Which Dad and which Mom? - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

18th Sep 2009, 01:50 PM

So you know how same sex couples can adopt babies well yes. Well some people tend to ask "well if there are two dads/moms how would the kid be able to tell one from the other since theres no mom and dad?" like the kid would call their parent dad/mom and not know which parent they are calling. You get me.

What I think is that one dad should be called Dad and the other Daddy, and Mom or Mommy.

What is your idea to differentiate parents when it comes to children in a same sex couple family?

Shevanel · 18th Sep 2009, 03:46 PM

I made an almost identical thread to this awhile ago which is HERE
^_^

mattypants · 18th Sep 2009, 06:06 PM

taking a page from kris [from quoted thread], the children find what works for them.

i never particularly liked the whole "this is dad, this is mom. end of discussion" type thingys, but thats probly cause i didnt grow up calling them mom or dad...but i was still able to make distictions so

everything worked out there

NickT · 18th Sep 2009, 06:14 PM

Not that that I'm into kids...they freak me out and/or annoy me...but I think I'll end up going with the dad/daddy thing. Or Dad/Milord. :3

18th Sep 2009, 07:27 PM

oh wow really i didnt know that sorry i just was thinking of that for a while, thought it was just me, i didnt copy it though sorry, and lols on milord, where that come from, well still i came up with my own answer, but ur cool

beckyg · 18th Sep 2009, 09:27 PM

I have a friend who with her husband insisted their children call them "mama" and "papa". You'll probably know what feels right when the time comes.

Gaydar · 18th Sep 2009, 11:45 PM

I'd probably say whatever the kid likes and/or gets in the habit of... I've always thought that if I ever adopted (having my own is out of the question), I'd let them call me by my first name. I'm pretty sure that that's going to be the norm in 30 years or so (just think -- 40 years ago I'd be calling my dad "Sir.")

Gaetan · 19th Sep 2009, 12:38 AM

I remember reading an article about this. One boy--man by the time of the article--simply called both of his mothers "mom". One anecdote in the article was a time he shouted "Mom!" from his room. One of the women, just outside, peeked her head in. "Yeees...?" His response, "Other mom."

Astaroth · 19th Sep 2009, 12:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gaetan

I remember reading an article about this. One boy--man by the time of the article--simply called both of his mothers "mom". One anecdote in the article was a time he shouted "Mom!" from his room. One of the women, just outside, peeked her head in. "Yeees...?" His response, "Other mom."

Aww, that was cute!

Yeah, I'd either go that route or possibly have each parent sort of 'adopt' an unconventional nickname. I have a friend who calls her grandmother 'mema' and her mother 'momma'. It could be something that simple.

Just Adam · 19th Sep 2009, 01:10 AM

id be teh 'mum' if its required i got no problem with it

but i think its better for the child to understand that he/she has two dadys or mummys and why its like this and that they are loved very much...

its like when kids are taught stupid kiddy names for things by adults as its cute >.> ... i remember my sisters gran.. not mine, kept saying a bird was a tweet tweet >.> i told my 4 year old sister no its a bird ! ...im rambling lol

Stuie · 19th Sep 2009, 01:16 AM

Someone I know has lesbian parents. He calls his biological mother mum and his other mother by her first name. So I guess that that is one way to do it.

**Chip** · 19th Sep 2009, 02:14 AM

When I was at college I had several friends with lesbian parents. I think calling them both "mom" (and, like Gaetan said, occasionally had to say "other mom") was common; one did "Mom" and "Mother".

starfish · 19th Sep 2009, 11:01 PM

Easy.

From ages 2-12 it "Dad, no I meant other dad"
From ages 13-21 "I hate you"

MusicIsLife · 19th Sep 2009, 11:20 PM

I think it'd probably be something like Mom/Mommy ____ and our names, like Mama Lucy and Mama Jane or whatever :P

20th Sep 2009, 05:35 PM

those are some cool ideas and interesting story on the other mom answer

**Meropspusillus** · 20th Sep 2009, 05:47 PM

I know a couple who are "mom" and "imah" (hebrew for mom) to their daughters. Another couple are mom and mommy. There seems to be next to no confusion for the kid or the parents.

xballetxbeautyx · 20th Sep 2009, 06:19 PM

I've got two moms, and it does get a bit confusing sometimes. My biological mother is one of them, my sister's biological mother is the other one (but they used the same sperm donor, so we really are related! Sorry lol, I just think that's really cool). Anyways, when I was born my biological mom was mom or mommy or whatever, I guess since she was first. Then, my sister was born and because she couldn't say her biological mom's name (they had planned on using "Mommy X") it became "mommydoo." So we have mom and mommydoo to this day.

We'll use first names too, if we're in a hurry and the wrong one answers, and I must say we're very guilty of the "other mom!" thing.

RaeofLite · 20th Sep 2009, 09:20 PM

Think like the Lword.

Tina and Bette had a baby with a sperm donor. They were called Momma T and Momma B. Cute, but gets the job done.

joss22 · 20th Sep 2009, 09:26 PM

I have a friend who has two moms, she usually calls them by their first names, but when she says 'mom' it means her biological mom.

