nice to say, make sure you have something heavy to throw."

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away, especially if you have good aim."

[seadog]

so many of these are great,, ,, ,,

Mae West: There are two kinds of men I like. Foreign, and domestic!
Seadog; Being Gay Means Never Having To Say "Honey, We're Pregnant!"