Second adolescence for gay people?

I'm going through something similar right now. I'm in my first real relationship with another guy. I've never had a crush more than just physical attraction. Most people that I know went through that as a teenager. I felt left out. It's a nice feeling and - just like a young teen, I feel so confused and just want to find the right answers.

 

Yeah I kinda feel like that kind of is happening to me. It's only over the past year and a half that I've started actually having crushes on guys and I had my first sexual encounter at 19, which is later than most straight people I think. I've yet to be in a relationship, which again is kind of unusual at 20. So yeah this whole second adolescence thing makes sense to me. I think it will hold more true for me though when I'm completely out and ready to pursue guys

 

I too was like that after I came out. It's normal you never got to develop through your sexual feelings in high school like everyone else.

 

maybe not a 'second' adolescence... a 'delayed' adolescence. i havent reached my 'adolescence' yet if you want to define it by getting into first relationships etc.

 

In a way, I feel like this right now, actually. When I was in my teens, I didn't allow myself to look too much at boys, let alone act on my feelings for them. I was enormously afraid of ruining my chances of turning straight again if I ever allowed myself to be gay (yeah, :rolleyes
At the same time, I didn't want to start anything with girls before I was completely turned straight.

As a result, I didn't do anything at all, and apart from school or occasionally hanging out with friends, I didn't really try any of the flirting or first relationships that my friends were getting into. I didn't even have feelings in the way I have them now. It was all way more muted back then, because I didn't really allow myself to feel most anything.

It does suck that I have to be doing this right now, while my friends are already married, talking about building a house or getting kids, while I'm not even at the point of dating.

In the end, I don't feel too bad about it, though. In many ways, I know myself better than I did when I was 15, so I can do the whole crushing and experimenting with flirting in a way more controlled manner than I would have if I tried it when I was younger.

 

I absolutely, completely am going through this right now. I feel like a 12-13 year old again. When I was that age all my friends were going through their first relationships and getting their first crushes, but I couldn't understand why it wasn't happening to me. I felt like there was something wrong with me.

Once I discovered I was gay, though, it all suddenly felt right. I started getting crushes on tons of girls, wanting to be with them, experimenting with everything. This HAS to be what it feels like to be going through adolescence for the first time. I'm just a few years late.

Also, this.

 

I completely feel this way. Having come out 18 months ago, its like im learning the ways and meanings of whta all these strange feelings are that most people experience at 14 but im getting them now at 27!! While most of my friends have gone through this and been used to it for years its a whole new ball game to me!

 

Yeah, I feel the same way..My friend has been in multiple relationships and I havent been in one. The nice part about it though is that unlike young teens, its not all impulsive. I can actually recognise whats happening instead of going after someone like a wild animal..lol :lol: Its still exciting though..now I can talk about it instead of keeping it to myself ^_^

 

This happens quite a lot, especially if you were in denial about your seuxality. On the same token people who do their parents' dreams instead of figuring out their own dreams(or anyone who denies a part of themselves or just doesn't explore their identity during normal adolescence) often have a second adolescence, which sometimes is a mid-life crisis. (woah, using things I learned in University, what is this!?)

 

I certainly feel that I'm going through an adolescent period right now. Huge crushes, little to none emotional backbone, I'm noticing cute guys everywhere I go, and I'm all high-school-girly about even the thought of gay relationships. :eusa_doh: I have yet to date, but I'm not sure if I'm even ready for it. Either way, I'm throwing myself into the gay community once I get back to school, and I guess I'll just go from there.

 

Haha, I was just thinking about this the other day. And while I had girl crushes and crushes on teachers in highschool I didn't think it was abnormal or gay. I thought other girls "must feel the same way" and that I'd find a guy I was attracted to when I was older. And... now I'm going through puberty seeing pretty women everywhere...

I still get gittery when asking a lady out, feel the dating gitters, butterflies etc.

 

Oh good lord, yes. I used to scoff at my friends, who'd have posters of hot guys all over their room, talk about all the hot guys at school or in movies, and who'd listen to bands and talk about how hot they were. It just seemed so pointless to me, for some mysterious reason.

Now I do the exact same things. With the ladies. I've got posters of P!nk and Amanda Palmer all over my room, I love that I have friends with whom I can talk about how hot X actress is in some movie, and, while I don't necessarily listen to bands just because they have hot girls in them, I do end up a lot more enthusiastic about them if they do. >.>

Oh god, I have so many crushes on classmates. All very straight classmates, alas, but dang. It's like I can't walk around on campus without at least one girl turning my head. I have turned into a giant horndog, basically.

And, uh, I still won't go into a particular store on campus because I once bumped into a girl I had a huge, knees-turn-to-jello crush on (and had no idea how to handle because I didn't know wtf was going on, so I think I ended up creeping her out). Even though it's been three years. If that doesn't say adolescence, I don't know what does. =P

 

I can see and agree with having crushes on people like that does seem very teenager-like but in some situations it is because some people become mature much faster such as myself at an extremely early age and have to understand such things that when were older we let those feelings out to experience what we might have missed

 

+1 from me for going through this 2nd/delayed adolescent period
especially the 'noticing guys everywhere' bit

 

Agreed. Now that I don't care who notices me looking at guys and crushing on them, I let myself.

 

Oh yes! I definitely went through it, even coming out when over 40. Most gay men I know have gone through it. It was a lot of fun and helped me as I was figuring out who I was.

 

I did also! When I was in high school and college I never fell in love or crushing on anyone. Wonder why? :dry::lol: Once I came out to myself and felt comfortable dating and being myself I have fallen in and out then in again in love. I do feel young again.

 

Oh, for sure. As soon as I had told one other person about my possibly being sexually attracted to other women, it was like I was hit by a truck full of pheromones. I saw hot ladies EVERYWHERE. That was a few years ago. I tiptoed back into the closet. :rolleyes:

Now that I feel really out, that truck full of pheromones became a cargo plane that nosedived right onto my head. I catch myself acting like my dad, flirting with the checkout girl at the bakery. My friend took me to a strip club and I spilled beer all over myself while the dancers laughed at me (there were boobs everywhere!) I feel like a spring buck ready to rut with the nearest tree if no females come my way.

:bang:

Ridiculous.