awkward much? - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

ADTR fan · 1st Sep 2009, 05:47 PM

so the other day at my hockey practice, our coach had asked around for cheers. the dialogue goes something like this:

girl 1: columbia cougars!
girl 2: JV 09!
coach: we're not doing that one. its GAY
girl 3: you can't say that. that's derogatory
coach: i can say what i want to say. but i'm only kidding about the gay thing.

now maybe it's just me but if you really don't mean it, why say it in the first place? i'm not out to these girls OR the coach, but i think there may be a gay girl on the team, and at least for me it was an awkward situation, because people were laughing. if i don't laugh does it make me defensive, but if i do laugh doesn't that make me a coward and a hypocrite?
any opinions or similar stories?

1st Sep 2009, 06:24 PM

I really hate when people say "that's so gay". I ve had my gay friends say "that's so straight" and we laugh but hetros get mad. Then we point out what they just said. It reminds me of when people say "Its a black/white/north/south/ect thing". I ignore it because its ignorance but that doesn't make it go away or solve it.

xballetxbeautyx · 1st Sep 2009, 07:26 PM

I don't think not laughing makes you defensive. I always call people out for saying something is 'gay' in a derogatory way. Especially for a coach to have said that is really not okay, (s)he could be a role model for some people and that's just encouraging them to say it as well.

ADTR fan · 1st Sep 2009, 08:23 PM

yeah, I generally call my friends out, even the ones i'm not out to, because its immature and offensive. but with the coach, i'm.. intimidated? mainly because as you said, she a role-model for others, but also because i've heard stories that if you don't kiss her ass, she doesn't play you. i guess i'd better listen to shimmi and just grin and bear it

Tokarov · 1st Sep 2009, 08:30 PM

I say "That's so gay."

Meh. I don't really care. It's not like anyone will change what they say anyway.

carrie90 · 2nd Sep 2009, 12:16 PM

If you don't feel wanna laugh then don't, be true to yourself

1st Sep 2009, 05:47 PM	#1
ADTR fan EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: Out to everyone Location: NJ Age: 17 Posts: 461 Join Date: Aug 2009	awkward much? so the other day at my hockey practice, our coach had asked around for cheers. the dialogue goes something like this: girl 1: columbia cougars! girl 2: JV 09! coach: we're not doing that one. its GAY girl 3: you can't say that. that's derogatory coach: i can say what i want to say. but i'm only kidding about the gay thing. now maybe it's just me but if you really don't mean it, why say it in the first place? i'm not out to these girls OR the coach, but i think there may be a gay girl on the team, and at least for me it was an awkward situation, because people were laughing. if i don't laugh does it make me defensive, but if i do laugh doesn't that make me a coward and a hypocrite? any opinions or similar stories?

1st Sep 2009, 06:24 PM	#2
Shimmi Guest Posts: n/a	Re: awkward much? I really hate when people say "that's so gay". I ve had my gay friends say "that's so straight" and we laugh but hetros get mad. Then we point out what they just said. It reminds me of when people say "Its a black/white/north/south/ect thing". I ignore it because its ignorance but that doesn't make it go away or solve it.

1st Sep 2009, 07:26 PM	#3
xballetxbeautyx Heterodox Homosexual Full Member Gender: (.)(.) Orientation: Kinsey 5? Ish? Out Status: If you don't know, where have you been all my life Location: Midwest USA Age: 17 Posts: 1,719 Join Date: Mar 2008	Re: awkward much? I don't think not laughing makes you defensive. I always call people out for saying something is 'gay' in a derogatory way. Especially for a coach to have said that is really not okay, (s)he could be a role model for some people and that's just encouraging them to say it as well. __________________ I can't go to Pigfarts! IT'S ON MARS. You need a rocketship! Do you have a rocketship, Potter? Look at this - it's Rocketship Potter! Starkid Potter! Moonshoes Potter! Traversing the galaxy for intergalactic travels to Pigfarts!

1st Sep 2009, 08:23 PM	#4
ADTR fan EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: Out to everyone Location: NJ Age: 17 Posts: 461 Join Date: Aug 2009	Re: awkward much? yeah, I generally call my friends out, even the ones i'm not out to, because its immature and offensive. but with the coach, i'm.. intimidated? mainly because as you said, she a role-model for others, but also because i've heard stories that if you don't kiss her ass, she doesn't play you. i guess i'd better listen to shimmi and just grin and bear it

1st Sep 2009, 08:30 PM	#5
Tokarov Banned Gender: Male Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: Some people Location: Southern California Age: 20 Posts: 688 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: awkward much? I say "That's so gay." Meh. I don't really care. It's not like anyone will change what they say anyway.

2nd Sep 2009, 12:16 PM	#6
carrie90 The square root of 4 is rainbows Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Gay Out Status: everybody really Location: Originally Montana but currently San Fransisco Age: 21 Posts: 1,327 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: awkward much? If you don't feel wanna laugh then don't, be true to yourself __________________ I empower my Cheerios to live in fear by creating an enviorment of irrational, random terror -Sue Sylvester

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