How do I say this...

[Sylver]

So I'm relatively new to the whole "gay thing" and I need a little help with the accepted terminology. Can I use the word "gays" if I want to collectively refer to gays and lesbians? Or should I say "LGBT persons" or "gays and lesbians" or something like that? I'm not clear if "gay" refers only to males, or if it also can mean males and females if I mean a group or community? Thanks!

[Shevanel]

Queer seems to be a good blanket term that doesn't usually offend anybody.

[Austin]

Gay refers to males and females but mostly males. I'd either say "gays and lesbians" or "homosexuals."

[Zach1992]

I think gay is the most general term.

I hate 'homosexual' it sounds way too much like a medical term.

[Synth177]

Originally Posted by SurferDude420

Queer seems to be a good blanket term that doesn't usually offend anybody.

Except me. I've never really like the word.

[Shevanel]

Originally Posted by Synth177

Except me. I've never really like the word.

Like I said, Usually xD

I don't like Gays, because I'm not gay.

I don't actually use Queers myself, I just say LGBT people, or not straight, or unstraight xD

[Mirko]

I think LGBT is the most widely accepted term these days. Younger generations are increasingly using "queer" but some will have a negative reaction towards it, if they are being described as being queer. Usually when I refer to the community as a whole I will use LGBT rather than queer or gay.

[Owen]

Personally, I use "gays and lesbians". I don't like the word "queer" when used in reference to the GLBT community because queer means something that is odd or strange, i.e. it has a negative connotation. If I want to include the entire GLBT community, I usually say "GLBT people."

[Synth177]

Originally Posted by SurferDude420

Like I said, Usually xD

I don't like Gays, because I'm not gay.

I don't actually use Queers myself, I just say LGBT people, or not straight, or unstraight xD

I think "LGBT people" works best.

[Sylver]

Heh, I also have a problem with "queer". It's one of those words I still can't say. I don't know, it just sounds wrong to me if I say "I'm queer" (I don't think I could say it out loud). For one thing it's been a derogative term for a long time. Some LGBT peeps (gays? queers? ) have reclaimed the word, but I can't shake the bad things it's meant for so long. It also means "odd", which I'm not. So yeah...

[Shevanel]

^ I def know exactly what you mean, but Gay also has a lot of connotations as well And it also is rather exclusive to a certain group of the LGBT Spectrum

[joeyconnick]

I could go on for some length about queer (as it's quite controversial overall) but while I use it as a convenient umbrella term (which is not even remotely all that it is/implies), I rarely, if ever, say, "I'm queer."

Unless in the plural with lesbians, I never refer to gay guys as "gays" unless I'm trying to be ironic. To me (and I think this is pretty common) "lesbian" is fine as a noun but "gay" should be used as an adjective--so I would say, "I'm gay" or "some gay men think that..." but never "Gays think that..." and definitely never "The gays think that..." (unless I'm trying to be sarcastic/funny).

I would totally, myself, say "Lesbians seem more/less..." but not "The lesbians are..."

I do sometimes say "gay people" meaning LGB people in general, mainly because I'm lazy and I dislike the alphebetization of our various minorities (because the full acronym is at least LGBTQQTSI--lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer, questioning, two-spirited, intersexed). Often if I'm trying to express my frustration with alphebetization, I'll say, "You know, the LGBTQQTSXYZ/alpha/beta/gamma/etc people" (that's ZED, not zee, by the way).

LGBT or LGBTQ is probably relatively safe. "Gays and lesbians" or "gays, lesbians, and bisexuals" or "gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and trans people" depending on which groups/the extent to wish you want to include everyone. Personally I would say "gay men and lesbians" (with or without "bisexuals/trans people," depending on the context).

The most common usage of "gays" as a collective noun that I can think of is in PFLAG--Parents, Friends, and Families of Lesbians and Gays. For obvious reasons (PFLAG is awesome ), I don't take offence to that.

All that being said, I know for sure some lesbians (e.g. Ellen DeGeneres) really don't like (or at least didn't like) the term "lesbian" and prefer(ed) "gay woman." That (to me) is kinda an older formulation but I can understand why it might bug some people.

Queer means/meant odd and, granted, not all queer people are odd, but then not all gay people are happy and not all (or even most ) lesbians come from the Isle of Lesbos. Language is an ever-contested thing, especially in the (ha ha) queer context.