**lostinthought9** · 21st Sep 2009, 10:57 AM

Hmm...why did I not see that thread Joey made?

Anyways, I'll just post in this one. I've been thinking about this lately too, because I just recently decided I want kids lol. I'd probably go the dad/daddy route.

18th Sep 2009, 01:50 PM	#1
BayeBorde Guest Posts: n/a	Which Dad and which Mom? So you know how same sex couples can adopt babies well yes. Well some people tend to ask "well if there are two dads/moms how would the kid be able to tell one from the other since theres no mom and dad?" like the kid would call their parent dad/mom and not know which parent they are calling. You get me. What I think is that one dad should be called Dad and the other Daddy, and Mom or Mommy. What is your idea to differentiate parents when it comes to children in a same sex couple family?

18th Sep 2009, 03:46 PM	#2
Shevanel One Is Light. One Is Dark. Full Member Gender: The Dude Orientation: Bi-Winning Out Status: Everybody and Your Mom. Location: Bolivar, Ohio (From NY though) Age: 21 Posts: 7,672 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: Which Dad and which Mom? I made an almost identical thread to this awhile ago which is HERE ^_^ __________________ If there were no rewards to reap, No loving embrace to see me through this tedious path I've chosen here, I certainly would've walked away by now. Gonna wait it out... Be patient.

18th Sep 2009, 06:06 PM	#3
mattypants Chacun à son goût Full Member Gender: male/garçon/hombre Orientation: Gay Out Status: Some friends Some family and the lesbians Location: Los angeles, Ca Posts: 2,733 Join Date: Oct 2008	Re: Which Dad and which Mom? taking a page from kris [from quoted thread], the children find what works for them. i never particularly liked the whole "this is dad, this is mom. end of discussion" type thingys, but thats probly cause i didnt grow up calling them mom or dad...but i was still able to make distictions so everything worked out there __________________

18th Sep 2009, 06:14 PM	#4
NickT Mr. Grammar Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Kentucky Posts: 985 Join Date: Sep 2009	Re: Which Dad and which Mom? Not that that I'm into kids...they freak me out and/or annoy me...but I think I'll end up going with the dad/daddy thing. Or Dad/Milord. :3

18th Sep 2009, 07:27 PM	#5
BayeBorde Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Which Dad and which Mom? oh wow really i didnt know that sorry i just was thinking of that for a while, thought it was just me, i didnt copy it though sorry, and lols on milord, where that come from, well still i came up with my own answer, but ur cool Last edited by BayeBorde; 18th Sep 2009 at 07:29 PM..

18th Sep 2009, 09:27 PM	#6
beckyg PFLAG Mom Community Liaison Gender: Female Orientation: Straight Out Status: Out to everyone/Yes, parents come out too! Location: Middle of Oregon Age: 50 Posts: 7,572 Join Date: Mar 2007	Re: Which Dad and which Mom? I have a friend who with her husband insisted their children call them "mama" and "papa". You'll probably know what feels right when the time comes. __________________ "When we're free to love anyone we choose, When this worlds big enough for all different views, When we're all free to worship from our own kind of pew, Then we shall be free" ~ Garth Brooks

18th Sep 2009, 11:45 PM	#7
Gaydar Macho Macho Man (not) Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Not sure (still trying to figure it out) Out Status: Not out at all Location: Near Chi-town Age: 18 Posts: 28 Join Date: Sep 2009	Re: Which Dad and which Mom? I'd probably say whatever the kid likes and/or gets in the habit of... I've always thought that if I ever adopted (having my own is out of the question), I'd let them call me by my first name. I'm pretty sure that that's going to be the norm in 30 years or so (just think -- 40 years ago I'd be calling my dad "Sir.")

19th Sep 2009, 12:38 AM	#8
Gaetan DON'T TOUCH THE HAT! Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Immediate Family and Friends Location: Idaho, USA Age: 25 Posts: 1,098 Join Date: Sep 2009	Re: Which Dad and which Mom? I remember reading an article about this. One boy--man by the time of the article--simply called both of his mothers "mom". One anecdote in the article was a time he shouted "Mom!" from his room. One of the women, just outside, peeked her head in. "Yeees...?" His response, "Other mom." __________________ Those who say it cannot be done, shouldn't interrupt the people doing it.

19th Sep 2009, 01:10 AM	#10
Just Adam Just passing through Full Member Gender: Something Orientation: Dunno Out Status: If they ask i will tell them Location: Wherever Age: 23 Posts: 6,002 Join Date: Mar 2009	Re: Which Dad and which Mom? id be teh 'mum' if its required i got no problem with it but i think its better for the child to understand that he/she has two dadys or mummys and why its like this and that they are loved very much... its like when kids are taught stupid kiddy names for things by adults as its cute >.> ... i remember my sisters gran.. not mine, kept saying a bird was a tweet tweet >.> i told my 4 year old sister no its a bird ! ...im rambling lol __________________ There Used To Be A Point Of Things.

