Do you believe in 'your true love'? - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

Étoile · 18th Oct 2009, 10:11 AM

Do you believe that there's someone in the world made for you, someone you'll spend the rest of your life with? That you'll eventually end up with your true love somehow, some way?

I've always thought so. It seems a strange and almost supernatural idea. I am a hopeless romantic, so I like to daydream of the positive, whimsical parts of love.

RaeofLite · 18th Oct 2009, 10:15 AM

I think it's possible that you have one to three people you can truely fall head over heels for. At least in my opinion. I think I've already met one of them, but who knows? *shrug*

Katherine · 18th Oct 2009, 10:15 AM

I believe in it. I think I'd probably be miserably lonely if I didn't.

x2x2x2x2y2 · 18th Oct 2009, 10:17 AM

I admit I'm a bit of a romantic too but I don't believe there's only one person out there for you. I don't think that fate chooses who you are going to be with. I just think it's simply us just living. We choose who to be with.

Black Cat · 18th Oct 2009, 10:21 AM

Absolutely! I'm a crazed hopeless romantic, so I believe there is someone out there to complete everyone. I don't necessarily believe that people always know right away who that someone is though, it may be someone you’ve known forever as a close friend, or someone who’s just met you yesterday. I love to think of the idea of soul mates meeting by complete chance, and love developing out of that. Maybe I watch too many romantic movies, but I deep down know that there is someone for everyone. Besides, there are much crazier theories out there than true love.

18th Oct 2009, 10:24 AM

You can have true love without having 'the one true love'.
I mean, you can meet that perfect person who completes you without having it pre-assigned to you.

So no, I don't believe in the true love that you're talking about, but I do believe in true love.

carrie90 · 18th Oct 2009, 10:31 AM

Well I'm a hopeless romantic and I do believe that there is such a thing as "the one"

**Lexington** · 18th Oct 2009, 10:36 AM

I think it's utter bullshit.

There are two MAJOR problems (and more minor ones) in believing in having that one true love. First off, it means that absolutely everybody else is wrong for you. So you'll start discounting guys because they don't fit the ideal. "Well, he's nice and caring, but he's not as cute as he should be." "He really should be taller." Or if you DO give him a try, if ANY problem arises - which it will - you'll immediately start thinking "Gee, this isn't perfect sailing, so this guy must not be the right guy." It implies that people are like Superfection pieces.

...OK, just read that they don't make that game anymore. So quick explanation. There's a bunch of colored pieces. Each piece had exactly one partner that, when placed together, formed a cube. You had to make all the cubes, and then put them in the bin before time expired.

And secondly, relationships are not easy. It's not just the matter of finding the right guy, eyes locking, music swelling, floating over to each other, kissing, happily ever after. Sorry to say, but it's the real world. There are problems and issues to be worked through at all given times. Yes, having someone really compatible makes it a lot easier, but it doesn't mean they all take care of themselves.

Relationships aren't found. They're built. They're built by two people who love and care enough to put in the effort to make the relationship strong, and make the relationship work. And that's why people in stable LTRs often feel so proud of them. Because they didn't just get lucky, although you might say they were lucky to find the right person to build with. They're proud because they've actually accomplished something worth being proud of.

I don't want people to think that "any old guy will do". You need someone who is compatible with you, who you click with, and who clicks with you. And someone who is willing to put in the effort with you. And that's perhaps where the luck and magic comes in. But there's not just ONE person out there who fits this description. There are actually many. Your job is to find one. And then start building.

Lex

18th Oct 2009, 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Numfarh

You can have true love without having 'the one true love'.
I mean, you can meet that perfect person who completes you without having it pre-assigned to you.

So no, I don't believe in the true love that you're talking about, but I do believe in true love.

This, basically.

Edit: And what Lex said.

haelmarie · 18th Oct 2009, 10:53 AM

People change. I mean, if my true love was assigned to me a year ago, I probably wouldn't even like him now. So no, no "one and only" for me.

SilhouetteDream · 18th Oct 2009, 10:54 AM

I agree with Corina and Lex, that "the one" isn't pre-determined for you.
There could be multiple people who click with you.
And what if that one person who is your perfect fitting puzzle piece is all the way in, I don't know, India? It's highly unlikely you two will ever cross paths just because that person completes you.
And I think because of this, there are multitudes of people who can be your soul mate.

GhostDog · 18th Oct 2009, 12:08 PM

I think it's statistically unlikely that I'll never run into someone who's compatible. =P There are a lot of people in the world! There has to be a decent number of 'em somewhere who would stir up mutual feelings of Awesomeness!

