What is Love? - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

Revan · 2nd Jan 2010, 02:28 AM

So I think this is something we can all chat about. What is Love? I ask myself this question fifty million times a day. Basically I ask this because what is the difference between love or lust? How do you know when you are in love? What does it feel like?

Some of my friends say it's the feeling that you would jump off a cliff for them, others say it's just a warm feeling when you're with them, but how is the latter not just you enjoy spending time with them but not necessarily love? Seriously, HOW do you know what love is?

Because I find in the past relationships I've never really been in love, I mean I've used the word and thought I was, but really...I never was there.

The relationship I'm in now, I sometimes feel like I could never survive if I lost him, whether to being dumped, to death, to accident, whatever. But is that love? Or is it just not wanting to be dumped/lose him because I care for him so much.

So your opinion: WHAT IS LOVE?

RaeofLite · 2nd Jan 2010, 02:34 AM

Love is or can be the following: (from what I've found)
-part of a type of friendship
-connection on more than just a physical level; emotionally, intellectually, spiritually etc
-when you think of someone and they just make you smile
-when you think of someone and you get butterflies
-when you touch them and feel goosebumps and actual electric currents (ok I didn't necessarily mean sexually either, but it could be a hug or handshake etc too)
-when you can't stop grinning around them and you want to hang out with them alllllzetime
-when you would do almost or most anything for them
-when you can see a future with the person
-when the person makes you feel good about yourself and about them

Those are some thoughts.

Revan · 2nd Jan 2010, 02:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RaeofLite

Love is or can be the following: (from what I've found)
-part of a type of friendship check
-connection on more than just a physical level; emotionally, intellectually, spiritually etc more or less check, not 100% sure just yet
-when you think of someone and they just make you smile check
-when you think of someone and you get butterflies check
-when you touch them and feel goosebumps and actual electric currents (ok I didn't necessarily mean sexually either, but it could be a hug or handshake etc too) check
-when you can't stop grinning around them and you want to hang out with them alllllzetime check
-when you would do almost or most anything for them check
-when you can see a future with the person check
-when the person makes you feel good about yourself and about them check

Those are some thoughts.

Well then according to you I'm in love

AllSmiles · 2nd Jan 2010, 03:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RaeofLite

Love is or can be the following: (from what I've found)
-part of a type of friendship
-connection on more than just a physical level; emotionally, intellectually, spiritually etc
-when you think of someone and they just make you smile
-when you think of someone and you get butterflies
-when you touch them and feel goosebumps and actual electric currents (ok I didn't necessarily mean sexually either, but it could be a hug or handshake etc too)
-when you can't stop grinning around them and you want to hang out with them alllllzetime
-when you would do almost or most anything for them
-when you can see a future with the person
-when the person makes you feel good about yourself and about them

Those are some thoughts.

Yeah, deffs all of those.

-When you feel that the best part of the day is when you think of the person (or more)
-When just can't seem to get enough of the person (in all ways)
-When that person makes you feel like you've never felt before (Good ways, even bad as well, as it'll hurt A LOT)

But, yeah, I think, as you said, that love is a very difficult thing to define. I'm seeing a guy at the moment, and I think it is love, but I'm not completely sure, but one thing I know is, that he just makes me feel like I've never tried before, when I talk to him etc. That's why I think it's love.

I'm sorry, I don't think it was very helpful for you, but maybe how I feel can give you clarity about how you feel

EDIT:
A thing, that makes love so confusing, is that so many things in life (friendship, family bonds etc.) is a kind of love, not as strong as 'actual' love, though. I think that can make you feel confused about when something is love or not. That has deffs confused me at times

Just Adam · 2nd Jan 2010, 05:23 AM

baby dont hurt me baby dont hurt me no more

malachite · 2nd Jan 2010, 05:31 AM

Love is mixture of emotions, like anger, and like anger there are different types of it.

I love kitty, but not in the same way I love family; and, the way I love them is different from how I love my friends, and that love is different fomr the love I'll give my BF, should he ever show up.

I think it is hard to an exact label on love, which is often confused for passion and sexual desire.