19th Sep 2009, 01:16 AM	#11
Stuie Hugs - $POA Full Member Gender: e^(πi) +1 = 0 Orientation: Schnoo Out Status: Moo Cow Location: Canberra, Australia Age: 19 Posts: 1,463 Join Date: Aug 2008	Re: Which Dad and which Mom? Someone I know has lesbian parents. He calls his biological mother mum and his other mother by her first name. So I guess that that is one way to do it. __________________ STRAAAAAAAAAAAWURUWERT AND THE LESBIANS! MADDATRON3000X's (Maddy) Fag Hag Loves Pauline in the form of the equation f(x): (-∞,2) -> R, 2^-x

19th Sep 2009, 02:14 AM	#12
Chip EC Advisor EC Admin Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: northern CA Posts: 5,576 Join Date: May 2008	Re: Which Dad and which Mom? When I was at college I had several friends with lesbian parents. I think calling them both "mom" (and, like Gaetan said, occasionally had to say "other mom") was common; one did "Mom" and "Mother".

19th Sep 2009, 11:01 PM	#13
starfish This space for lease. Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: I like guys Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Hippie Town, Alberta of the US Age: 31 Posts: 2,108 Join Date: Nov 2008	Re: Which Dad and which Mom? Easy. From ages 2-12 it "Dad, no I meant other dad" From ages 13-21 "I hate you" __________________ All the problems of the world could be settled easily if men were only willing to think. The trouble is that men very often resort to all sorts of devices in order not to think, because thinking is such hard work. --Thomas J. Watson

19th Sep 2009, 11:20 PM	#14
MusicIsLife EC Addict Full Member Gender: Not even sure anymore. Something in between. Orientation: I like girls :) Out Status: Everyone on orientation 7 people on trans issue. Location: Montréal, QC Age: 23 Posts: 1,595 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Which Dad and which Mom? I think it'd probably be something like Mom/Mommy ____ and our names, like Mama Lucy and Mama Jane or whatever :P

20th Sep 2009, 05:35 PM	#15
BayeBorde Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Which Dad and which Mom? those are some cool ideas and interesting story on the other mom answer

20th Sep 2009, 05:47 PM	#16
Meropspusillus RAWR DINOSAURS EC Chat Mod Gender: I make the small motile sex cells. Orientation: I like people who make small motile sex cells. Out Status: CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP Location: Indiana or New Mexico. Who knows? Age: 22 Posts: 895 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: Which Dad and which Mom? I know a couple who are "mom" and "imah" (hebrew for mom) to their daughters. Another couple are mom and mommy. There seems to be next to no confusion for the kid or the parents. __________________ (Insert witty signature here)

20th Sep 2009, 06:19 PM	#17
xballetxbeautyx Heterodox Homosexual Full Member Gender: (.)(.) Orientation: Kinsey 5? Ish? Out Status: If you don't know, where have you been all my life Location: Midwest USA Age: 17 Posts: 1,719 Join Date: Mar 2008	Re: Which Dad and which Mom? I've got two moms, and it does get a bit confusing sometimes. My biological mother is one of them, my sister's biological mother is the other one (but they used the same sperm donor, so we really are related! Sorry lol, I just think that's really cool). Anyways, when I was born my biological mom was mom or mommy or whatever, I guess since she was first. Then, my sister was born and because she couldn't say her biological mom's name (they had planned on using "Mommy X") it became "mommydoo." So we have mom and mommydoo to this day. We'll use first names too, if we're in a hurry and the wrong one answers, and I must say we're very guilty of the "other mom!" thing. __________________ I can't go to Pigfarts! IT'S ON MARS. You need a rocketship! Do you have a rocketship, Potter? Look at this - it's Rocketship Potter! Starkid Potter! Moonshoes Potter! Traversing the galaxy for intergalactic travels to Pigfarts!

20th Sep 2009, 09:20 PM	#18
RaeofLite I've got the moves like Jagger Full Member Gender: ♀ Orientation: Sapphicly inclined Out Status: My closet is for clothes! Location: BC, Canada Age: 23 Posts: 3,111 Join Date: Apr 2009	Re: Which Dad and which Mom? Think like the Lword. Tina and Bette had a baby with a sperm donor. They were called Momma T and Momma B. Cute, but gets the job done. __________________ People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." -Bonnie Jean Wasmund (and the lesbians)

20th Sep 2009, 09:26 PM	#19
joss22 Toasty Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to two friends Location: Massachusetts Age: 20 Posts: 286 Join Date: Jan 2009	Re: Which Dad and which Mom? I have a friend who has two moms, she usually calls them by their first names, but when she says 'mom' it means her biological mom. __________________ ? + ! = ‽ & ؟♥?

21st Sep 2009, 10:57 AM	#20
lostinthought9 EC's Biggest Xena Fan EC Moderator Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: A few people Location: Louisiana Age: 21 Posts: 2,059 Join Date: Jan 2008	Re: Which Dad and which Mom? Hmm...why did I not see that thread Joey made? Anyways, I'll just post in this one. I've been thinking about this lately too, because I just recently decided I want kids lol. I'd probably go the dad/daddy route. __________________