A Year of Firsts - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

SailingKoala · 15th Dec 2009, 03:24 PM

I have been thinking about this past year and all the things that have happened in my Life and the New things I have experienced/ done/ gonna happen. And I thought it might be a nice thread for everyone to look back at some of the better parts of the year for them.

so here goes

1# I worked out who I was, and Started coming outta the Closet
2# I ended up finding a great guy I can call my own. (1st ever Relationship)
3# First ever Pride Event

unless anything bad happens

4# First Christmas spent away from Family with significant other
5# First ever New Years Kiss with someone

I think they are the things I am gonna take into the New Year..... things like still trying to work out what I wanna do with myself - still feel my old career doesn't work with me being Gay and finding long term happiness - but being gay shouldn't get in the way of my previous work.... I am going to try to put behind me (solve)

Anyway what is everybody's favorite Life moments from this year....

AtomicCafe · 15th Dec 2009, 06:05 PM

1. Also went to my first Pride!
2. Went to my first LGBT meeting.
3. Won my first award ever! (And won a ton of them in one go, at that!!)
4. Graduated for the first time.

5. Got my first round of grades for college!
6. Got closer to one amazing friend of mine who I'll love and cherish forever.

Lots of firsts for me. Probably the best year of my life. I can even glance over the negatives just thinking back on those.

RaeofLite · 15th Dec 2009, 09:17 PM

1. I came out to myself (fully) and Came out to everyone in April (and couldn't have done it without EC and the Beaverbunch on yt)
2. I cut my hair pretty short (not super spiky but still short enough) and hadn't had it that short since... maybe age 3?
3. Had my first girlfriend, and a few after that. Ugh, long distance ones suck. I don't want to ever do them again.
4. I went to my first Pride too!

And it was also the longest parade I've ever been to.. (3 hours)

Oh and the my first Gay Bar (in Vancouver.)
5. Started dressing how I want to dress rather than what family or "society" deems appropriate. I like to mix things up.
6. I decided that I'm going to be an author, not just a writer in life. First I need a career to save up money though.

tylerzane69 · 16th Dec 2009, 12:26 AM

to be honest i dont have alot to mention that is great but the things i can mention mean the world to me:
1.) Felt closer to a special someone than i have ever felt (i wanna cry now)
2.) I stood up to people who thought that i was a disappointment and im proving them wrong.
3.) Im learning ways to keep my anxiety under control

I am very proud of myself for some of my accomplishments even though some people may think they are minor!

Adam · 16th Dec 2009, 12:40 AM

This year I came out, Had my first relationship (did some things for the first time), went to my first gay club, partied with gay people for the first time really, and started acting more like myself and started not caring what others think of me.

**Owen** · 16th Dec 2009, 08:05 AM

1. My first relationship. It was nice while it lasted.
2. My first time participating in NaNoWriMo, and I won!
3. My first time finishing a novel. I had tried to write other novels before, but they never go farther than 20-something pages. When I wrote for NaNoWriMo, I actually finished what I started!
4. My first time I read and finished a piece of classic literature in my spare time (it was Dante Aligheri's Inferno, and it was much easier to read than I expected it to be.)
5. My first year of college. It wasn't nearly as difficult or different as I thought it would be; I'm glad I was able to easily transition in to it.
6. I finally got my depression under control, and without meds!
7. I finally started to accept and embrace my fetish and realize its place/roll in my sexuality.

kettleoffish · 16th Dec 2009, 10:13 AM

1st ever boyfriend(s)
lost my virginity to a really special guy
1st time in love <3
1st time going to a music festival

It's been a good year

Black Cat · 16th Dec 2009, 12:29 PM

Well ’09 has been an alright year. Most of it wasn’t too good, but at least I can use it to learn about myself. Here are some of the better highlights:

I joined EC, and met lots of wonderful people here.
I learned that I am fully capable of standing on my own two feet emotionally.
I found courage I always wondered if I really possessed.
I learned how to make perfect hot fudge.
I started taking steps towards making my future better.
I started writing down all my thoughts and ideas, I doubt it will get me anywhere but at least I can look back at it all now.
I changed career goals several times. I still haven’t found one that will stick but that’s alright.
And I think I am far more in tune with myself than ever before. For once I am happy being myself.

Oh, and I lost some weight!

I’m eager to start next year and see what’s ahead.

