Texting... am I missing something. - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

SolitaryKnight · 2nd Nov 2009, 07:57 AM

I already know that I'm not a normal person, but I find this is something that really separates me. I don't get text messaging, I don't even own a cell phone... but everyone I know has a cell phone and text friends on a daily basis.

Now, I'm not that hard to contact. I do have a phone, and people can always send me a email. But somehow I feel disconnected from everyone I know.

What happened to social grace... has it boiled down to minimal texts, facebook status and tweets...
Even e-mail seems to have dwindled. When was the last time you wrote a hand written letter just for the hell of it and sent it to a friend?

So whats the big deal about texts? I don't get it...
perhaps I'm too introverted to get it. Who knows.

Inane ramble ends here.

Black Cat · 2nd Nov 2009, 08:02 AM

I don't have a phone either. I hate texting, tweets, myface or whatever the hell it is, and all that other stuff. I'm super old fashioned; I like face to face conversations, nice letters, or a telephone call. I just don't get the fascination with instant reach ability and being constantly accessible to people.

Gaetan · 2nd Nov 2009, 08:08 AM

Texting is what will be wrong with society in a few decades! Mark my words!

I rarely text--and even when I do, it's with perfect spelling and punctuation. Takes me forever to type anything out on my 0-9 keypad of my cellphone. Don't send me a text, just call me! Half the time, if someone texts me I simply call them back.

My Facebook is for keeping in contact with friends who aren't living near me anymore. We could send e-mail, but that's a little more than many would do. FB updates are far simply, and reach a wider audience. Still, meeting face to face is better.

shorty · 2nd Nov 2009, 08:44 AM

Lol! you prudes! *sticks hand up* Heh, I dont even like phones. Hate not being able to read someones body language, but at the same time, I am a nerd and use irc but thats for technical kind of stuff. FB is good though as Gaetan said for letting a large number of people know whats up, and then that can hopefully spawn some conversation. (admits to not even having a FB account though

) I think i'm just too much of a private person to do it. (hehe, though i share my darkest secret on an internet forum!)

Cynic · 2nd Nov 2009, 08:56 AM

It's cheaper than calls.

shorty · 2nd Nov 2009, 09:04 AM

Hmm, i meant luddites, not prudes!

(brain doesnt appear to be working lately!) Why can't i edit that post?

Greggers · 2nd Nov 2009, 09:08 AM

Hey, im just keeping up with society here

Texting, Facebooking, Tweeting, these are all how the majority of people communicate now. If i e-mail someone, i may not get a reply for days. If i phone someone, its going to cost me $$$. If i send someone a letter, who the #$%@ is going to write me back? O_O

It may be "sad" that our forms of communication are getting shorter, but they are also getting faster. I can have a text-ver-sation with someone and its almost like they are in the room because there is little downtime. I can skype someone on the computer and have a phone like conversation without the $$$. I can send out a tweet and its more likely to reach its target before said target goes to there e-mail account.

I say embrace it, because all the bitching in the world will not make things devolve back to before, and as long as you have a healthy amount of actually seeing people face to face things should be ok. No amount of social networking can beat being in the same room with someone.

**Owen** · 2nd Nov 2009, 09:11 AM

I use texting for one purpose and one purpose only: sending people texts asking them to call me when it is convenient for them, so I don't call them out of the blue at a bad time. I basically use texting as high-tech paging. That's all I really see is as useful for.

I think the allure of texting as a main way of communication is that it is subtle. You can text in class or even when at the dinner table without disrupting other people's conversation. Though I understand it, I still don't condone it. Texting while doing other things is rude, since it implies that your time is too valuable to focus on the person you are with.

As for hand written letters, I don't miss them. E-mail is free and more convenient, and there is very little that written letters have the e-mail cannot replicate. To be honest, I feel more personally connected to an e-mail I receive than a letter, but that may just be me.

Twitter? I don't understand it either. My facebook status box is enough for me when I feel I have come up with something profound enough to be worth posting (you'll never see me put up inane retellings of my day in my status box).

Quote:

Originally Posted by SolitaryKnight

But somehow I feel disconnected from everyone I know.

Think about it this way; facebook, texting, and all of these other mainstays of the 21st century make people feel more connected to more people, but they are simply maintaining superficial friendships with a larger group of acquaintances. The more people you try to stay in touch with, the less you will really know them. Likewise, the fewer people you know, the better you can get to know them, and if you are an introvert, then that is just your nature (take it from someone who knows personally); don't fret about it.

