How would you know? - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

Dean94 · 24th Aug 2009, 05:39 AM

Heey (: This is really buggin me so i had to ask xD When your out nd about, how would you spot a gay/bi guy?:/ Cause id hardly go up nd ask(since it wud lead to a brused face ^_^)

KittyBoy · 24th Aug 2009, 06:22 AM

Well, I seem to be able to pic them out everywehre I go. I don't know how, but I always manage to find them. Maybe check the mannerisms and behavioural patterns of the people, that seems like a dead give away.

Dean94 · 24th Aug 2009, 06:24 AM

Haaa,nice talent:L Yeeh,but i dont wanna be caught staring the hell outta them x) What behavior should i be looking out for?

KittyBoy · 24th Aug 2009, 06:27 AM

Maybe, listen into a bit of the convo a little bit, but not so obvious that you are listening to them. Try maybe hand movements, body langauge, pick up on some phrases that they know. Things like that.

Dean94 · 24th Aug 2009, 06:31 AM

Ooook thaanks ^_^ ill try it out tomorrow (:

KittyBoy · 24th Aug 2009, 06:33 AM

Just remember, do everything subtly!

Steve · 24th Aug 2009, 06:34 AM

theres no real way to spot if some ones gay unless he/ she shows it
it also depends what type of gay your looking for.. if your looking for a more femine type of fabulous gay it will be alot easier to spot them then a macho jock type gay guy.

the only real way is for them to come out to you

xequar · 24th Aug 2009, 08:41 AM

Pay attention to their eyes. You can always tell when they're checking out another guy. Like on Saturday, my BF and I stopped for gas, and there was a guy a couple of pumps over that kept sneaking glances at us, but trying not to get seen. Of course, after my BF and I had gotten in the car and started to pull away, I saw him openly checking us out (and the decals on the car confirmed that yes, we're a gay couple).

**Filip** · 24th Aug 2009, 09:28 AM

If there was a 100% correct, easy and direct method, people would have discovered it (and possibly patented it

)by now. So there's always going to be uncertainty.

And I'm always a bit wary about people claiming they can spot gay people easily. A lot of the time there's no way to confirm your suspicions, and there also might be a lot of gay people that fly under the radar and never get spotted.

That said, if you interact with people for more than a few minutes there are a few things you can look out for.

-Eye movements. As Xequar said, you can sometimes see guys checking out other guys. I tend to watch for the reverse: a total lack of checking out girls. As far as I can see, straight guys often let their eyes wander towards attractive girls in the vicinity, while gay guys (obviously) rarely do so.

Also, there's this eye-rolling movement some people occasionally make. I've seen it happen more in gay guys than in straight guys. But it's hardly a 1-on-1 corellation.

-Pronoun games. A lot of gay people don't like to lie outright. So if matters of relationships come up, they usually resort to gender-neutral pronouns rather than flat-out lying. Straight guys usually are more direct in saying "I (don't) have a girlfriend".

-Generally, if you give subtle hints that you might be gay, or OK with gay people, you can see that gay people do pick up on hints more easily than straight people. Some even start hinting back.

However, I can only reiterate that this is all highly circumstantial evidence at best. In most cases it's hard to confirm an impression, and quite a few guys will fly under the radar. But making smalltalk isn't necessarily a bad waste of time anyway...

Swamp56 · 24th Aug 2009, 09:32 AM

My gaydar gets tainted since hot guys tend to trigger it xD . My nana has one of the best gaydars I've ever seen though lol.

Alex19 · 24th Aug 2009, 08:36 PM

my gaydar suxxxx. like, big time. i can only spot the obvious ones

doesnt really help me much

24th Aug 2009, 05:39 AM	#1
Dean94 Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: A few people Location: Ireland,dublin (: Posts: 21 Join Date: Aug 2009	How would you know? Heey (: This is really buggin me so i had to ask xD When your out nd about, how would you spot a gay/bi guy?:/ Cause id hardly go up nd ask(since it wud lead to a brused face ^_^)

24th Aug 2009, 06:22 AM	#2
KittyBoy Kitty! (=｀ω´=) Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: All but family Location: Sydney, New South Wales, Australia Age: 20 Posts: 3,479 Join Date: Apr 2009	Re: How would you know? Well, I seem to be able to pic them out everywehre I go. I don't know how, but I always manage to find them. Maybe check the mannerisms and behavioural patterns of the people, that seems like a dead give away. __________________ Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. ~Judy Garland

24th Aug 2009, 06:24 AM	#3
Dean94 Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: A few people Location: Ireland,dublin (: Posts: 21 Join Date: Aug 2009	Re: How would you know? Haaa,nice talent:L Yeeh,but i dont wanna be caught staring the hell outta them x) What behavior should i be looking out for?