JB1986 · 16th Dec 2009, 10:28 PM

2009 has been a rather interesting year, I have to say. It started out pretty good, got really bad in February when my grandmother died, then I just made tons of effort to make the year as good as it could be. 2009 has also been a year of some firsts for me:

1. Came out to my parents in January. They are still in denial as far as I know, but at least I made the leap.

2. I got over my minor depression form last year. I think coming out more and more, and being even more myself helped.

3. Had my first boyfriend (shortlived, but hey he was my first.)

4. I went to my first Pride celebration and had a freakin' BLAST!

x2x2x2x2y2 · 17th Dec 2009, 01:06 AM

Pretty good year in my books!!

1. Came out to mom on October 19th and best friend on November 2nd!!(yes i remember the dates!! lol)

2. Started seeing who i really am and what i gotta do to make that better. It will be hard but worth it!!

3. Im more accepting to the fact im gay and im ok with it!!

4. Joined EC on October 15th(though i might be a few days off. lol) Love it here!!

5. Im learning to stand on my two feet and not depend on people so much. Its scary and hard but i gotta do it!!

6. I think overall im growing up and maturing. I may not show it, but I am.

7. I am so much closer to my friend, now that he knows.

8. Oh yeah and im starting to dress more the way i like and not the way i think people will like. I had a faux hawk for awhile!! lol

Overall good year. Very nervous for next year but i look forward to it.

**Filip** · 17th Dec 2009, 03:00 AM

It didn't really strike me as such, but this year was pretty amazing in hindsight!

1. I joined EC. Which was a major drive in improving myself
2. I came out to my mom and my brother
3. I came out to all of my friends
4. I moved out to live on my own, and learned how to survive by myself
5. I went to a gay party, and had a blast
6. At work, I managed to lead a project from start to finish.
7. I managed to lose quite a bit of weight and get more in shape

All in all, I think I'm a better and more balanced person than I was in the beginning of the year. And I'm pretty happy about that!

Dr Acula · 17th Dec 2009, 04:59 AM

My personal life has had a huge boost this year:

1. I got on anti-depressants and started seeing a counselor and feel much better for it
2. I joined EC
3. I came out to my 2 best friends in February
4. I came out to a couple of others in June
5. I came out to my parents and siblings about 8 weeks ago
6. I went gay clubbing, thrice in the past month
7. I managed to say I'm gay to a mate this year in casual conversation (he asked if there were any hot girls there - I said don't know, but there were plenty of hot guys)

Quite a good year I think - now next years goal is to actually get the guts to ask my crush out...

Filip - if that picture is you then there's no need to lose weight - you're cute enough as it is

.

**Filip** · 17th Dec 2009, 05:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr Acula

Filip - if that picture is you then there's no need to lose weight - you're cute enough as it is

.

Thanks for the compliment! But it's too late now. I lost 10 pounds since that picture was taken...

Your list made me realise I did forget to list one of the biggest achievements of last year: I did, in casual conversation, manage to just say "I'm gay" to a complete strager I got talking to on the train. It might not seem like all that much of an achievement, but I'm still pretty amazed at how casually I was able to do it.

Ander Blue · 17th Dec 2009, 08:55 AM

1. Joined EC

2. first time I've accepted my sexuality
3. first time coming out (Came out to my fraternity brothers, sister, best friends and exes)
4. first time going to counseling
5. first time I've realized that I have eating problems, and ame trying to address them
6. lost my virginity too, but before I came out. (I'd like to think i get another v-card to punch)

I'm happy with this year though, and am excited for the next one

17th Dec 2009, 09:53 AM

Let's say it's the first time I worked on assuming my sexuality (a process that started when I joined EC, then continued with therapy until I finally came out to my parents).

Other than that I don't think there's much worth mentioning.

**Jim1454** · 17th Dec 2009, 12:26 PM

It's been a pretty amazing year...

Came out to my kids
Started to integrate my family with my boyfriends'
Came out to my extended family
Came out to my kids teachers
Came out to my church (that didn't go so well - but it was important and I feel great about it)
Came out to my boss, two peers and 3 employees (so far)
Attended the first LGBT meeting at my workplace
Fired an employee (not a lot of fun, but necessary)
Started to seriously exercise using P90X and lost 35lbs!!!

Great year. I've never felt better!

**Eleanor Rigby** · 17th Dec 2009, 12:35 PM

Not a lot of first for me this year, except for joining EC.
But this have probably be the best thing I did for myself this year.
I can't say how grateful I am for finding this site and for the people I have met here.

confusedgirl · 17th Dec 2009, 12:52 PM

my year of firsts:

1 came out as bi to alot of people I know
2 got my first kiss from a girl
3 said I love you to my girlfriend
4 have a long distance relationship
5 had the greatest summer ever

Thats all of them I cant believe this year is gonna end I have so many great memories from this year and Im sure there will be more to come next

bouncingsouls · 17th Dec 2009, 01:31 PM

This year I buried the friend who taught me to read when no one else cared.
Today I got my predicted gcse grades. They were all A/A*, but the one person who I owe them to, and who I want to share them with most of all isnt here.
But I'm going to get those grades. For him.

