what would you do? - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

hoping · 4th Jul 2009, 02:00 AM

What would you do if you met someone and wanted to go out with them and find out they had a child ? just wondering what you would do, cause i met this guy, hes really hot and a nice guy, hes 29 and he was with a woman before hiding his sexuality and he has a 4 year old son, and its all good i mean i dont have a problem with it but he was telling me with guys hes met before have run away cause of that.
what would you do?

Timm · 4th Jul 2009, 02:11 AM

Depends on whether or not you like kids. If you like kids, then there won't be a problem.

Bryan44 · 4th Jul 2009, 02:33 AM

I have dated someone with a kid. If you like kids, then go for it. Its just important to not get to attatched to the child, in case things dont work out. If that makes any sense at all. Like sometimes I would babysit and the baby started calling me dad and it was awkward and I think he was confused and then after we stopped dating it was really sad. You just have to be careful when kids get involved.

Cheria · 4th Jul 2009, 02:38 AM

It wouldn't be that big of a deal for me, unless the kid is terrible...

**EM68** · 4th Jul 2009, 04:09 AM

It should not be a problem. Does the child live with the guy or the mother? If it is with the mother then it probably would not be an issue. Yea there may be times he may have to do things with his kid but everyone has family stuff to do. If you like the guy go for it! Good luck!

heatqueen · 4th Jul 2009, 04:13 AM

Love rules everything. The love would come first, regardless of whether they had a kid or not. Which means I'd love the kid too.

Just Adam · 4th Jul 2009, 04:14 AM

i agre with all above.... if you like the guy the kid shouldent be an issue he may have to go out for the day with him so expect that but if your in a loving relationship then its all good

bob4carl09 · 4th Jul 2009, 05:16 AM

It's tricky. I personally would see it as a bonus, cus I love kids and also it sort of implies a level of maturity on the guys part, which would appeal to me. I'm not in to clubbing, so a partner who has to stay in some evenings or get an early night is all good

On the other hand, that's very much a 'me' thing, and I can understand people being freaked. If you're looking for a relationship, that's kinda a 2 person relationship, where as this would be more 2.5.

Chaos · 4th Jul 2009, 05:57 AM

I don't like children and I don't want children....

So it would be a dilemma for me! However, if I really liked them then maybe I could look past the fact that they had a kid? It wouldn't be MY kid, so I could deal with it. I don't really know. This hasn't happened with me yet! Thought provoking question... :P

Although I'd rather they have a kid than a boyfriend or a girlfriend or a wife or a husband. Now that would be the kicker...

Kenko · 4th Jul 2009, 06:47 AM

Jim can probably give a more biased view on it, but assuming everything was in the clear, I wouldn't have a problem with it. Especially if you like children.

4th Jul 2009, 02:00 AM	#1
hoping EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: A few people Location: australia Age: 23 Posts: 527 Join Date: May 2007	what would you do? What would you do if you met someone and wanted to go out with them and find out they had a child ? just wondering what you would do, cause i met this guy, hes really hot and a nice guy, hes 29 and he was with a woman before hiding his sexuality and he has a 4 year old son, and its all good i mean i dont have a problem with it but he was telling me with guys hes met before have run away cause of that. what would you do? __________________ On to canada in 2012

4th Jul 2009, 02:11 AM	#2
Timm Irresponsible Responsible Adult Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: New Hampshire Age: 20 Posts: 499 Join Date: May 2009	Re: what would you do? Depends on whether or not you like kids. If you like kids, then there won't be a problem. __________________

4th Jul 2009, 02:33 AM	#3
Bryan44 Dork Full Member Gender: Male Location: Georgia (the state) Posts: 2,065 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: what would you do? I have dated someone with a kid. If you like kids, then go for it. Its just important to not get to attatched to the child, in case things dont work out. If that makes any sense at all. Like sometimes I would babysit and the baby started calling me dad and it was awkward and I think he was confused and then after we stopped dating it was really sad. You just have to be careful when kids get involved.

4th Jul 2009, 02:38 AM	#4
Cheria にひひっ♪ Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Almost everyone Location: Illinois Age: 20 Posts: 636 Join Date: Mar 2009	Re: what would you do? It wouldn't be that big of a deal for me, unless the kid is terrible... __________________

4th Jul 2009, 04:09 AM	#5
EM68 Happily Married! :) EC Moderator Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out and about. Location: Stoughton, Massachusetts USA Age: 43 Posts: 4,288 Join Date: Jun 2008	Re: what would you do? It should not be a problem. Does the child live with the guy or the mother? If it is with the mother then it probably would not be an issue. Yea there may be times he may have to do things with his kid but everyone has family stuff to do. If you like the guy go for it! Good luck! __________________ I'm beautiful in my way, 'Cause God makes no mistakes I'm on the right track, baby I was Born This Way -Lady Gaga

4th Jul 2009, 04:13 AM	#6
heatqueen Official #1 fan of Celine Dion Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Pansexual/Homoromantic bisexual Out Status: Generally whoever asks Location: I travel a lot Age: 20 Posts: 5,706 Join Date: Jan 2008	Re: what would you do? Love rules everything. The love would come first, regardless of whether they had a kid or not. Which means I'd love the kid too. __________________ Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink. Co-founder of the 'Sailor Moon Made Me Gay' club...and the lesbians.

4th Jul 2009, 04:14 AM	#7
Just Adam Just passing through Full Member Gender: Something Orientation: Dunno Out Status: If they ask i will tell them Location: Wherever Age: 23 Posts: 6,002 Join Date: Mar 2009	Re: what would you do? i agre with all above.... if you like the guy the kid shouldent be an issue he may have to go out for the day with him so expect that but if your in a loving relationship then its all good __________________ There Used To Be A Point Of Things.

4th Jul 2009, 05:16 AM	#8
bob4carl09 Falling...deep... and its all good! Full Member Gender: Manfolk Orientation: Gay Out Status: 2 best mates, 3 at uni & my lil cuz Location: Swansea, Wales Age: 25 Posts: 476 Join Date: Mar 2009	Re: what would you do? It's tricky. I personally would see it as a bonus, cus I love kids and also it sort of implies a level of maturity on the guys part, which would appeal to me. I'm not in to clubbing, so a partner who has to stay in some evenings or get an early night is all good On the other hand, that's very much a 'me' thing, and I can understand people being freaked. If you're looking for a relationship, that's kinda a 2 person relationship, where as this would be more 2.5.

4th Jul 2009, 05:57 AM	#9
Chaos Bulletproof Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: FaceBook, MySpace, I don't care who knows OUT Location: Saskatchewan, Canada Age: 24 Posts: 313 Join Date: Dec 2005	Re: what would you do? I don't like children and I don't want children.... So it would be a dilemma for me! However, if I really liked them then maybe I could look past the fact that they had a kid? It wouldn't be MY kid, so I could deal with it. I don't really know. This hasn't happened with me yet! Thought provoking question... :P Although I'd rather they have a kid than a boyfriend or a girlfriend or a wife or a husband. Now that would be the kicker...

4th Jul 2009, 06:47 AM	#10
Kenko EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: A few friends + parents Location: Canada Age: 26 Posts: 1,407 Join Date: Jan 2007	Re: what would you do? Jim can probably give a more biased view on it, but assuming everything was in the clear, I wouldn't have a problem with it. Especially if you like children.