Love is a potion with many tastes: some bitter...some sweet...some burning hot...and some icy cold.

2nd Jan 2010, 05:33 AM

Lust is the initial passionate sexual desire that promotes mating, and involves the increased release of chemicals such as testosterone and estrogen. These effects rarely last more than a few weeks or months

love funnily enough includes lust but also attachment, caring, and intimacy.

the world of wikipedia is soo much of a help haha. so lust i experienced and love only a little which tends to lead to upset. its a tricky thing.

Just Adam · 2nd Jan 2010, 06:03 AM

love is devious and a pain in the ass...so why the hell do i want the damn thing ahhh!

2nd Jan 2010, 06:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Just Adam

love is devious and a pain in the ass...so why the hell do i want the damn thing ahhh!

cos once you get it you will feel totally different.

olides84 · 2nd Jan 2010, 06:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Just Adam

baby dont hurt me baby dont hurt me no more

got to do, got to do with it
but a second hand emotion
got to do, got to with it
(who needs a heart when a heart can be broken)

Jard · 2nd Jan 2010, 08:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Just Adam

baby dont hurt me baby dont hurt me no more

Darn... I only came in to say this.

tinarenee · 2nd Jan 2010, 09:53 AM

I don’t think love is a intellectually tangible thing. It’s different for everyone how we respond and react, how it makes us feel. But if your happier when your around them or talking to them and just don’t feel right when your not, like a part of you is missing. Then I think that is a good sign. A big thing, I think, is to not over think things.

carrie90 · 2nd Jan 2010, 10:30 AM

I don't think you will get a deffinition because in my opinion love can't be defined everybody has different enterpritations of love some see it as pain others see it as the most precious thing in the world (which I do) it's a mixture of so many things which makes it so powerful

partietraumatic · 2nd Jan 2010, 11:01 AM

in my opinion you can't define love, you just know when you feel it.

Étoile · 2nd Jan 2010, 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AllSmiles

Quote:

Originally Posted by RaeofLite

Love is or can be the following: (from what I've found)
-part of a type of friendship
-connection on more than just a physical level; emotionally, intellectually, spiritually etc
-when you think of someone and they just make you smile
-when you think of someone and you get butterflies
-when you touch them and feel goosebumps and actual electric currents (ok I didn't necessarily mean sexually either, but it could be a hug or handshake etc too)
-when you can't stop grinning around them and you want to hang out with them alllllzetime
-when you would do almost or most anything for them
-when you can see a future with the person
-when the person makes you feel good about yourself and about them

Those are some thoughts.

Yeah, deffs all of those.

-When you feel that the best part of the day is when you think of the person (or more)
-When just can't seem to get enough of the person (in all ways)
-When that person makes you feel like you've never felt before (Good ways, even bad as well, as it'll hurt A LOT)

To add, love is also:

-Supporting them when they're in need
-Genuinely being concerned about their feelings
-Having an engaging conversation with them
-When conversations and affection define the relationship, not the sex
-Spending time with them and making time for them
-Knowing what's wrong without even asking
-Trust
-Being able to be your true self without fear of rejection or dislike
-Anger, jealousy, fear, sadness, maybe misery depending on the situation
-Bliss, euphoria, feeling like you can do anything in the world, the galaxy's the limit

Swamp56 · 2nd Jan 2010, 11:49 AM

Love is a term in Positive Psychology that is applied to one's feeling toward someone else. The initial definition is extremely hard to define due to the fact that it is subjective, or has a different definition to everyone.

It is also a colloquial term to express a specific desire over a certain materialistic item or person.

I don't really have a personal definition since I really haven't ever thought about what love is.

Phoenix · 2nd Jan 2010, 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Just Adam

baby dont hurt me baby dont hurt me no more

I though the same exact thing when I first saw the title. But RaeofLite defined it near perfectly, and those are what I would say love is too.

Revan · 2nd Jan 2010, 03:09 PM

Keep it up people! I'm loving all the thoughts.