Andromeda · 17th Dec 2009, 01:57 PM

1. Found out who I am (I think)
2. Lost 30 lbs
3. .... not much more

15th Dec 2009, 03:24 PM	#1
SailingKoala Sailing is a Part of Me Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: People that don't know don't matter Location: Oxford Age: 33 Posts: 140 Join Date: Mar 2009	A Year of Firsts I have been thinking about this past year and all the things that have happened in my Life and the New things I have experienced/ done/ gonna happen. And I thought it might be a nice thread for everyone to look back at some of the better parts of the year for them. so here goes 1# I worked out who I was, and Started coming outta the Closet 2# I ended up finding a great guy I can call my own. (1st ever Relationship) 3# First ever Pride Event unless anything bad happens 4# First Christmas spent away from Family with significant other 5# First ever New Years Kiss with someone I think they are the things I am gonna take into the New Year..... things like still trying to work out what I wanna do with myself - still feel my old career doesn't work with me being Gay and finding long term happiness - but being gay shouldn't get in the way of my previous work.... I am going to try to put behind me (solve) Anyway what is everybody's favorite Life moments from this year.... __________________ "Life is a futile effort, to escape death for as long as possible. Living life for the moment no one survives...Death" Last edited by SailingKoala; 15th Dec 2009 at 03:25 PM.. Reason: not finishing typing a sentence leaving it in my mind instead

15th Dec 2009, 06:05 PM	#2
AtomicCafe Gay by Day, Dyke by Night Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Asexual Lesbian Out Status: Out, Loud, and Proud Location: Tucson, AZ Age: 19 Posts: 208 Join Date: Oct 2009	Re: A Year of Firsts 1. Also went to my first Pride! 2. Went to my first LGBT meeting. 3. Won my first award ever! (And won a ton of them in one go, at that!!) 4. Graduated for the first time. 5. Got my first round of grades for college! 6. Got closer to one amazing friend of mine who I'll love and cherish forever. Lots of firsts for me. Probably the best year of my life. I can even glance over the negatives just thinking back on those. __________________ That child has several options: staying in the closet, suicide. And then one day, that child might open up the paper and it says, "Homosexual Elected in San Francisco." - Harvey Milk

15th Dec 2009, 09:17 PM	#3
RaeofLite I've got the moves like Jagger Full Member Gender: ♀ Orientation: Sapphicly inclined Out Status: My closet is for clothes! Location: BC, Canada Age: 23 Posts: 3,111 Join Date: Apr 2009	Re: A Year of Firsts 1. I came out to myself (fully) and Came out to everyone in April (and couldn't have done it without EC and the Beaverbunch on yt) 2. I cut my hair pretty short (not super spiky but still short enough) and hadn't had it that short since... maybe age 3? 3. Had my first girlfriend, and a few after that. Ugh, long distance ones suck. I don't want to ever do them again. 4. I went to my first Pride too! And it was also the longest parade I've ever been to.. (3 hours) Oh and the my first Gay Bar (in Vancouver.) 5. Started dressing how I want to dress rather than what family or "society" deems appropriate. I like to mix things up. 6. I decided that I'm going to be an author, not just a writer in life. First I need a career to save up money though. __________________ People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." -Bonnie Jean Wasmund (and the lesbians)

16th Dec 2009, 12:26 AM	#4
tylerzane69 having the time of my life!!! Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Sault Ste Marie, MI Age: 28 Posts: 238 Join Date: Nov 2008	Re: A Year of Firsts to be honest i dont have alot to mention that is great but the things i can mention mean the world to me: 1.) Felt closer to a special someone than i have ever felt (i wanna cry now) 2.) I stood up to people who thought that i was a disappointment and im proving them wrong. 3.) Im learning ways to keep my anxiety under control I am very proud of myself for some of my accomplishments even though some people may think they are minor! __________________ "I dont sleep with boys who sleep with boys" My best lady friend resa!!!! Tyler

16th Dec 2009, 12:40 AM	#5
Adam EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Posts: 539 Join Date: Oct 2008	Re: A Year of Firsts This year I came out, Had my first relationship (did some things for the first time), went to my first gay club, partied with gay people for the first time really, and started acting more like myself and started not caring what others think of me.