AtomicCafe · 18th Oct 2009, 02:19 PM

Lex is made of utter win.

I used to think there was, in a way. Of course, I also believed that it would be statistically impossible to find this person in a world of 6 billion. Now, I just disagree with the entire idea. Yes, I believe most people can find love somewhere, but no, I don't think it's unconditional and perfect.

redsapphire · 18th Oct 2009, 02:23 PM

I believe that we will all find someone who makes us happy someday, some of us are lucky enough to have already found them, I don't know if there is only one person made for you, I just don't know about that.

Derek the Wolf · 18th Oct 2009, 07:02 PM

"True" love doesn't mean anything. You're either in love or you're not. Some people you feel stronger towards, some people you don't feel anything for. Once again Lex beat me to it: relationships aren't something that just start and it's happily ever after. Things take time to build and grow and become that level of what you're thinking of.

There's no 1 perfect person out there for you to find. There are potential people you could fall in love with everywhere.

18th Oct 2009, 07:12 PM

I believe that there is more than one person made for me, they just happned to be spread apart.

Greggers · 18th Oct 2009, 07:24 PM

My true love is Luke MacFarlane.

But seeing as i will never get my hands on the Canadian hottie, I guess i dont really believe in True Love.

Its all about two things that are kind of the same: Settling and Compromise. Everyone has many many many people they can live happily with, but none of these people are as perfect as Luke MacFarlane so you have to make do with what you have. Your perfect man is 6.4? Settle for 6.2 then. You find someone who is 6.4 but has a weird big toe? Look past the bad to see the good. No one other than Luke MacFarlane is perfect, including yourself, so you just have to cut people some slack. High expectations will kill more relationships than anything you could do while actually in a relationship. Its just cutting out people in your "dating pool" before you even start looking. When you are LGBT your dating pool is generally much smaller (i guess Bisexuality in theory makes it bigger though?) so you really need to keep doors open.

LeonaRose · 19th Oct 2009, 03:50 AM

Has to be said after being screwed around in the same way over and over again I'm a complete cynic and gonna go with no. Noooo and I hope I never find one.

**Maddy** · 19th Oct 2009, 03:55 AM

I want to believe it, because it would mean there's at least one person out there who I could have a relationship with, but I seriously doubt it.

18th Oct 2009, 10:11 AM	#1
Étoile He ate my heart Full Member Gender: Garçon Orientation: 95% Gay, 5% Cheesecake Out Status: Out to everyone Location: The Peach State Age: 20 Posts: 1,575 Join Date: Nov 2007	Do you believe in 'your true love'? Do you believe that there's someone in the world made for you, someone you'll spend the rest of your life with? That you'll eventually end up with your true love somehow, some way? I've always thought so. It seems a strange and almost supernatural idea. I am a hopeless romantic, so I like to daydream of the positive, whimsical parts of love. __________________ "I love that lavender blonde; the way she moves, the way she walks, I touch myself, can't get enough."

18th Oct 2009, 10:15 AM	#2
RaeofLite I've got the moves like Jagger Full Member Gender: ♀ Orientation: Sapphicly inclined Out Status: My closet is for clothes! Location: BC, Canada Age: 23 Posts: 3,111 Join Date: Apr 2009	Re: Do you believe in 'your true love'? I think it's possible that you have one to three people you can truely fall head over heels for. At least in my opinion. I think I've already met one of them, but who knows? shrug __________________ People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." -Bonnie Jean Wasmund (and the lesbians)

18th Oct 2009, 10:15 AM	#3
Katherine Professional Cuddler Full Member Gender: 75% female Orientation: 110% gay Out Status: 98% out Location: The land of rednecks and pine trees (Georgia) Age: 19 Posts: 1,745 Join Date: Mar 2009	Re: Do you believe in 'your true love'? I believe in it. I think I'd probably be miserably lonely if I didn't. __________________ Overly emotional five-foot-tall vegetarian gamer girl who procrastinates way too much. Loves food, art, cats, and making people smile.