----------

Quote:

Originally Posted by Greggers

I can have a text-ver-sation with someone and its almost like they are in the room because there is little downtime.

And if you call them personally, there is no downtime what so ever. Where is the allure? I know you mentioned money, but texts cost me more than calling people does.

Greggers · 2nd Nov 2009, 09:27 AM

[/COLOR]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Greggers

I can have a text-ver-sation with someone and its almost like they are in the room because there is little downtime.

And if you call them personally, there is no downtime what so ever. Where is the allure? I know you mentioned money, but texts cost me more than calling people does.[/QUOTE]

Im on a really cheep plan that lets me send and recieve texts for free as well as call my mother for free. The only person i ever call is my mother now

everyone else gets texts. I find 90% of my friends have a texting plan as well, so it just....works.

BasketCase · 2nd Nov 2009, 09:53 AM

I don't like or feel comfortable with talking to people on the phone so I tend to send texts if I can possibly get away with it.

That said, I don't have any accounts on social networking sites, and I rarely email people.

RaRa · 2nd Nov 2009, 10:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SolitaryKnight

When was the last time you wrote a hand written letter just for the hell of it and sent it to a friend?

In math class, while we were taking a test. I wrote "give me answers."

I love love love texting. <3
I hate talking on the phone. It's so annoying having that thing near your ear, and with speaker phone everyone can hear your convo. Usually if people call i'll just be like "text me instead."

**Lexington** · 2nd Nov 2009, 10:36 AM

I text a fair amount. Generally when I need to express one thought, and either assume a conversation won't develop, or I want to be sure a conversation doesn't develop. Here are the last few texts I sent:

"How do you get the computer to do such-n-such?" (to my boss who was away, and yes, the answer was easily typed)
"I'm here." (I was picking my partner up at work.)
"Any chance you can get us on the list for your show tonight?" (to a band member)
"Could you put us down for two tickets for tomorrow's show?" (to a friend who works box office somewhere else)

And yes. I'm very anal about using proper spelling, capitalization and punctuation in my texts.

Lex

Adam · 2nd Nov 2009, 10:41 AM

I prefer to text then call, I don't like talking on the phone much and my conversations only last like a minute anyways. Its so much easier to just text a question and get the answer whenever they can reply.

MusicIsLife · 2nd Nov 2009, 10:46 AM

I text upward 1000 texts per month. I don't like calling people, I find it annoying. Plus, it's a lot cheaper in my plan to text as opposed to calling someone.

carrie90 · 2nd Nov 2009, 11:47 AM

We are so different I'm never off my phone and can't go a day without texting at least 100 messages (yes I realise I have an addiction)

kettleoffish · 2nd Nov 2009, 11:53 AM

I use it to arrange things mostly, I'm not a big fan of SMS conversation.

littledinosaurs · 2nd Nov 2009, 12:04 PM

Texting is just more comfortable and convenient. It can get quick messages to people and allows you to contact someone more privately if they are in public. Also allows you to do something else at the same time, especially if you are in public places. Also it eliminates awkward silences, and it's less irritating to text with someone i don't like than to have to constantly avoid their calls. I usually use texting for quick check ups and to make plans to actually see someone. I also try to use correct grammar in them because the abbreviations aren't faster in my mind. (minus lol)

kramer362 · 2nd Nov 2009, 12:52 PM

At work I'd get caught with my phone if I held it to my ear, so I text. There's no commitment to a conversation if you just type a sentence and hit send. If the person responds you can read it later. These are the advantages.

For me it's just another option instead of calling, but in most cases calling is a lot easier and quicker...

As for the twitter and facebook status updates, I don't fucking get it, haha. Seems like people are just out to impress with their insight and wit about current events, or grab attention. Well some people are anyway, and they make no effort to hide it. This couple I used to work with would keep the entire world updated on their constant breaking up and getting back together via facebook updates... seems really fucking stupid to me personally lol.

xequar · 2nd Nov 2009, 01:12 PM

Oh god, the "texing is evil because I don't get it" meme again.

I send roughly 3,000 texts per month, whereas I only use roughly 50-100 minutes of my cell plan per month. Texting is convenient and faster than a phone call. I can shoot off a text on my iPhone in a matter of seconds, whereas a phone call is in real time and takes minutes. I can send a text during a meeting or another conversation and let the person reply to me at their leisure, as opposed to a phone call that's dependent upon someone being available to answer and having the time to talk. And, if someone sends me a text about an event or with a phone number or some other relevant information, I have a record of it, instead of having to hunt down a pen and paper to write it down and hope I hear the person correctly.