16th Dec 2009, 08:05 AM	#6
Owen Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult EC Admin Gender: Agendered dude Orientation: Panromantic androsexual Out Status: Everyone and their mother Location: Massachusetts, USA Age: 21 Posts: 2,871 Join Date: Jul 2007	Re: A Year of Firsts 1. My first relationship. It was nice while it lasted. 2. My first time participating in NaNoWriMo, and I won! 3. My first time finishing a novel. I had tried to write other novels before, but they never go farther than 20-something pages. When I wrote for NaNoWriMo, I actually finished what I started! 4. My first time I read and finished a piece of classic literature in my spare time (it was Dante Aligheri's Inferno, and it was much easier to read than I expected it to be.) 5. My first year of college. It wasn't nearly as difficult or different as I thought it would be; I'm glad I was able to easily transition in to it. 6. I finally got my depression under control, and without meds! 7. I finally started to accept and embrace my fetish and realize its place/roll in my sexuality. __________________ "Stand firm for what you believe in, until and unless logic and experience prove you wrong. Remember, when the emperor looks naked, the emperor is naked. The truth and a lie are not sort of the same thing. And there is no aspect, no facet, no moment of life that can't be improved with pizza." -Daria Morgendorffer

16th Dec 2009, 10:13 AM	#7
kettleoffish new avatar time! Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: all but parents.. for now. Location: Scotland Age: 18 Posts: 1,045 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: A Year of Firsts 1st ever boyfriend(s) lost my virginity to a really special guy 1st time in love <3 1st time going to a music festival It's been a good year __________________ ~~There is no way to peace; peace is the way.~~ --A. J. Muste

16th Dec 2009, 12:29 PM	#8
Black Cat As Seen On Hoarders... Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: This cat is out of the bag - I mean closet Location: Pennsylvania, with the cows Age: 21 Posts: 2,391 Join Date: Jun 2009	Re: A Year of Firsts Well ’09 has been an alright year. Most of it wasn’t too good, but at least I can use it to learn about myself. Here are some of the better highlights: I joined EC, and met lots of wonderful people here. I learned that I am fully capable of standing on my own two feet emotionally. I found courage I always wondered if I really possessed. I learned how to make perfect hot fudge. I started taking steps towards making my future better. I started writing down all my thoughts and ideas, I doubt it will get me anywhere but at least I can look back at it all now. I changed career goals several times. I still haven’t found one that will stick but that’s alright. And I think I am far more in tune with myself than ever before. For once I am happy being myself. Oh, and I lost some weight! I’m eager to start next year and see what’s ahead. __________________ "Your life is an occasion. Rise to it." - Mr. Magorium

17th Dec 2009, 01:06 AM	#10
x2x2x2x2y2 PARAWHORE!!!!!! Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: ~I like guys~ Out Status: Everyone, pretty much. Location: Wonderland (and California, USA) Age: 18 Posts: 3,971 Join Date: Oct 2009	Re: A Year of Firsts Pretty good year in my books!! 1. Came out to mom on October 19th and best friend on November 2nd!!(yes i remember the dates!! lol) 2. Started seeing who i really am and what i gotta do to make that better. It will be hard but worth it!! 3. Im more accepting to the fact im gay and im ok with it!! 4. Joined EC on October 15th(though i might be a few days off. lol) Love it here!! 5. Im learning to stand on my two feet and not depend on people so much. Its scary and hard but i gotta do it!! 6. I think overall im growing up and maturing. I may not show it, but I am. 7. I am so much closer to my friend, now that he knows. 8. Oh yeah and im starting to dress more the way i like and not the way i think people will like. I had a faux hawk for awhile!! lol Overall good year. Very nervous for next year but i look forward to it. __________________ "THINGS ARE LOOKING UP, OH FINALLY!!" "I believe that there's hope buried beneath it all and...Hiding beneath it all and... GROWING beneath it all!!" -Paramore ...and the lesbians

17th Dec 2009, 03:00 AM	#11
Filip Cecile's sidekick EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: All but extended family Location: Belgium, EU Age: 28 Posts: 3,366 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: A Year of Firsts It didn't really strike me as such, but this year was pretty amazing in hindsight! 1. I joined EC. Which was a major drive in improving myself 2. I came out to my mom and my brother 3. I came out to all of my friends 4. I moved out to live on my own, and learned how to survive by myself 5. I went to a gay party, and had a blast 6. At work, I managed to lead a project from start to finish. 7. I managed to lose quite a bit of weight and get more in shape All in all, I think I'm a better and more balanced person than I was in the beginning of the year. And I'm pretty happy about that! __________________ To the world, you're somebody, but to somebody, you're the world...

