I've fallen in love...

[Connor22]

...with a straight guy. I know I'm not the first and I'm definatly not the last, but I want to write a little about him even though I know it's probably not going to happen. It's just last night I realised how stupidly deeply in love I've managed to get myself in. We were at the cinema with a bunch of friends, we were sitting beside each other and I just wanted to and but we aren't going out, we're surrounded by friends, who I'm not out to yet, on top of that he's straight. Who else has had to go through this annoying twist of fate?

[RainbowJay]

I unfortunately went through this plenty of times with girls. I just end up being good friends with them and try to find someone that can reciprocate my feelings.

I don't believe in that "soul-mate" stuff, I think it's a tad ridiculous, nobody can be perfectly compatible with you after all...

maybe you shouldn't pursue this, I'm not a professional, but I know that you could get hurt!
are you 100% sure he's straight though?

[Connor22]

no, I mean he is nowhere near the any type of stereotype but few of us are and he's shown more interest in me and my friends than any girls at all. Plus he's got two brothers and I heard that older brothers increase your chance of being gay, something to do with antibodies and the womb. Here's to wishful thinking!

[SaturdaySaviour]

This thread just reminded me of my own crush/love/whatever you can call it... and the same situation in the cinema. Sitting next to each other, sharing food we snuck inside, giggling and making unnecessary comments... just makes me want to shut her up and kiss her. It's such an awesome feeling, yet at the same time so painful.

I've been going through the same thing for more than 3 months now, but it feels so new and different every time.

Good luck with that!

[Bryan90]

Straight guy crushes....... In a way... they are the best..... They tend to remain unblemished. And our fantasies will keep it at its best.... That's my view though...

[Camman3]

I fell in love with a straight guy when I was 15 and 10 months old. It was in that moment after spending a whole weekend with him that I realised how in love I was with him. In that moment, I immedaitely accepted I was gay, after years of confusion. Since then, I've always just said I've known I was since I was 16. I came out shortly afterwards and everything's been going well since.

Though, today I acknowlegde that it wasn't "in love" (I think all "adults" will be nodding their heads in agreement now). It was a strange, intimate, lustful connection. And though I pined for over a year, and it was the most lachrymose experience of my life so far, I learned a lot from it and I don't regret it happening at all.

[Swamp56]

Love is a strong word. Are you sure you don't mean "crush"?

[Joe Jetfighter]

I think you're right on the money when you say we've all done this before. I don't know a gay or bi person who hasn't fallen heads over heels for at least one straight person. Hell, I've fallen for a straight guy more than once. I've just let myself feel the emotions of the crush and tough it out--it'll pass, it always does, and an unrequited crush can feel just as nice and exciting as it is painful. I learned that trying to deny my feelings or "get over" them only made them worse, so might as well just go with the flow and enjoy the ride. It's a rollercoaster of a ride, that's for sure.

[cpt doodles]

Is it jackson?? if it is you may as well go for it! =]

im pretty sure its just a teenage crush. i get them alot and get over it realy fast. but how would i know if u actually love him. like what that guy said "love is a strong word"

[donnie5]

I've been through this several times. It was very painful the first couple of times I mostly learned to control my emotions in a way so that I wasn't putting myself through agony waiting for something that has absolutely no chance of happening to happen.

[Sylver]

Oh my God, I made that mistake once, and it turned into the biggest (only) regret of my life.

I fell completely head over heels for a straight friend. We even "fooled around" together. I was so stupid to confuse raging hormones and genuine friendship for a love interest. When you're hungry for love and your hormones are at full strength, it's so easy to misinterpret the intentions of someone who loves to be around you and spend their time with you and even experiment with you. Through your gay rose-colored glasses, this can look like true love or sexual attraction, but it isn't.

Let me tell you what happened in my case, as a warning. I fell deeper and deeper in love with him, and it looked to me like he was reciprocating. He really liked me (as a friend) and he loved spending time with me. But then he got a girlfriend, and I was crushed. Hammered. Heartbroken. I went through weeks of pain watching him get it on with this girl. Worst part, as his "friend" he wanted to tell me all about it, in explicit detail. Holy crack, that hurt like hell.

Long story short I ended our friendship. He was devastated and he couldn't understand what he had done wrong. I've still never told him what happened and I never came out to him. It destroyed the best friendship I ever had, and it left a big scar on me.

Here's the math;

straight guy + gay guy = MISTAKE

So go it at your own risk, but you have to ask yourself objectively how this could EVER work.

Or to put it another way, he's as likely to turn gay for you as you are likely to turn straight for a girl.

[x2x2x2x2y2]

I've crushed hard but never love. It totally sucks to know that there's 0% chance you will ever be with the person. I got over it pretty quickly though, lucky for me.