18th Oct 2009, 10:17 AM	#4
x2x2x2x2y2 PARAWHORE!!!!!! Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: ~I like guys~ Out Status: Everyone, pretty much. Location: Wonderland (and California, USA) Age: 18 Posts: 3,971 Join Date: Oct 2009	Re: Do you believe in 'your true love'? I admit I'm a bit of a romantic too but I don't believe there's only one person out there for you. I don't think that fate chooses who you are going to be with. I just think it's simply us just living. We choose who to be with. __________________ "THINGS ARE LOOKING UP, OH FINALLY!!" "I believe that there's hope buried beneath it all and...Hiding beneath it all and... GROWING beneath it all!!" -Paramore ...and the lesbians

18th Oct 2009, 10:21 AM	#5
Black Cat As Seen On Hoarders... Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: This cat is out of the bag - I mean closet Location: Pennsylvania, with the cows Age: 21 Posts: 2,391 Join Date: Jun 2009	Re: Do you believe in 'your true love'? Absolutely! I'm a crazed hopeless romantic, so I believe there is someone out there to complete everyone. I don't necessarily believe that people always know right away who that someone is though, it may be someone you’ve known forever as a close friend, or someone who’s just met you yesterday. I love to think of the idea of soul mates meeting by complete chance, and love developing out of that. Maybe I watch too many romantic movies, but I deep down know that there is someone for everyone. Besides, there are much crazier theories out there than true love. __________________ "Your life is an occasion. Rise to it." - Mr. Magorium

18th Oct 2009, 10:24 AM	#6
Numfarh Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Do you believe in 'your true love'? You can have true love without having 'the one true love'. I mean, you can meet that perfect person who completes you without having it pre-assigned to you. So no, I don't believe in the true love that you're talking about, but I do believe in true love.

18th Oct 2009, 10:31 AM	#7
carrie90 The square root of 4 is rainbows Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Gay Out Status: everybody really Location: Originally Montana but currently San Fransisco Age: 21 Posts: 1,327 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: Do you believe in 'your true love'? Well I'm a hopeless romantic and I do believe that there is such a thing as "the one" __________________ I empower my Cheerios to live in fear by creating an enviorment of irrational, random terror -Sue Sylvester

18th Oct 2009, 10:36 AM	#8
Lexington The gay gargoyle EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Colorado Age: 42 Posts: 12,371 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Do you believe in 'your true love'? I think it's utter bullshit. There are two MAJOR problems (and more minor ones) in believing in having that one true love. First off, it means that absolutely everybody else is wrong for you. So you'll start discounting guys because they don't fit the ideal. "Well, he's nice and caring, but he's not as cute as he should be." "He really should be taller." Or if you DO give him a try, if ANY problem arises - which it will - you'll immediately start thinking "Gee, this isn't perfect sailing, so this guy must not be the right guy." It implies that people are like Superfection pieces. ...OK, just read that they don't make that game anymore. So quick explanation. There's a bunch of colored pieces. Each piece had exactly one partner that, when placed together, formed a cube. You had to make all the cubes, and then put them in the bin before time expired. And secondly, relationships are not easy. It's not just the matter of finding the right guy, eyes locking, music swelling, floating over to each other, kissing, happily ever after. Sorry to say, but it's the real world. There are problems and issues to be worked through at all given times. Yes, having someone really compatible makes it a lot easier, but it doesn't mean they all take care of themselves. Relationships aren't found. They're built. They're built by two people who love and care enough to put in the effort to make the relationship strong, and make the relationship work. And that's why people in stable LTRs often feel so proud of them. Because they didn't just get lucky, although you might say they were lucky to find the right person to build with. They're proud because they've actually accomplished something worth being proud of. I don't want people to think that "any old guy will do". You need someone who is compatible with you, who you click with, and who clicks with you. And someone who is willing to put in the effort with you. And that's perhaps where the luck and magic comes in. But there's not just ONE person out there who fits this description. There are actually many. Your job is to find one. And then start building. Lex

18th Oct 2009, 10:53 AM	#10
haelmarie it's ok to be afraid Full Member Gender: No. Orientation: No. Age: 18 Posts: 767 Join Date: Oct 2009	Re: Do you believe in 'your true love'? People change. I mean, if my true love was assigned to me a year ago, I probably wouldn't even like him now. So no, no "one and only" for me.

18th Oct 2009, 10:54 AM	#11
SilhouetteDream OHAI! :D Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Happy homo :D Out Status: Family only Location: Long Island, NY Age: 19 Posts: 630 Join Date: Aug 2009	Re: Do you believe in 'your true love'? I agree with Corina and Lex, that "the one" isn't pre-determined for you. There could be multiple people who click with you. And what if that one person who is your perfect fitting puzzle piece is all the way in, I don't know, India? It's highly unlikely you two will ever cross paths just because that person completes you. And I think because of this, there are multitudes of people who can be your soul mate. __________________ I can sit here waiting for hours on your arrival I could sit here for days waiting for you to come out and play Because I live to breathe the sky that hangs high above you.