And to be blunt, I HATE talking on the phone. It's time consuming. It's disjointed because you hear voice, but you don't get the visual to accompany it. Unless I'm taking notes, there's no record of the conversation.

As for Facebook, love it. I have a lot of friends scattered literally all over the globe, and being able to see status updates is a quick way to see who's up to what and keep an idea of what's going on in the lives of friends and family that I, unfortunately, don't get to see all that often.

I'm sure there's some charm to writing a letter or sending a telegram via the Pony Express or some such crap. I just don't get it. But, I don't sit and bash it, whereas every single time I hear someone going on about how they "don't get" texting it seems like they have to take time to also bash it.

2nd Nov 2009, 01:53 PM

I love texting. Freaking changed my life when I got it. I'm somewhat hard-of-hearing (as in, I'm constantly asking people to repeat themselves) so texting is an amazing way to communicate quickly AND without the pain of trying to hear and understand other people. I hate talking on the phone. If you want to talk to me, either track me down or text me. And I do use proper spelling and grammar when texting, minus apostrophes.

I also love Facebook. It lets me see what my friends are doing and talk to them when I don't get to see them very often. I am definitely not one of those people with 700 friends that they don't even know; my Facebook interactions are limited to basically ten or fifteen people. I'm not a huge fan of Twitter, though.

As for letters, I write one every day or every other day. I love it for the same reason as texting- it's nonverbal. I kind of fail at speaking anyways, so being able to write what I want to say down is amazing. So letters are really just extended text messages for me.

Also, maybe you shouldn't be criticizing texting if you don't own a cell phone and don't have the opportunity of at least trying it. Of course you don't get it if you've never done it. That's just my opinion, though.

2nd Nov 2009, 07:57 AM	#1
SolitaryKnight EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: the family knows and some other people Location: Atlantic Canada Age: 27 Posts: 360 Join Date: Oct 2009	Texting... am I missing something. I already know that I'm not a normal person, but I find this is something that really separates me. I don't get text messaging, I don't even own a cell phone... but everyone I know has a cell phone and text friends on a daily basis. Now, I'm not that hard to contact. I do have a phone, and people can always send me a email. But somehow I feel disconnected from everyone I know. What happened to social grace... has it boiled down to minimal texts, facebook status and tweets... Even e-mail seems to have dwindled. When was the last time you wrote a hand written letter just for the hell of it and sent it to a friend? So whats the big deal about texts? I don't get it... perhaps I'm too introverted to get it. Who knows. Inane ramble ends here. __________________ To conquer oneself is the best and noblest victory; to be vanquished by one's own nature is the worst and most ignoble defeat. ~ Plato

2nd Nov 2009, 08:02 AM	#2
Black Cat As Seen On Hoarders... Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: This cat is out of the bag - I mean closet Location: Pennsylvania, with the cows Age: 21 Posts: 2,391 Join Date: Jun 2009	Re: Texting... am I missing something. I don't have a phone either. I hate texting, tweets, myface or whatever the hell it is, and all that other stuff. I'm super old fashioned; I like face to face conversations, nice letters, or a telephone call. I just don't get the fascination with instant reach ability and being constantly accessible to people. __________________ "Your life is an occasion. Rise to it." - Mr. Magorium

2nd Nov 2009, 08:08 AM	#3
Gaetan DON'T TOUCH THE HAT! Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Immediate Family and Friends Location: Idaho, USA Age: 25 Posts: 1,098 Join Date: Sep 2009	Re: Texting... am I missing something. Texting is what will be wrong with society in a few decades! Mark my words! I rarely text--and even when I do, it's with perfect spelling and punctuation. Takes me forever to type anything out on my 0-9 keypad of my cellphone. Don't send me a text, just call me! Half the time, if someone texts me I simply call them back. My Facebook is for keeping in contact with friends who aren't living near me anymore. We could send e-mail, but that's a little more than many would do. FB updates are far simply, and reach a wider audience. Still, meeting face to face is better. __________________ Those who say it cannot be done, shouldn't interrupt the people doing it.

