The resident fag?

[Gumtree]

A question directed at those who are/were closeted during their schooling years.

How did you perceive the open gay guys at your school (if there were any that is)?

I have been thinking a lot lately of how other gay guys might perceive me or other open guys at my school, but more specifically at my older school which I moved from earlier in the year.

My old school had 900 kids and I was the only open gay guy attending (I have been out since early year 8). I always thought it strange that I had never been approached by many other gay guys in secret/confidence, so it got me to questioning how open gay guys are perceived by those closeted.

In what way has witnessing open gay guys in your school influenced your coming out, and have/did you approach/ed them in confidence about your sexuality?

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Personally, I can see how I could have been intimidating; I suppose you could say I was at the top of the social ladder for a highschool and was rather extroverted. I can see how approaching me would have been a rather exposing and intimidating experience, and combined with the fear that you might be outed by association it wouldn't be my first choice of person to come out to.

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Ooops, I forgot to include an "Other" option!

It was hard trying to think of poll options for the question so I doubt they will suit many people 100%, so feel free to offer your own words/thoughts!

And finally, I just realized that I said 'guys' and 'gay' a bit much intentionally; the question is totally applicable to you girls as well!

[Just Adam]

well i wasent out and teh gay guys werent out as such ...but there wasent much hideing it...

i wasent really intimidated in school as i wasent sure of myself... but out nearly 2000 people oonly 1 was really kind of flaming ya know,

how did i see him... not great ...nothign to do with sexuality that never occured to me once what did though was the way he knew he made others feel awkward guys were pretty insecure at that age and he would go over the top to make them feel unpleasent and upset them... so yea no guys liked him... he just wasent nice...another guy the only other i hated also turns out well from what ive seen of him aroudn is now out...no surprise if i think about it but liek i say beeing gay didnt really come into the thought process back tehm too busy worryign on other things... but he was an ass...

if i had known about my sexuality would i have gotten on better with them ...no...they werent nice guys. i knew a woman though in school who was openly lesbian and was proud of it i liked talkign to her never realised why though lol i just liked her honesty...

for me it wasent till college i realised i wasent straight that was a rough process ...and i didnt know any other lgbt people at all by then... so it kinda felt me against world...well nothign new...though these days its more against the world and myself but meh...

but in college would it of been intimidating or scary to know a gay or bi guy, no it would of been great someone i could chat with and hang out with who understood me, hopefully accept me.

but yea... its all good and in teh end i think it just comes down to the person and wha tyou would feel comfortable with, i think if your a nice careing person will see that more than sexuality and will be accepting of it. those who arent and cant get passed such a small barrier then well... not really worth knowing...

but really you shouldent worry how others see you aslogn as your happy with yourself then what others think really dont matter and most are thinking the same as you are worrying about how others see them. you never know beeing openly out could have someone befriend you and come out to you.

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p.s im not sure my post makes any sense lol...i ramble to much...sorry :S

[kettleoffish]

I was (and still am) the first and only openly gay guy in my school, except for one guy who was in his last year (age 17-18) when I was in my first (age 11-12), who I didn't know or ever speak to.

[Just Adam]

the one thing that has allways got me and it i felt it at college was there was never any help if you were lgbt and struggleing or alone... no gsa's or anything... if i had been battleing my sexuality in school it would of been hell... my small blessing is i figured mine out kinda at end of school..so yea if a kid had to go through that hideing away ...

[Blazer]

Being at a Catholic school, there aren't too many open gay guys. But the ones that you knew are gay are pretty flamboyant. But with a school population of 1200, I don't know if people are gay unless they are usually flamboyant - that the only gay people that I know are flamboyant. It's not a very widely talked about thing in the school. :L
So it's a one sided competition, I suppose.

[Davo]

There weren't any openly gay guys in my school

[AtomicCafe]

At my first high school, there were no openly gay students. (Well, one openly transgendered student, but she only joined us the year I was leaving.) Our only open person was a teacher, who everyone on campus absolutely loved. He taught there for a long time, but he actually came out while I was at the school. Suddenly, tons of kids started to come out and be more open. Overall, I'd say he led that influence, which made me choose option one.

At the second school I went to, however, I was the only openly gay student. (Extremely religious school.) I wasn't treated too badly, and I didn't act flamboyantly, just let people know I date girls if they happened to ask. For the most part, it was ignored and presumed I was joking around.

[xequar]

I would've liked to see an option for "There were no open gays." In my school, the couple of people that were suspected of being gay (rural farm town in the late '90s) got the ever-loving snot beaten out of them.

[Pseudojim]

We only had one openly gay guy in my grade, he was charming. He was out from the very first day of year 7. Lots of people refused to be friends with him, i was one of the few who got along very well with him.

[Gaetan]

There were no openly gay people at my high school. Closest there was was a bisexual guy one year above me. I was somewhat friends with him, mostly because we sat next to each other in math class.

[stratavos]

most of the out ones in my college are in the preforming arts programs, so since I'm kinda out of luck there with being in the ceramics one.

we didnt have any openly gay guys at my schools. a few were thought to have been gay tho but nothing was made of it. i think my last school was pretty accepting of people. i know a few of them that ended up gay after school tho. im friends with one or two.

All the gay guys at me school were toothpicks, materialistic, and flamboyant. I couldnt relate to them if I gave them my kidney. They reminded me of those girls from that MTV show The Hills but worse. They were past stereotypical.

[prester]

There were no openly gay people at my school, which was admittedly a long time ago. However the general atmosphere was not supportive. That's reserved English for very homophobic.

I suspected some other people were gay but I wasn't about to come out and talk about it.

Prester

[redsapphire]

There is one other gay person in my school, and he's in my music class. I find him great, he's so much fun to be around and he's really approachable.

There were about ten openly gay people in my school, one being my technical theater teacher (he'd kill me right now if he saw how I spelled theater ).

A majority of them were girls, and maybe three of them were very flamboyant guys. I actually didn't get along with the guys. They were kinda rude to everyone.

[George]

The only openly gay guys at my school for the past 3-4 years have all been well.. Fags. Like, they'd act so gay that it was just revolting. >_>
However now there's a couple of down to earth people coming out of the closet, but either way I don't really hang out with them. They're nice and all, but not the type of people I'd really want to be friends with.

[Neoh]

There are actually quite a few at my school

only 3 gays guys though... 2 of which are incredibly flamboyant, the other is kinda cute though :P

The rest are all girls, most of which are Bi and one MtF trans.

It's not that I don't want to be associated with these people, it's really just more that they aren't my type of people. Most of the "out" girls are sort of goth, the "out" guys are just a little too fem for my tastes, and I don't really see the cute one around D:

I was indifferent to them, really. They were people, and people, even then, scared me. I wanted to try to make friends with them or at least talk to them...but just like any other people, I couldn't do it. Hell, I still can't do it. And it's not because of any fear of exposure on my part--I am more than out at school.

Social anxiety is just a bitch.

[Markio]

There was one gay student at my high school. We were in a barbershop quartet together, he was a good singer. He helped teach me how to support, vocally.

There was another gay student at my high school, didn't really say so out loud but was flamboyantly sexual in his choice of words. He was really hilarious.

There was another gay student at my high school, eventually came out my last year there. He was popular with the theatre girls, but I didn't know him that well.

I was a gay student at my high school. I was friends with the theatre kids, including the gay ones, but I feigned heterosexuality pretty well. No one knew I was gay until after I graduated. Then I told the above three.

I was definitely intimidated by their openness. I didn't really shy away from them, but we weren't naturally the best of friends, just because I was gay. My best friends from high school are straight, and male.