I was just wondering how long you guys think someone needs after you come out to them before you can start making off colored comments. I've told you guys before, that all of my friends are straight (though, since this semester has started, I found 3 gay friends at college), and I'm not really a dirty humor kind of guy, but when we're sitting around the frat house, and they're like "Man, I'd let her sit on my face," sometimes I just want to say something like, "I wish he was fucking my face right now". Of course... I don't know how much they can handle just yet, so what do you guys think. When can straight guys handle a bit more of the sexual side of homosexuality?
My hunch is that they probably won't get any more comfortable about such comments until you make them. It's one thing to accept another friend as gay, quite another to not feel uncomfortable when somebody makes a same-sex lewd comment. More time knowing that you're gay doesn't necessarily translate into comfort with discussing gay sex. The question is not so much about them being straight as them not acting all grossed out or insecure from such comments. Personally, I don't see why you need to sink to their level by saying such objectifying comments, but to each his own--you are frat boys after all and gay or straight, I imagine you all want to live up to your stereotypes. You may want to consider just letting a comment like the above slip sometime and see what happens. Maybe start with something tame like "wow, that guy's pretty hot" and work your way up. If they react badly, you'll at least know where they stand, but I think you really need to push their comfort boundaries to get them used to it.
Ok... I actually told a straight friend that I wanted to find him naked in my bed today. So I don't know how much more sexual, and personal, you can get. Anyway... there are friends that are more comfortable than others, and that are more secure than others. All I can say is that you should take it slow, and start making comments just to see how they react. For instance, we went to the movies to watch Fantastic Four (don't judge me!) and when we were going back home a friend made a comment on how hot Jessica Alba was, and that he remembered her from Dark Angel, and so on... and I, just to tick him off, made the same kind of comments about Chris Evans. Anyway, I've been working on getting him to be comfortable with me making these comments for the past four months... so don't expect a good reaction/comeback just yet. also, if the have a good comeback at what you say, not agressive but that throws you off, then let them enjoy it... they've earned it... XD I'd suggest also that you don't act offended (if you really are not) when they make comments like 'that's so gay' meaning something is not good, or comments such as that one... it's worthless and it gives the message that you are not comfortable being gay, and thus they won't be comfortable with you being gay. I don't know how much sense this makes to you... but I hope I helped...
my friends opened up to the idea of gay stuff (as in me talking about who's hot and "what I'd like to do with someone") almost immediately. I think it helped quite a bit that they joked about gay stuff before. I do make it known that I dont like them using gay as a synonym for bad or stupid. Its not that I'm not comfortable with being gay, its that I find it rather offensive that they are using me (or what i am) to offend other things. Its not like i state that something is so black. It is completely wrong, and i am offended by it (like all black people would be offended to the previous statement). I have a group of friends that i hang around with, half of them know that i'm gay. Every once and a while, someone will tell a joke degrading gay people, and the reaction is kinda funny, my friends that know kinda shuffle their feet while the others laugh, but then stop quickly because nobody else laughed.
Okay, I forgot about this thread, but since I started it, I figure I'd update everyone. First of all, my roomates the other day asked whether I was a "pitcher" or "catcher." Either way, that sort of openned the doors for a bit more communication. So yesterday I met the hottest guy on earth... I'm not joking at all... and I started just going on and on about what I would do to him, and they just kept on laughing, so I guess it really is okay. If they accepted me for being gay, they accepted me for what comes along with it! Now I just can't wait to bring home guys!
The funny thing about that is that Chris Evans was much more a piece of meat in FF than Jessica Alba was. I mean he spent a quarter of the movie naked. She was just invisible. And anyway, it was a fun movie. I don't know why you'd worry people would judge you for seeing it; it did well enough at the box office that a relativley large chunk of people must have. Uh... disagree. Strongly. Just because someone doesn't want a word that describes them to be used as a word that describes "lame" or "stupid" doesn't mean they're not comfortable being gay. Imagine if someone decided to start using your name as a synonym for "fucked up." I think you'd get pretty tired of hearing people saying "Oh that's so Goratrix."
I have to say that overall I tend to be pretty tired of the whole "top/bottom" dichotomy but I find the whole "pitcher/catcher" labels pretty cute. That's cool that you've figured out what flies and what doesn't with your friends. I think basically it's just a judgment call that's very specific to the group of people you're with. But if you hang around guys who talk about women they want sitting on their face, I don't think it's out of line to tell them how much you want some guy's dick up your ass. Turnabout is fair play, after all.
LOL, I think that's the worst question someone could (and of course, someone did) ask me. I answered honestly that I don't really know...