TroubledRyan · 2nd Jan 2010, 04:25 PM

Love...
Love isn't a physical object
Love is somthing you can feel...Love is unique,and everyone has there own defination...
Love to me is someone I can hold,squeeze up against me and call my own,and vise versa. Love are all the little things that your lover do to make you happy,thats love to me

SolitaryKnight · 2nd Jan 2010, 04:51 PM

Love is the absence of uncertainty between the bond of two people.

2nd Jan 2010, 02:28 AM	#1
Revan EC Addict Full Member Gender: M for MEEP! Orientation: Mutant and Proud Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Windsor, Ontario Age: 24 Posts: 6,563 Join Date: Jun 2005	What is Love? So I think this is something we can all chat about. What is Love? I ask myself this question fifty million times a day. Basically I ask this because what is the difference between love or lust? How do you know when you are in love? What does it feel like? Some of my friends say it's the feeling that you would jump off a cliff for them, others say it's just a warm feeling when you're with them, but how is the latter not just you enjoy spending time with them but not necessarily love? Seriously, HOW do you know what love is? Because I find in the past relationships I've never really been in love, I mean I've used the word and thought I was, but really...I never was there. The relationship I'm in now, I sometimes feel like I could never survive if I lost him, whether to being dumped, to death, to accident, whatever. But is that love? Or is it just not wanting to be dumped/lose him because I care for him so much. So your opinion: WHAT IS LOVE? __________________ "Is there some reason my coffee isn't here? Has she died or something?" - Miranda Priestly. Strength is not defined by physical capacity, but by indomitable will. ~ Mahatma Gandhi Procrastination is like masturbation, in the end you just wind up screwing yourself.

2nd Jan 2010, 02:34 AM	#2
RaeofLite I've got the moves like Jagger Full Member Gender: ♀ Orientation: Sapphicly inclined Out Status: My closet is for clothes! Location: BC, Canada Age: 23 Posts: 3,111 Join Date: Apr 2009	Re: What is Love? Love is or can be the following: (from what I've found) -part of a type of friendship -connection on more than just a physical level; emotionally, intellectually, spiritually etc -when you think of someone and they just make you smile -when you think of someone and you get butterflies -when you touch them and feel goosebumps and actual electric currents (ok I didn't necessarily mean sexually either, but it could be a hug or handshake etc too) -when you can't stop grinning around them and you want to hang out with them alllllzetime -when you would do almost or most anything for them -when you can see a future with the person -when the person makes you feel good about yourself and about them Those are some thoughts. __________________ People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." -Bonnie Jean Wasmund (and the lesbians)

2nd Jan 2010, 05:23 AM	#5
Just Adam Just passing through Full Member Gender: Something Orientation: Dunno Out Status: If they ask i will tell them Location: Wherever Age: 23 Posts: 6,002 Join Date: Mar 2009	Re: What is Love? baby dont hurt me baby dont hurt me no more __________________ There Used To Be A Point Of Things.

2nd Jan 2010, 05:31 AM	#6
malachite EC's realist Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Orlando Posts: 6,480 Join Date: Apr 2009	Re: What is Love? Love is mixture of emotions, like anger, and like anger there are different types of it. I love kitty, but not in the same way I love family; and, the way I love them is different from how I love my friends, and that love is different fomr the love I'll give my BF, should he ever show up. I think it is hard to an exact label on love, which is often confused for passion and sexual desire. Love is a potion with many tastes: some bitter...some sweet...some burning hot...and some icy cold. __________________ It's the 21st century, your bigotry is outdated. Either upgrade or go away.

2nd Jan 2010, 05:33 AM	#7
gaz83 Guest Posts: n/a	Re: What is Love? Lust is the initial passionate sexual desire that promotes mating, and involves the increased release of chemicals such as testosterone and estrogen. These effects rarely last more than a few weeks or months love funnily enough includes lust but also attachment, caring, and intimacy. the world of wikipedia is soo much of a help haha. so lust i experienced and love only a little which tends to lead to upset. its a tricky thing.

