The gay "lifestyle"

[Étoile]

Recently, whenever someone is gay or a gay-related topic is brought up on TV, people, even the gay person themself, refers to their sexual orientation as "the gay lifestyle."

WTF?! When has your sexual orientation become a lifestyle? Going green is a lifestyle. Living in the suburbs is a lifestyle. Becoming an entrepreneur is a lifestyle. Being gay is not. There's a difference between being openly gay, which is a lifestyle, than the orientation itself. Then, the gay person will say something like they started exploring and loving it in such a casual, nonchalant tone. This not only makes being LGBT sound like a choice but a strange, nasty choice. I'm not expecting people to burst into tears every time they mention their orientation, but talking about it in such a "I'm glad I made this choice!" doesn't make sense to me.

This frustrates me since millions of viewers are watching and TV has an influence over us whether we want to admit it or not. I know TV producers want to be neutral to appeal to everyone, but that seems like the wrong term to use.

[Jack2009]

when i think of lifestyle

i think of queer as folk (cool show though)

then I think of this

+ YouTube Video

[Lexington]

When you hear someone using the term "gay lifestyle", it seems that it encompasses all the things that can be associated with homosexuality that the speaker finds disagreeable. This seems to include (in roughly descending order of "acceptability"):

* anal sex
* promiscuity/sexual liberation
* femininity in men
* masculinity in women
* not fitting in
* having cooler shops/hang-out places/homes than straights

Lex

[oneguy15]

Yeah, it also ticks me off when someone refers to it as a "Lifestyle".

It only adds to the misconception that homosexuality is a choice, and it's pretty upsetting. People should give the media the finger instead of being neutral.
It's either the truth or no interview. Simple as that.

> "There's a difference between being openly gay, which is a lifestyle, than the orientation itself."

I'm quoting you on this for my blog, kthnxbai. :]

[lafuisha1993]

i know! someone saidhat to me last week sumtime andm i was jus like are you kidding me?!
i hate when people assume that we CHOOSE to like the saem sex....
ugh!

[Greggers]

Originally Posted by Lexington

When you hear someone using the term "gay lifestyle", it seems that it encompasses all the things that can be associated with homosexuality that the speaker finds disagreeable. This seems to include (in roughly descending order of "acceptability"):

* anal sex
* promiscuity/sexual liberation
* femininity in men
* masculinity in women
* not fitting in
* having cooler shops/hang-out places/homes than straights

Lex

Can i get a "WOO WOO" for anal sex!

...i guess i should add something here.

I know i dont live my life like i would if i were straight, and thats foolish to think i would because if i was straight i would be a different person. My being gay does change many things i do, some out of force (like were i go to meet people) and some out of choice (like holding a partners hand in public or not). But by "gay lifestyle" i think it means more what Lex said and less about choosing to be gay. Its meant to make being gay look like a filthy and dirty habit, not like we chose to be gay. Thats a whole different argument that the homophobic people are using.

[Jack2009]

I don't even know how much would change about me if I was straight.

<< my avatar would be different.







i think

[hiker360]

grrr, why do people have to make fun of people who are different they should at least lay off on the judgements, unless ther're gay themselves, then atleast there judgement will be well informed, people should just know what ther're telking about first

[ACDC]

I think it depends on the individual: how much their sexuality defines their life. So by the "gay lifestyle" someone chooses to let in define most parts of their life- this also happens with straight people. Others however choose not to let it define them as such, i guess thats where the element of choice comes into it. I friend explained this through labels, those who lived a gay lifestyle whom you can tell by looking at them through clothing etc were "queer" while those who were less obvious about it were "just gay."
While i dont normally agree with labelling people it made sense in this case.

[matty123]

i don't think that being gay means living a gay lifestyle, in the end it just means which gender you find yourself attracted to, however i think to some extent you have to live somewhere where you can meet other gay people, we are in the minority, i just think that you can't really meet many other gay people in the middle of nowhere.

[Swamp56]

I just ask, "who cares?" People have their own ways of structuring things, and if they call it a lifestyle, then it's a lifestyle to them.

[kramer362]

I think there was a memo put out at the start of the gay rights movement that made clear the distinction that straight people have 'lives' and gay people have 'lifestyles'.

[Kenko]

Generally anti-gay organizations encompass a lot of other "undesirable" behaviours in with the "gay lifestyle", because there's nothing inherently bad with being gay, they want to make a connection to other "behaviours" to say "See how destructive being gay is?" Behaviours they consider generally include: promiscuous sex, binge drinking, drug use, wild irresponsible partying, weird leather & BSDM fetishes, just "being weird", etc.

If people realized how boring most gay people are, they wouldn't really have a problem with being gay.

On the other hand, a number of gay people seem to define themselves primarily on their sexual orientation. Pride flag decorations aside, every time I'm over at their house, all they talk about is people they met or chatted with on (popular gay hookup site), how they want more gay (non-sexual) friends, keep telling gay stories, the only bars they want to go out to are the gay bars, etc.

Myself? Being gay is a part of who I am, and exactly that. A part of who I am.

[Zach]

I'll give you a WOO WOO for anal sex Greggers I'm still trying to decide what I like better ....giving oral ... or recieving anal ... desisions ...desisions

[littledinosaurs]

When people are on Tv they say "the gay lifestyle" because they are attempting to make themselves the poster people for GAY.
They believe that they are living according to the values, beliefs and habits of all gay people.
However most of the time a TV personality has nothing in common with us real folk.
It's annoying, cause there is no one "gay lifestyle" we're all different and with the exception of little niche gaybourhoods, we don't live similar lives beyond experiencing discrimination and feelings of alienation.