Realize this...

[RaeofLite]

So, you're gay, bi or lesbian.

I'm wondering what your thoughts are... do you think gays or lesbians (or bisexuals) have an easier realization that they are gay? I don't mean, accepting it yourself, I mean, realizing it.

I personally think males would because their genetalia would react more obviously, whereas females it's tougher and many females are touchy-feely/friendly with one another generally.

What are your thoughts?

[shimmersky]

I agree with your hypothesis.

[Markio]

I think their environment may play into how easily they realize they are gay/lesbian/bi. I didn't realize I was gay so much as I realized something was "different", then I spent a few years exhausting every other possibility such as mental illness/personality disorder/prepubescence. I didn't even learn that what my body and I were doing was called "masturbation" until the end of high school.

[Ander Blue]

I would say it's easier for male's too. I see how it could be a bit confusing because for a lot of straight men, lesbian acting women are a turn on - so it might be confusing to determine whether or not your trying to turn guys on, or yourself. As for guys, I wouldn't say it's as acceptable in the straight going crowd, leaving you with a lot more doubt and reasons to recognize your differences.

[Revan]

I didn't really want to fully accept it until I was 17. From 15 till 17 I kept telling myself I was bisexual. And before that, just figured I'm unique.

[GhostDog]

I honestly have no idea how different it is for dudes, seeing as I've never been one. =P

But, yeah, I had a hard time figuring out whether or not the things I was going through were things all girls went through. I tended to assume that the heart-racing feeling I got around girls I thought were hot and/or awesome was just jealousy and that all girls felt it. And when I thought about it, I just assumed I wanted to be them, not be with them. (Considering my self-esteem issues, it seemed perfectly plausible.) I thought, hey, most women compare themselves to other women, that's probably all this is.

And, yeah, I was kind of jealous of them, too. As many self-image issues as I have now, I had way more back then. So when jealousy combined with an attraction I didn't understand, I tended to freak out and avoid them and try to get that feeling out of my head. I had no idea what the hell was going on for the longest time.

Hell, even when I'd sometimes imagine myself making out with another girl, I'd assume I was just lonely and really it didn't mean anything. Or I'd flip out and think I couldn't possibly be hot enough to make another girl want to do that with me, so instead of just going with it and seeing if it felt good to think about, I'd get depressed. That made things harder to suss out, too. =/

It's weird looking back on what I think now must have been girl-crushes I had growing up. I'd follow a girl around like a puppy, thinking how great she was and how awesome it felt just to be around her, delighting whenever I managed to make her laugh. Getting jealous if she had a boyfriend, and incredibly jealous if she had a girlfriend. And, hah, yeah. I assumed all girls did that. >.>

[TroubledRyan]

hmmm,I gess you are right.
But it isn't just because there "genitali" though...
Cus even if you are gay,you don't really get a bonner my flirting,we just are able to tell when a guy is hitting on us,because most guys do not joke around in that way

[littledinosaurs]

I don't think it's easier for men or women to determine their sexuality (whether it's gay or bi).

You could argue that men might have a more obvious reaction by getting a boner but i know plenty of gay men who get boners while dancing with woman so it doesn't really mean anything and doesn't make it that much easier. Also you could argue that gay men in the media haven't been as tolerated and they wouldn't accept themselves as easily. But it really doesn't matter who has an easier time or not; everyone has a greatly different journey to realizing & accepting themselves.

[UserName]

Hrm, I think it all just depends on the individual. Some people are more introspective then others and have a easier time understanding that they are attracted to the same sex. And as someone said the environment has a lot to do with that too. If you had these feelings and you knew another guy or guys that were also going through the same thing it might evolve quicker. Tough question though if you're going for a more general answer; but if I were to choose one to generalize I would probably go with bisexuals.

It seems like guys realize that they are 'different' at an early age because at least for me, I didn't have the same reaction that other guys had when they looked at porn or thought about the hot girls in the class.

[adam88]

Originally Posted by GhostDog

I honestly have no idea how different it is for dudes, seeing as I've never been one. =P

But, yeah, I had a hard time figuring out whether or not the things I was going through were things all girls went through. I tended to assume that the heart-racing feeling I got around girls I thought were hot and/or awesome was just jealousy and that all girls felt it. And when I thought about it, I just assumed I wanted to be them, not be with them. (Considering my self-esteem issues, it seemed perfectly plausible.) I thought, hey, most women compare themselves to other women, that's probably all this is.

And, yeah, I was kind of jealous of them, too. As many self-image issues as I have now, I had way more back then. So when jealousy combined with an attraction I didn't understand, I tended to freak out and avoid them and try to get that feeling out of my head. I had no idea what the hell was going on for the longest time.

Hell, even when I'd sometimes imagine myself making out with another girl, I'd assume I was just lonely and really it didn't mean anything. Or I'd flip out and think I couldn't possibly be hot enough to make another girl want to do that with me, so instead of just going with it and seeing if it felt good to think about, I'd get depressed. That made things harder to suss out, too. =/

It's weird looking back on what I think now must have been girl-crushes I had growing up. I'd follow a girl around like a puppy, thinking how great she was and how awesome it felt just to be around her, delighting whenever I managed to make her laugh. Getting jealous if she had a boyfriend, and incredibly jealous if she had a girlfriend. And, hah, yeah. I assumed all girls did that. >.>

Wow. I was exactly the same way, just flip genders in your examples.