"Homosexual" always sounded too clinical/medical for me, "homophile" is unfortunately a bit too similar to "pedophile," and I just giggle at the notion of Uranians.

[Johnnieguy]

Usually I say "gay" as the collective term, even for the bi's and lesbians. Also, I may be old fashioned, but I always say GLBT, instead of LGBT... LGBT just doesn't sound right to me. But, ya know, that's really no different than saying potato differently.

The term I'm not sure of whether I like it or not is not to refer to gays, but rather the female friends of gay men like myself... "fag hag" It sounds derogatory to me.

[UserName]

Personally, I use the word "gay" for almost everything. I think "gay" is just a generalized term when referring to someone who is not straight, rather it be a lesbian, bisexual, or homosexual. I don't have a problem with someone saying "that's gay" either though, because I say that a lot myself.

I don't ever really refer to GLBT in context to anything except for when I am including all branches of homosexuality which is usually only in discussion of politics, etc. I would just find it very awkward to say "Oh he/she is GLBT" - it sounds weird; not to mention I'm sure when using that term the people I am associated with probably do not know what that even means.

I don't like using the word "queer" because it's not as commonly used in today's society and I don't know I think of it it as more of a negative word. I NEVER use the word faggot when referring to someone's sexuality, I think that is probably the most derogatory word you can use when talking to/about someone who is GLBT. Faggot is probably the only word that pisses me off. On the contrary, I do find my self at random times using the word faggot when I'm pissed or talking about someone I don't like.

It's different for everyone so I think it just depends on who you are with and just having a conscious mind to how each person interprets the word you use. Some people are more sensitive than others so you kinda just gotta wing it with your own rationality, there's no way to please everybody but as long as your conscious about it I think you will be fine.

[Chip]

I was having a discussion about this with friends, and many of my group (ranging in age from early 20s to 50s) don't like the word "queer" simply because of definitions like (from dictionary.com)

1. strange or odd from a conventional viewpoint; unusually different.
2. of a questionable nature or character; suspicious; shady: Something queer about
the language of the prospectus kept investors away.
3. not feeling physically right or well; giddy, faint, or qualmish: to feel queer.
4. mentally unbalanced or deranged.

I agree that LGBT works and is serviceable, but I also think "the gay community" is an inclusive term that is essentially interpreted to be synonymous with "queer community", but doesn't have the (to my group, at least) offensive connotations.

For my male friends, I often say "poofter" or "friend of Dorothy", just because I find those terms amusing.

[Andromeda]

i call them "fags and dykes and he-shes and she-he and michees". to refer to the LGBT community

[JB1986]

I personally use "the gays," "GLBT persons," or "The gay community." To describe myself, I use either "gay," or "homo" (when I'm in a cheeky joking mood.) I don't mind the word "queer" too much. It doesn't bother me really. The only one that truly gets under my skin is the f-word (you know which one.) Man, that word just makes me feel ill whenever I hear it. You'll never hear me say it.

[Andromeda]

the f word is hot

i love that word, i just don't use it in public except in my head because its inappropriate and comes across vulgar.

[Holmes]

Originally Posted by SurferDude420

Queer seems to be a good blanket term that doesn't usually offend anybody.

You must have spoken to enough gay people if you think queer is generally acceptable (and I don't mean to sound patronising). It's generally associated with a sort of left-wing activist type of gay politics. I really dislike the word, and I know that David Norris, for years Ireland's most prominent gay man (the first openly gay Senator), dislikes it. Andrew Sullivan doesn't like it either, and I could probably come up with many more. And it has become far less common in discourse in recent years.

It was originally an insult. Still is, as used by some. It's primary meaning is odd or strange. I have no interest in using a word with such recent connotations just to make a point.

Personally, I'd most likely refer to "gays and lesbians". I'd say he's gay, or she's a lesbian, or maybe also she's gay. If writing a political post on my blog on the issue, I'd write "the right of gay couples to marry". I tend not to use the term LGBT, not out of any policy, but the context doesn't quite come when it would make sense. Transgendered issues are different to the fight for marriage, and the latter matters much more to me personally.

[Starburst]

Originally Posted by SurferDude420

Like I said, Usually xD

I don't like Gays, because I'm not gay.

I don't actually use Queers myself, I just say LGBT people, or not straight, or unstraight xD

That's strange. Although I would prefer not to be labelled, gay (plus a good tone ) is always more acceptable. Queer is just outright offensive to me. Probably because I wasn't frequently exposed to its use.