18th Oct 2009, 12:08 PM	#12
GhostDog is Spartacus. Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: MAGICAL. Out Status: The hiiills are aliiive with the sound of muuusic! Location: DFW area, Texas Age: 24 Posts: 2,503 Join Date: Apr 2009	Re: Do you believe in 'your true love'? I think it's statistically unlikely that I'll never run into someone who's compatible. =P There are a lot of people in the world! There has to be a decent number of 'em somewhere who would stir up mutual feelings of Awesomeness! __________________ <3 Kirah, who may or may not be made of delicious candy (and the lesbians)

18th Oct 2009, 02:19 PM	#13
AtomicCafe Gay by Day, Dyke by Night Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Asexual Lesbian Out Status: Out, Loud, and Proud Location: Tucson, AZ Age: 19 Posts: 208 Join Date: Oct 2009	Re: Do you believe in 'your true love'? Lex is made of utter win. I used to think there was, in a way. Of course, I also believed that it would be statistically impossible to find this person in a world of 6 billion. Now, I just disagree with the entire idea. Yes, I believe most people can find love somewhere, but no, I don't think it's unconditional and perfect. __________________ That child has several options: staying in the closet, suicide. And then one day, that child might open up the paper and it says, "Homosexual Elected in San Francisco." - Harvey Milk

18th Oct 2009, 02:23 PM	#14
redsapphire EC's resident witch Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Wow Mama Out Status: most except family Location: Bonny Lingland Age: 20 Posts: 877 Join Date: Jul 2008	Re: Do you believe in 'your true love'? I believe that we will all find someone who makes us happy someday, some of us are lucky enough to have already found them, I don't know if there is only one person made for you, I just don't know about that. __________________ *Don't Bend, Don't Break, Baby Don't Back Down...*

18th Oct 2009, 07:02 PM	#15
Derek the Wolf Furry Overlord Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Pansexual Out Status: Majority Location: Illinois Age: 20 Posts: 1,325 Join Date: Jul 2008	Re: Do you believe in 'your true love'? "True" love doesn't mean anything. You're either in love or you're not. Some people you feel stronger towards, some people you don't feel anything for. Once again Lex beat me to it: relationships aren't something that just start and it's happily ever after. Things take time to build and grow and become that level of what you're thinking of. There's no 1 perfect person out there for you to find. There are potential people you could fall in love with everywhere. __________________

18th Oct 2009, 07:12 PM	#16
Legnaj Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Do you believe in 'your true love'? I believe that there is more than one person made for me, they just happned to be spread apart.

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18th Oct 2009, 07:24 PM	#17
Greggers Sunshine & Optimism ...also Angels. Full Member Gender: Theatre Queen Orientation: Disco Sticks Out Status: Everyone and a few more Location: BC, Canada Age: 21 Posts: 3,528 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: Do you believe in 'your true love'? My true love is Luke MacFarlane. But seeing as i will never get my hands on the Canadian hottie, I guess i dont really believe in True Love. Its all about two things that are kind of the same: Settling and Compromise. Everyone has many many many people they can live happily with, but none of these people are as perfect as Luke MacFarlane so you have to make do with what you have. Your perfect man is 6.4? Settle for 6.2 then. You find someone who is 6.4 but has a weird big toe? Look past the bad to see the good. No one other than Luke MacFarlane is perfect, including yourself, so you just have to cut people some slack. High expectations will kill more relationships than anything you could do while actually in a relationship. Its just cutting out people in your "dating pool" before you even start looking. When you are LGBT your dating pool is generally much smaller (i guess Bisexuality in theory makes it bigger though?) so you really need to keep doors open. __________________ "It's a male duck."

19th Oct 2009, 03:50 AM	#18
LeonaRose Well Known Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Leeds, UK Posts: 226 Join Date: Jul 2009	Re: Do you believe in 'your true love'? Has to be said after being screwed around in the same way over and over again I'm a complete cynic and gonna go with no. Noooo and I hope I never find one. __________________ "It's the same stuff they used in that fourth "Lord of the Rings" movie. Or was it the 19th "Lord of the Rings" movie? You know, the one where Boldo and Jingy travel across the bridge? I don't know, I don't know their names" - Tom Hanks on Lord of the Rings. LOL!!!!

19th Oct 2009, 03:55 AM	#19
Maddy Free Hugs EC Admin Gender: - Orientation: Into girls Location: Melbourne, Australia Age: 21 Posts: 7,704 Join Date: Mar 2008	Re: Do you believe in 'your true love'? I want to believe it, because it would mean there's at least one person out there who I could have a relationship with, but I seriously doubt it. __________________ how strange it is to be anything at all [Victor] 2:09 pm: and then halloween happened and I was outside in a skirt.