17th Dec 2009, 04:59 AM	#12
Dr Acula Most call me Ben Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Bristol, UK Age: 23 Posts: 215 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: A Year of Firsts My personal life has had a huge boost this year: 1. I got on anti-depressants and started seeing a counselor and feel much better for it 2. I joined EC 3. I came out to my 2 best friends in February 4. I came out to a couple of others in June 5. I came out to my parents and siblings about 8 weeks ago 6. I went gay clubbing, thrice in the past month 7. I managed to say I'm gay to a mate this year in casual conversation (he asked if there were any hot girls there - I said don't know, but there were plenty of hot guys) Quite a good year I think - now next years goal is to actually get the guts to ask my crush out... Filip - if that picture is you then there's no need to lose weight - you're cute enough as it is .

17th Dec 2009, 08:55 AM	#14
Ander Blue feeling comfy Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Copenhagen, Denmark (normally Troy, New York) Age: 22 Posts: 428 Join Date: Nov 2009	Re: A Year of Firsts 1. Joined EC 2. first time I've accepted my sexuality 3. first time coming out (Came out to my fraternity brothers, sister, best friends and exes) 4. first time going to counseling 5. first time I've realized that I have eating problems, and ame trying to address them 6. lost my virginity too, but before I came out. (I'd like to think i get another v-card to punch) I'm happy with this year though, and am excited for the next one __________________ Re-examine all you have been told.... Dismiss what insults your soul. ~ Walt Whitman

17th Dec 2009, 09:53 AM	#15
Mysterons Guest Posts: n/a	Re: A Year of Firsts Let's say it's the first time I worked on assuming my sexuality (a process that started when I joined EC, then continued with therapy until I finally came out to my parents). Other than that I don't think there's much worth mentioning.

17th Dec 2009, 12:26 PM	#16
Jim1454 EC 'Dad' EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Toronto Age: 41 Posts: 7,449 Join Date: Mar 2007	Re: A Year of Firsts It's been a pretty amazing year... Came out to my kids Started to integrate my family with my boyfriends' Came out to my extended family Came out to my kids teachers Came out to my church (that didn't go so well - but it was important and I feel great about it) Came out to my boss, two peers and 3 employees (so far) Attended the first LGBT meeting at my workplace Fired an employee (not a lot of fun, but necessary) Started to seriously exercise using P90X and lost 35lbs!!! Great year. I've never felt better! __________________ Jim "It is never too late to be what you might have been."

17th Dec 2009, 12:35 PM	#17
Eleanor Rigby Filip's sidekick EC Advisor Gender: Female Orientation: Straight Out Status: Out as straight ally Location: France Age: 32 Posts: 5,400 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: A Year of Firsts Not a lot of first for me this year, except for joining EC. But this have probably be the best thing I did for myself this year. I can't say how grateful I am for finding this site and for the people I have met here. __________________ "Act in such a way that you treat humanity, whether in your own person or in the person of another, always at the same time as an end and never simply as a means." Immanuel Kant

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17th Dec 2009, 12:52 PM	#18
confusedgirl EC Addict Regular Member Gender: Genderqueer Orientation: Panaexual Out Status: kinda lost count lol Location: nothin but dry desert here no beach either Age: 19 Posts: 263 Join Date: Sep 2008	Re: A Year of Firsts my year of firsts: 1 came out as bi to alot of people I know 2 got my first kiss from a girl 3 said I love you to my girlfriend 4 have a long distance relationship 5 had the greatest summer ever Thats all of them I cant believe this year is gonna end I have so many great memories from this year and Im sure there will be more to come next __________________ you wanna know more more more about me I'm the one thats sweepin you off your feet hey hey get tangled up in me

17th Dec 2009, 01:31 PM	#19
bouncingsouls Well Known Regular Member Gender: Ftm Orientation: Gay Out Status: You guys :) Location: Cambridge, UK Posts: 155 Join Date: Jul 2009	Re: A Year of Firsts This year I buried the friend who taught me to read when no one else cared. Today I got my predicted gcse grades. They were all A/A*, but the one person who I owe them to, and who I want to share them with most of all isnt here. But I'm going to get those grades. For him.

17th Dec 2009, 01:57 PM	#20
Andromeda Banned Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Posts: 158 Join Date: Nov 2009	Re: A Year of Firsts 1. Found out who I am (I think) 2. Lost 30 lbs 3. .... not much more