crushing on friends?

[ADTR fan]

personally i HATE crushing on friends for several reasons. 1) they all have been straight [unfortunately i don't personally know that many bi/lesbian girls] 2) i get insanely jealous when they interact with my other friends. for example, two of my friends (E and O for now) were sitting on a couch at camp and i was on a different couch with my other friend. I was currently crushing on O and she and E fell asleep on each others shoulders. now O looked soo cute i was sooo jealous. and 3) i always fall fast and hard for my friends and then am over them in a few days/weeks. the problem is, during that crushing span, i hate them being around ANYONE else. and of course another problem is that all the friends i've liked, (at least the female friends) i'm not out to... grrr fml

[Tokarov]

It's simple.

Just get over it.

[ADTR fan]

yeah luckily im over them now but i was at camp when it hit and it was awfullllll

[Tokarov]

Originally Posted by ADTR fan

yeah luckily im over them now but i was at camp when it hit and it was awfullllll

That sucks. I've been there.
It's probably just me but I'm tired of people crying over it. I've been there. You really just need to get over it.

But I'm happy to hear you're doing good now.

[malachite]

It's odd I have a few girl friends that I could see myself being really into if I wasn't...yeah know gay.

[Swamp56]

Originally Posted by Tokarov

It's simple.

Just get over it.

That's not always easy.

[Tokarov]

Originally Posted by Swamp56

That's not always easy.

No it's not easy, but it's the only way to get through it.

[chiixrose]

i so know how you feel only a couple of my friends know that i am bi. now all my girl friends are really really okay with sexuallity and love to tease people, little do they know that i have or had a crush on them. but girls are so hard to read. i am a girl and i think its annoying how annoying girls can be.

plus curshing on friends hurt because when you do date them, when you break up you totally lost a friend after words its a pain in the butt.

[carrie90]

Ye these are annoying problems but the good thing about crush's they go away easy and you move on so you just have to put up with little this annoyance

[halfy]

i think i have the problem of falling hard and fast for my friends. i fell for my straight friend and got crushed when she ditched me as a friend when she found out. then i really liked this girl that was my drinking buddy, then she got with someone else. now i'm crushing on a friend who's gay, and knows i'm bi. i think there's a spark there, but i'm not sure how to go about it. also, i do get the jealousy thing, which worries me because i shouldn't obsess so much about my feelings. i'm glad you're over your crush. i know how you feel though.

[malachite]

Originally Posted by Tokarov

It's simple.

Just get over it.

it's rarely that simple.

[Mr Bojangles]

It's a pain in the posterior, I must admit. I'm attracted to (for the want of a better word) 'Straight' Guys

[Just Adam]

nothings worse than falling for your friends

[cicciux]

Think about it... who on earth are you more comfortable with? I'd like to say it's my mother, but really... it isn't. Gay people usually feel alone, because nobody really understands what you are going through until you come out... and once you actually come out... well, the damage is already done. True, if they take it well, it's easier... but the loneliness... it stays with you forever. So, as a group, sexual minorities (gay, lesbian, transgender, bisexual, transexual, etc) tend to form what is commonly knows as 'second family'. It's simply a group of people with whom we feel comfortable. This group is usually comprised of our closest friends.... people we even come to think of as family.

Add this bond to the ongoing confusion of comming out and sheer teenagery (does that word exist? meaning the condition of been a teen). And you have a whirlwind of feelings mixed with hormones that lead to these crushes.

I've had my fair share of Straight Friend Crushes... one of them even lasted for two years (we were friends, classmates and did almost every paper together at college... so... we spent a lot of time together... perhaps more than each did with their partner).

I've found (later than I would have liked) that trying to understand the true feelings I had for someone usually dispel the crush. For instance I would picture myself having sex with this particular friend, or going to a movie o simply laying in bed talking... all those situations felt awkward... that's how I knew it wouldn't work and got over the crush.

hth
Alan.-

[Tokarov]

Originally Posted by malachite

it's rarely that simple.

Actually it is. Show me another way to get over someone and I'll admit I was wrong.

[Just Adam]

Originally Posted by Tokarov

Actually it is. Show me another way to get over someone and I'll admit I was wrong.

feelings really arent a switch you can turn on and off... when you love someone you cant just say get over it >.> you need time... its a painful long experience...

[myou725]

I can relate to most posts in so many ways. here is a question. If you tell a friend you are bi and there is no OTHER reason to reveal this...is that a sign you are into them and want to know where they stand sexually??

[Rooni321]

Originally Posted by Just Adam

feelings really arent a switch you can turn on and off... when you love someone you cant just say get over it >.> you need time... its a painful long experience...

Ditto.

[toaster]

Originally Posted by ADTR fan

personally i HATE crushing on friends for several reasons. 1) they all have been straight [unfortunately i don't personally know that many bi/lesbian girls] 2) i get insanely jealous when they interact with my other friends. for example, two of my friends (E and O for now) were sitting on a couch at camp and i was on a different couch with my other friend. I was currently crushing on O and she and E fell asleep on each others shoulders. now O looked soo cute i was sooo jealous. and 3) i always fall fast and hard for my friends and then am over them in a few days/weeks. the problem is, during that crushing span, i hate them being around ANYONE else. and of course another problem is that all the friends i've liked, (at least the female friends) i'm not out to... grrr fml

I can be related somehow. I have this crush on my best mate, and I turned out to be such an annoying person bugging him constantly and drives him away. My advise, hide those feelings and never ever express them (unless they're into same sex relationship.)

[fiddledeedee]

Originally Posted by myou725

I can relate to most posts in so many ways. here is a question. If you tell a friend you are bi and there is no OTHER reason to reveal this...is that a sign you are into them and want to know where they stand sexually??

No. It is a sign that it is something about you that you want to share, and only if you want it to be does it become a sign of interest or need for support or something. None of my friends who I told without reason took it as a sign of interst (literally, "Changing the subject briefly, what would you think if I was bisexual?" "Um, that's fine I guess, ayway..."), though when I came out to everyone they did think (falsely) that I fancied a girl – how else would I have started questioning? If you don't want to indicate interest in your friend, just state that you don't fancy them, great as they are.

---

I'm currently crushing on a friend I've had for as long as I can remember, though I have only "like-liked" him for a year now ( ). We now share most classes, and everyone says we should go out but we are adamant that we don't fancy eachother. Sigh...