ex gay movement

Well I was involved in the ex gay movement several years ago. The organisation was a branch of the internatinal Exodus program. Anyway I was brainwashed to believe that homosexuality is a sin, and that homosexuality can be cured. Anyway I also did another program for people wanting to stop their homosexual behaviour. Anyway I went to those organisations out of personal choice. A main reason is I wanted to please family, and wanted to live a straight livestyle and get married to a woman and have children. However I was not happy. Anyway thats the reason why I left the ex gay organisations as I was not happy. Anyway I heard people that did the ex gay program and were gay but now living a straight lifestyle. However I believe that those claim that they used to be gay but now straight is not true and they are probably bisexual. Even if someone that used to live a former homosexual lifestyle and live in a hetrosexual lifestyle, would still have homosexual desires. Anyway has anyone ever been involved in the exgay movement here?

[seadog]

Not me. But I had a bf when at university. Liked guys, but wanted kids, too. I chose to go the kids route, and for twenty years have tried denying, stuffing, repressing, supressing, hiding, concealing, and sometimes secretly exploring my attraction to males. I think depression, and perhaps a bit of perversion, resulted. I am here gaining help to come out to my wife and tell her I'm done denying my nature. Don't really know what that means, but I don't think I'll find out without being honest and more open with myself and with her. .. .. .. time will tell.

I.ve never been involved in or come in to contact with the movement but i'd like to know how you got out of it and managed to get your life back on track, if you wouldn't mind sharing? Did they hound you at all once you'd left?

It took time to get my life out on track and it was a slow process. I went to the program twice, as the first time I went it was for a few weeks, and left, and after that I went a few months later or nearly a year later. Since then there were times I was tempted to go back there. It was a very slow process on getting my life on track and becoming confortable with my sexuality. They did not hound me when I left.

I too believe a lot of the ex-gayers are bi but were never exposed to the idea of bisexuality. Its either your good and heterosexual or evil and homosexual. If your a bisexual then just marry someone that will make others happy.

Was their methods of converting like...religious or "scientific"?
Did they inform you of methods that they would use on you?
Were there any methods that baffled you?

[Alex19]

nope. and i never will... obviously lol

Originally Posted by Legnaj

I too believe a lot of the ex-gayers are bi but were never exposed to the idea of bisexuality. Its either your good and heterosexual or evil and homosexual. If your a bisexual then just marry someone that will make others happy.

Was their methods of converting like...religious or "scientific"?
Did they inform you of methods that they would use on you?
Were there any methods that baffled you?

I agree with you Legnaj.
Their methods on converting was religious. They did inform me on the methods over time when I was there. The methods that baffled me was that at the start of each meeting everyone there very strongly encouraged to discuss their so called sexual sins they did in that week as each meeting was a weekly event.

[Markio]

I was never involved with an ex-gay organization because that would require admitting that I was gay. I did try to fix myself though, because I was raised Catholic and believed that it was only natural to go to hell for being this way. I tried to masturbate to women, but it was literally impossible to make any progress (or erection). I would cry after climax...

I feel like I'm in a much healthier mindset now, but I still have subconscious doubts about myself that I need to overcome.

[Kenko]

How much money did you spend on it?

Looking at the statistics, "success rates" are lucky if they break 30%, and of those, a third remains celibate, a large number return as ex-gay staff, and there's a lot of turnover in staff because there ends up being scandals, and oopsie, turns out they weren't fixed. Likewise other participants end up just repressing, and a large number come to the realization later "oopsie, wasn't fixed".

[TriBi]

Quite simply (IMO) - these programs cannot change one's innate sexuality.

They can make some participants guilty enough to try and 'live the lie' - but I doubt that is either productive or healthy.

People who are genuinely Bi can likely be pushed toward being exclusively hetero via guilt - but it is my feeling that people who are truly gay will never be anything other than unhappy. It is up to the individual to decide who/which they are - and how they want to live their life (in truth or as a lie). One will probably result in unhappiness & denial - and the other - well - I'll let you decide.

Well it was free. However I have heard there are exgay prograns that are not free. I am aware there is a large number of gays that went through the program. In addition of course I went to it to my own free will however I am aware there are others around that were forced to go to it by their parents.

makes you wonder how many lgbt suicides could be laid at the door of programs like these... The number must be substantial. :-(