24th Aug 2009, 06:27 AM	#4
KittyBoy Kitty! (=｀ω´=) Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: All but family Location: Sydney, New South Wales, Australia Age: 20 Posts: 3,479 Join Date: Apr 2009	Re: How would you know? Maybe, listen into a bit of the convo a little bit, but not so obvious that you are listening to them. Try maybe hand movements, body langauge, pick up on some phrases that they know. Things like that. __________________ Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. ~Judy Garland

24th Aug 2009, 06:31 AM	#5
Dean94 Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: A few people Location: Ireland,dublin (: Posts: 21 Join Date: Aug 2009	Re: How would you know? Ooook thaanks ^_^ ill try it out tomorrow (:

24th Aug 2009, 06:33 AM	#6
KittyBoy Kitty! (=｀ω´=) Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: All but family Location: Sydney, New South Wales, Australia Age: 20 Posts: 3,479 Join Date: Apr 2009	Re: How would you know? Just remember, do everything subtly! __________________ Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. ~Judy Garland

24th Aug 2009, 06:34 AM	#7
Steve EC's Soldier! Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Sargeant sexual Out Status: whoever asks Location: Born in australia, but now living some where else Age: 21 Posts: 2,273 Join Date: May 2008	Re: How would you know? theres no real way to spot if some ones gay unless he/ she shows it it also depends what type of gay your looking for.. if your looking for a more femine type of fabulous gay it will be alot easier to spot them then a macho jock type gay guy. the only real way is for them to come out to you __________________ Soldier " there is no room for that in my pocklet" commander " if there is room in your heart then there in your pocket" Soldier " i cant fit my gf in there" -r " have you tried ? until you try you dont know"

24th Aug 2009, 08:41 AM	#8
xequar Diapered and collared! Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: I have "The Gay." :) Out Status: Loud and proud! Location: Detroit area, Michigan Age: 30 Posts: 1,746 Join Date: Mar 2007	Re: How would you know? Pay attention to their eyes. You can always tell when they're checking out another guy. Like on Saturday, my BF and I stopped for gas, and there was a guy a couple of pumps over that kept sneaking glances at us, but trying not to get seen. Of course, after my BF and I had gotten in the car and started to pull away, I saw him openly checking us out (and the decals on the car confirmed that yes, we're a gay couple). __________________

24th Aug 2009, 09:28 AM	#9
Filip Cecile's sidekick EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: All but extended family Location: Belgium, EU Age: 28 Posts: 3,366 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: How would you know? If there was a 100% correct, easy and direct method, people would have discovered it (and possibly patented it )by now. So there's always going to be uncertainty. And I'm always a bit wary about people claiming they can spot gay people easily. A lot of the time there's no way to confirm your suspicions, and there also might be a lot of gay people that fly under the radar and never get spotted. That said, if you interact with people for more than a few minutes there are a few things you can look out for. -Eye movements. As Xequar said, you can sometimes see guys checking out other guys. I tend to watch for the reverse: a total lack of checking out girls. As far as I can see, straight guys often let their eyes wander towards attractive girls in the vicinity, while gay guys (obviously) rarely do so. Also, there's this eye-rolling movement some people occasionally make. I've seen it happen more in gay guys than in straight guys. But it's hardly a 1-on-1 corellation. -Pronoun games. A lot of gay people don't like to lie outright. So if matters of relationships come up, they usually resort to gender-neutral pronouns rather than flat-out lying. Straight guys usually are more direct in saying "I (don't) have a girlfriend". -Generally, if you give subtle hints that you might be gay, or OK with gay people, you can see that gay people do pick up on hints more easily than straight people. Some even start hinting back. However, I can only reiterate that this is all highly circumstantial evidence at best. In most cases it's hard to confirm an impression, and quite a few guys will fly under the radar. But making smalltalk isn't necessarily a bad waste of time anyway... __________________ To the world, you're somebody, but to somebody, you're the world...

24th Aug 2009, 09:32 AM	#10
Swamp56 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Boston, MA Age: 21 Posts: 2,166 Join Date: Aug 2008	Re: How would you know? My gaydar gets tainted since hot guys tend to trigger it xD . My nana has one of the best gaydars I've ever seen though lol. __________________

24th Aug 2009, 08:36 PM	#11
Alex19 who else but me? Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: homo Out Status: I think everyone knows by now Location: New York Age: 21 Posts: 1,301 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: How would you know? my gaydar suxxxx. like, big time. i can only spot the obvious ones doesnt really help me much __________________ "It's always darkest before dawn."