2nd Jan 2010, 06:03 AM	#8
Just Adam Just passing through Full Member Gender: Something Orientation: Dunno Out Status: If they ask i will tell them Location: Wherever Age: 23 Posts: 6,002 Join Date: Mar 2009	Re: What is Love? love is devious and a pain in the ass...so why the hell do i want the damn thing ahhh! __________________ There Used To Be A Point Of Things.

2nd Jan 2010, 09:53 AM	#12
tinarenee Member Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: out to 4 friends and most importantly my husband Location: Georgia Age: 43 Posts: 55 Join Date: Oct 2009	Re: What is Love? I don’t think love is a intellectually tangible thing. It’s different for everyone how we respond and react, how it makes us feel. But if your happier when your around them or talking to them and just don’t feel right when your not, like a part of you is missing. Then I think that is a good sign. A big thing, I think, is to not over think things. __________________ YES NO NO YES NO I TRIED THAT YES BOTH WAYS NO I DON'T KNOW NO AGAIN ARE THERE ANY MORE QUESTIONS? GOOD.

2nd Jan 2010, 10:30 AM	#13
carrie90 The square root of 4 is rainbows Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Gay Out Status: everybody really Location: Originally Montana but currently San Fransisco Age: 21 Posts: 1,327 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: What is Love? I don't think you will get a deffinition because in my opinion love can't be defined everybody has different enterpritations of love some see it as pain others see it as the most precious thing in the world (which I do) it's a mixture of so many things which makes it so powerful __________________ I empower my Cheerios to live in fear by creating an enviorment of irrational, random terror -Sue Sylvester

2nd Jan 2010, 11:01 AM	#14
partietraumatic A gay heteropolitan? Full Member Gender: Male Out Status: Enough for now Location: Oxford and Birmingham, UK Age: 20 Posts: 1,300 Join Date: Jul 2008	Re: What is Love? in my opinion you can't define love, you just know when you feel it. __________________ 'Im not your toy and this isn't another girl meets boy'

2nd Jan 2010, 11:49 AM	#16
Swamp56 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Boston, MA Age: 21 Posts: 2,166 Join Date: Aug 2008	Re: What is Love? Love is a term in Positive Psychology that is applied to one's feeling toward someone else. The initial definition is extremely hard to define due to the fact that it is subjective, or has a different definition to everyone. It is also a colloquial term to express a specific desire over a certain materialistic item or person. I don't really have a personal definition since I really haven't ever thought about what love is. __________________ Last edited by Swamp56; 2nd Jan 2010 at 11:51 AM..

2nd Jan 2010, 03:09 PM	#18
Revan EC Addict Full Member Gender: M for MEEP! Orientation: Mutant and Proud Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Windsor, Ontario Age: 24 Posts: 6,563 Join Date: Jun 2005	Re: What is Love? Keep it up people! I'm loving all the thoughts. __________________ "Is there some reason my coffee isn't here? Has she died or something?" - Miranda Priestly. Strength is not defined by physical capacity, but by indomitable will. ~ Mahatma Gandhi Procrastination is like masturbation, in the end you just wind up screwing yourself.

2nd Jan 2010, 04:25 PM	#19
TroubledRyan Don't fix what isn't broken! Full Member Gender: 8===D Orientation: 8==D+8==D=Me!!! Out Status: Everyone knows, hard not to. Location: New Mexico Age: 18 Posts: 1,985 Join Date: Nov 2009	Re: What is Love? Love... Love isn't a physical object Love is somthing you can feel...Love is unique,and everyone has there own defination... Love to me is someone I can hold,squeeze up against me and call my own,and vise versa. Love are all the little things that your lover do to make you happy,thats love to me __________________ Just close your eyes, the sun is going down. You'll be all right, no one can hurt you now. The morning light, you and I will be safe and sound.

2nd Jan 2010, 04:51 PM	#20
SolitaryKnight EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: the family knows and some other people Location: Atlantic Canada Age: 27 Posts: 360 Join Date: Oct 2009	Re: What is Love? Love is the absence of uncertainty between the bond of two people. __________________ To conquer oneself is the best and noblest victory; to be vanquished by one's own nature is the worst and most ignoble defeat. ~ Plato

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