2nd Nov 2009, 08:44 AM	#4
shorty vertically challenged Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Sister and a couple of friends. Location: Land of Oz Posts: 320 Join Date: Jul 2009	Re: Texting... am I missing something. Lol! you prudes! sticks hand up Heh, I dont even like phones. Hate not being able to read someones body language, but at the same time, I am a nerd and use irc but thats for technical kind of stuff. FB is good though as Gaetan said for letting a large number of people know whats up, and then that can hopefully spawn some conversation. (admits to not even having a FB account though ) I think i'm just too much of a private person to do it. (hehe, though i share my darkest secret on an internet forum!)

2nd Nov 2009, 08:56 AM	#5
Cynic Still Grey Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Some people Location: UK Posts: 241 Join Date: Oct 2009	Re: Texting... am I missing something. It's cheaper than calls. __________________ Would buy you roses if you asked.

2nd Nov 2009, 09:04 AM	#6
shorty vertically challenged Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Sister and a couple of friends. Location: Land of Oz Posts: 320 Join Date: Jul 2009	Re: Texting... am I missing something. Hmm, i meant luddites, not prudes! (brain doesnt appear to be working lately!) Why can't i edit that post?

2nd Nov 2009, 09:08 AM	#7
Greggers Sunshine & Optimism ...also Angels. Full Member Gender: Theatre Queen Orientation: Disco Sticks Out Status: Everyone and a few more Location: BC, Canada Age: 21 Posts: 3,528 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: Texting... am I missing something. Hey, im just keeping up with society here Texting, Facebooking, Tweeting, these are all how the majority of people communicate now. If i e-mail someone, i may not get a reply for days. If i phone someone, its going to cost me $$$. If i send someone a letter, who the #$%@ is going to write me back? O_O It may be "sad" that our forms of communication are getting shorter, but they are also getting faster. I can have a text-ver-sation with someone and its almost like they are in the room because there is little downtime. I can skype someone on the computer and have a phone like conversation without the $$$. I can send out a tweet and its more likely to reach its target before said target goes to there e-mail account. I say embrace it, because all the bitching in the world will not make things devolve back to before, and as long as you have a healthy amount of actually seeing people face to face things should be ok. No amount of social networking can beat being in the same room with someone. __________________ "It's a male duck."

2nd Nov 2009, 09:53 AM	#10
BasketCase EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Two Brothers, HCP and now a work colleague/friend. Location: Northern Ireland Age: 30 Posts: 323 Join Date: Mar 2009	Re: Texting... am I missing something. I don't like or feel comfortable with talking to people on the phone so I tend to send texts if I can possibly get away with it. That said, I don't have any accounts on social networking sites, and I rarely email people.

2nd Nov 2009, 10:36 AM	#12
Lexington The gay gargoyle EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Colorado Age: 42 Posts: 12,371 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Texting... am I missing something. I text a fair amount. Generally when I need to express one thought, and either assume a conversation won't develop, or I want to be sure a conversation doesn't develop. Here are the last few texts I sent: "How do you get the computer to do such-n-such?" (to my boss who was away, and yes, the answer was easily typed) "I'm here." (I was picking my partner up at work.) "Any chance you can get us on the list for your show tonight?" (to a band member) "Could you put us down for two tickets for tomorrow's show?" (to a friend who works box office somewhere else) And yes. I'm very anal about using proper spelling, capitalization and punctuation in my texts. Lex Last edited by Lexington; 2nd Nov 2009 at 10:41 AM..

2nd Nov 2009, 10:41 AM	#13
Adam EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Posts: 539 Join Date: Oct 2008	Re: Texting... am I missing something. I prefer to text then call, I don't like talking on the phone much and my conversations only last like a minute anyways. Its so much easier to just text a question and get the answer whenever they can reply.

2nd Nov 2009, 10:46 AM	#14
MusicIsLife EC Addict Full Member Gender: Not even sure anymore. Something in between. Orientation: I like girls :) Out Status: Everyone on orientation 7 people on trans issue. Location: Montréal, QC Age: 23 Posts: 1,595 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Texting... am I missing something. I text upward 1000 texts per month. I don't like calling people, I find it annoying. Plus, it's a lot cheaper in my plan to text as opposed to calling someone.

