Fairness

well I did that to my mom. I came out to her then told her not to tell my dad I think it was hard for her to keep a secret like that from my dad but she did anyway and she was there to support me later on when I decided to come out to my dad. It's nice to have the support of the one parent you think will accept you easier for when you want to tell the other parent.

 

really well I told my mom who was accepting and supportive (after a long uncomfortable conversation) and then 6 months later I told my dad so she kept it a secret for 6 months and she didn't seem to mind it either. good luck and tell us how it went.

 

I think it is fair as long as you have the good reason why you did that. For like "my mom isn't religious but my dad is, so I think I'm gonna come out to mom first and get support from her" But like "Hmm...I feel like to come out to my dad today but today is not the day to come out to mom, so I think I'm gonna ask dad to keep it secret" is just stupid and very annoying.

I think it will be good if you can come out to both parent or every friends at same time but it's not that easy. So I think it's ok to come out to one person and ask to keep it secret.

 

My mom ignored my request not to tell my dad. I don't trust her very much anymore, as a result. I don't know if that was just my family or not.

 

Personally, I think the only way this is a good idea is if the parents are separated, or if you know one will totally flip out (i.e. religious zealot) and the other won't. Outside of that, I'd say that parents should be treated as "one," as it were. They generally lean on each other for support, and their lives are so intertwined that to ask one parent to keep something like a gay child a secret just for the sake of comfort is a bit much to ask, at least in my opinion...

 

Well, I told my mum a while ago that I'm bi, because I didn't know how to tell her I was lesbian, and I think she's always wanted grandchildren from me. And on top of that, I asked her not to tell my dad, because he is very stuck in his ways. He's not a religious person, but he is very homophobic, as is my younger brother.
I do plan to come out to the whole family properly in the next few weeks though. I'm getting there, I swear.

 

That's one of the reasons I'm not coming out to my parents yet, I can imagine the first thing them telling people being "Well I guess we won't be getting any grandchildren from this one" Even though I'm bi, not lesbian. That and then bugging me all the time about all the guys I hang out with ex. "So what about *insert guy friend's name here*?"

But in response to your question, like everyone else has said, unless you've got a good reason for only telling one parent at a time, I think you should definetely tell both.

As for friends and other people.. Well, it's sort of difficult to come out to your friends all at the same time unless you want to make a huge announcement or something so I think it's fair if you tell them one at a time. Unless of course you're in a bit of a tight knit group. I have a friend I want to tell, but I haven't yet because I couldn't do it without telling a bit of a homophobe friend of mine. I'd feel too guilty because the three of us always do stuff together, I'd feel completely wrong telling one and not the other, even at the risk of our friendship.

 

I hope you're right.. Well, she's not really my friend if she can't handle me being bi..

She was slightly scared of lesbians before a couple of months ago (I don't think she hated gay guys as one of her best friends admitted he was bi earlier this year, she'd had her suspicions) but yeah a couple of months ago she was at a party and a drunk girl attempted making out with her and then her boyfriend used it as an excuse to break up with her (they'd been on the rocks for ages anyway) and after that happened she went like completely homophobic and refused to even hang out with that bi guy she's friends with for ages. SO yeah.. lol ^_^; ah wells, I'm not really worried about it, it's unfortunate for her really. Maybe I'll cure her homophobicness.

 

Yep, yep, I agree whole heartedly. Someone who rejects you for being yourself was never your friend to begin with.

 

I've told my Mum but not my Dad. I think it's fair enough though, because I spend 98% of my time living with my Mum because my parents are divorced and Dad lives a 2 hour drive away.
There is no proper way to come out to your parents, and if telling one parent before the other (or even one and not the other), makes you feel most comfortable, then by all means - do it that way.