Anyway I dont see people go alone to gay bars and most people there go with groups of friends. Anyway with many gay bars out there I barely see anyone there by themselves. So if they go by themselves they feel left out. IN addition when people go with groups of people I dont really see many people speaking or interacting with others that are not in their group. That is why I am over the scene. I hear before the internet revolution much more people went to the gay bars by themselves and had no problem meeting people. However I know of people that go to gay bars themselves but find it very difficult to meet people there. I have to say the gay scene is becoming more pretentious as the years progress for that reason. Do any of you guys agree? Anyway do any of you guys know a gay bar where many people can go by themselves and not feel left out and see many others in there drinking by themselves? If so I want to go there. The only places where I see gay guys go by themselves is saunas and beats, but why dont the same guys consider going to bars by themselves too? I believe so so many guys that go to beats and saunas go there because they cant get sex or meet guys at the gay bars. I have seen many hot guys at beats and saunas and I feel they should not need to, but are compelled to do so as they have trouble meeting guys from gay bars and from internet sites.
Dude, well Idk about gay bar still. I live in Jamaica. But who is to tell that they are not just, out at the bar chilling from a stressful day. Personally, I would prefer going to a gay bar than a straight bar to catch a drink, even if the straight bar is better. I feel empowered supporting people to whom share a common goal. If u get what I mean; and then some. But, lets hear what the others say. *shrug*
well personally im kinda scared to go to a gay bar by myself. but then again, i dont live in the city, im a shy guy, and ive never been before. i just dont think it would be very fun by myself. i have a friend (sorta) who i met on internet and we were planning to go clubbing together sometime but it never happened. sounds kinda crap if like you said everyone just keeps in their little groups and dont mix. like, isnt that the point? yeah so id like to go just to try the scene, but by the sounds of it its really shallow and id prob hate it anyway. im hoping to meet boyfriends and the like at social/support groups when i go to uni.
I think it is important to go with a group just so as not to feel nervous. Once you're there, it isn't really necessary. Everyone sort of dances with everyone. Take some girls with you. Straight girls are ridiculously attracted to gay bars because the gays are awesome. That and they feel like they won't get hit on.
--------- Well yes it seems everyone keeps to their groups, however some gay bars are more pretentious than others esp ones that dont have a dance floor. I went to 2 gay bars on wkd and they did not have any dance floor and one was worse than the other. Sure at one bar there was alot of looking around and was there for a few hours and not once did I notice anyone where I could see chat outside anyone outside their group. However with dance bars a majority of people I see dance there is with the group of friends they are with. I even went to a gay support group and one of the most common things for gay guys there was they had trouble meeting guys, and some were even quite cute. I even know this guy that left this country to go back to England and he is hot because no one at gay bars and clubs really does not talk or flirt with him and states the gay bars in England are different and he has no trouble with guys over there comming up to him and talking and flirting. Maybe in Europe the gay scene is better and people are more able to approach you there than the gay scene in this city Melbourne or Sydney.
I wouldn't go to a gay bar alone,simply coz gay bars make me uncomfortable. If im being honest in my experience, i hate gay bars/clubs. I don't like the music, they're often more expensive than straight clubs, i don't like alot of the people, i don't like the atmosphere. Then again this is also the reason i know so few gay people
I think most straight bars are the same though. People don't go out alone generally speaking. But let me turn it around. How many people did you approach and talk to? I'm assuming none. Why should you expect other people to go out on a limb and approach you if you're not willing to do that yourself? Figure out how to meet people as friends. You've been to a support group. How many of those people did you talk to or exchange numbers with or invite out afterwards for a coffee? If you're all in the same boat (i.e. finding it hard to meet other guys) then why not at least hang out together?!? Ask some of them if they want to go to a gay bar with you. Not just one - because that might seem like you're asking them out on a date. Instead ask 2 or 3 of them if they want to join you. Then you're also out with a group and able to just enjoy yourself. So? How does that sound? Willing to give it a shot?
I agree with Jim’s comments above. Gay bars are not all that different than straight bars with respect to having fun if you are alone. People generally go out in a group or with someone else. It is fairly normal that people talk to those who they know and came with. I don’t think this means people there are unfriendly; they are just doing what people generally do. Having said that, there is no reason why you can’t strike up a conversation with someone and join them. It all depends whether you are comfortable doing that. There are also different kinds of gay bars. Some have dance music, some have pool tables, others do karaoke, etc. Just because one type of bar does not work for you does not mean others won’t. Similarly not all gay bars are frequented by the same types of people or have the same atmosphere. There are some that are pretentious and others where you feel right at home almost immediately. You just have to find what works for you. Maybe find a neighborhood type place, start going there and get to know the bartenders and regulars. This will not happen on the first visit or even the second. But, if you come back a few times and talk to people, before too long you will become one of the regulars and likely get to know other regulars. I think that most people feel uncomfortable going out alone and also with getting to know new people in new settings. It is not unusual. Remember that other guys at the bar may also be a bit uncomfortable at first talking with someone they don’t know. Gay or straight, it is very common in social settings for people to have some anxiety. Nonetheless, if you make the effort, there are opportunities to get to know people. One of the keys is the ability to make small talk, at first. Sometimes, just a comment to someone next to you about the weather, a song or music video playing, a game on TV, the crowd, or anything similar is enough to break the initial ice. Then, try to move the conversation along by responding to something the person said to you. Offer your hand and introduce yourself. Ask them if they have been to that bar before. Tell him you are new there. Ask him what are some of the hot nights to be there, or when they have drink specials, etc. Find out if there are similar places he enjoys. These are just some off the cuff questions to keep in mind to get the conversation started or to keep it going. Just be yourself and friendly. You may be surprised at how well those simple suggestions work.
I've gone alone to straight bars before in my city. (Then again we don't have gay bars here except maybe the odd gay dance at a community centre cities away). And I was surprised, there are sometimes couples looking for a third person, or bi girls. You never know. *shrug* As long as you watch your drinks, don't get into a bad situation (by drinking too much and losing track of things), and are open/friendly it might be ok.
i third this only times i go aloen is if im meeting people tehre or im allready drunka nd in a bad mood... goign on ya own jsut isnt fun so tehres no point you might aswell save money buy drink sit at home and look at porn..... which really defeates the purpose of everything.
I've been to gay clubs, but not bars. At the club you go to dance not to drink. You do drink. A lot. But you focus on dancing with your friends. I think there is a trend to switch away from actual bars where people sit and drink as opposed to dance.
Well I would find it too intimidating to approach a guy I dont know I fancy is with a group of people, and rather speak with him on a one to one basis. I guess a vast majority of guys out there are like that and could not approach a guy they liked but surrounded by a group of people especially if they are with a large group of people. Jim its been ages since I went to the support group and its not there anymore. Yes you are right Daniel people that go to bars focus on dancing with their friends and people feel left out on the dance floor if none of their friends are with them. The only parts of the bar I usually got to chance to meet guys at gay bars was a crusing area part as its more common for guys go there by themselves there.
I went to a gay club the other night by myself in Sydney. It was a little weird, but then again the club was quite dead. It picked up after an hour.....but still people stayed in their groups. It would be much nicer to have more interaction. I know if its a really busy club and people are all dancing together, then its much easier to be assertive and go up to somebody who you like and start dancing with them. Then they can easily move away if not interested or start dancing with you.
guess it all depends on where u go then. at the club i went to anyone dances with anyone. there is some groups but they dont seem to mind u joining in.