2nd Nov 2009, 11:47 AM	#15
carrie90 The square root of 4 is rainbows Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Gay Out Status: everybody really Location: Originally Montana but currently San Fransisco Age: 21 Posts: 1,327 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: Texting... am I missing something. We are so different I'm never off my phone and can't go a day without texting at least 100 messages (yes I realise I have an addiction) __________________ I empower my Cheerios to live in fear by creating an enviorment of irrational, random terror -Sue Sylvester

2nd Nov 2009, 11:53 AM	#16
kettleoffish new avatar time! Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: all but parents.. for now. Location: Scotland Age: 18 Posts: 1,045 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: Texting... am I missing something. I use it to arrange things mostly, I'm not a big fan of SMS conversation. __________________ ~~There is no way to peace; peace is the way.~~ --A. J. Muste

2nd Nov 2009, 12:04 PM	#17
littledinosaurs J'essaie de Parler Français! :] Full Member Gender: Garçon Orientation: Bisexuel Location: Nouvelle-Angleterre. Age: 21 Posts: 2,351 Join Date: Sep 2008	Re: Texting... am I missing something. Texting is just more comfortable and convenient. It can get quick messages to people and allows you to contact someone more privately if they are in public. Also allows you to do something else at the same time, especially if you are in public places. Also it eliminates awkward silences, and it's less irritating to text with someone i don't like than to have to constantly avoid their calls. I usually use texting for quick check ups and to make plans to actually see someone. I also try to use correct grammar in them because the abbreviations aren't faster in my mind. (minus lol) __________________ Âllo Là

2nd Nov 2009, 12:52 PM	#18
kramer362 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: A few people Location: western new york Age: 26 Posts: 400 Join Date: Nov 2007	Re: Texting... am I missing something. At work I'd get caught with my phone if I held it to my ear, so I text. There's no commitment to a conversation if you just type a sentence and hit send. If the person responds you can read it later. These are the advantages. For me it's just another option instead of calling, but in most cases calling is a lot easier and quicker... As for the twitter and facebook status updates, I don't fucking get it, haha. Seems like people are just out to impress with their insight and wit about current events, or grab attention. Well some people are anyway, and they make no effort to hide it. This couple I used to work with would keep the entire world updated on their constant breaking up and getting back together via facebook updates... seems really fucking stupid to me personally lol.

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2nd Nov 2009, 01:12 PM	#19
xequar Diapered and collared! Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: I have "The Gay." :) Out Status: Loud and proud! Location: Detroit area, Michigan Age: 30 Posts: 1,746 Join Date: Mar 2007	Re: Texting... am I missing something. Oh god, the "texing is evil because I don't get it" meme again. I send roughly 3,000 texts per month, whereas I only use roughly 50-100 minutes of my cell plan per month. Texting is convenient and faster than a phone call. I can shoot off a text on my iPhone in a matter of seconds, whereas a phone call is in real time and takes minutes. I can send a text during a meeting or another conversation and let the person reply to me at their leisure, as opposed to a phone call that's dependent upon someone being available to answer and having the time to talk. And, if someone sends me a text about an event or with a phone number or some other relevant information, I have a record of it, instead of having to hunt down a pen and paper to write it down and hope I hear the person correctly. And to be blunt, I HATE talking on the phone. It's time consuming. It's disjointed because you hear voice, but you don't get the visual to accompany it. Unless I'm taking notes, there's no record of the conversation. As for Facebook, love it. I have a lot of friends scattered literally all over the globe, and being able to see status updates is a quick way to see who's up to what and keep an idea of what's going on in the lives of friends and family that I, unfortunately, don't get to see all that often. I'm sure there's some charm to writing a letter or sending a telegram via the Pony Express or some such crap. I just don't get it. But, I don't sit and bash it, whereas every single time I hear someone going on about how they "don't get" texting it seems like they have to take time to also bash it. __________________

2nd Nov 2009, 01:53 PM	#20
Drizzt DoUrden Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Texting... am I missing something. I love texting. Freaking changed my life when I got it. I'm somewhat hard-of-hearing (as in, I'm constantly asking people to repeat themselves) so texting is an amazing way to communicate quickly AND without the pain of trying to hear and understand other people. I hate talking on the phone. If you want to talk to me, either track me down or text me. And I do use proper spelling and grammar when texting, minus apostrophes. I also love Facebook. It lets me see what my friends are doing and talk to them when I don't get to see them very often. I am definitely not one of those people with 700 friends that they don't even know; my Facebook interactions are limited to basically ten or fifteen people. I'm not a huge fan of Twitter, though. As for letters, I write one every day or every other day. I love it for the same reason as texting- it's nonverbal. I kind of fail at speaking anyways, so being able to write what I want to say down is amazing. So letters are really just extended text messages for me. Also, maybe you shouldn't be criticizing texting if you don't own a cell phone and don't have the opportunity of at least trying it. Of course you don't get it if you've never done it. That's just my opinion, though.