My Banana - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

Sylver · 6th Feb 2010, 11:23 AM

So I just got the following spam e-mail in my inbox;

Quote:

Are you sure that your banana is long enough to make real pleasure to any girl you want? We think it is!

This raises a couple of points.

1. I just went into the kitchen and checked, and yes, the one remaining banana is more than long enough.

2. You think my banana is long enough? How the heck would you know?

3. I don't do girls.

/conversation about my banana.

Connor22 · 6th Feb 2010, 11:26 AM

don't bring it to the EU... There's restrictions on the length of banana's now

Just Adam · 6th Feb 2010, 01:13 PM

hmm bananas

Emberstone · 6th Feb 2010, 02:57 PM

I could care less if mine is capable of pleasuring woman...

Zach1992 · 6th Feb 2010, 03:13 PM

I'm more interested in being pleasured by a guy's banana.

6th Feb 2010, 03:17 PM

Doesn't take a big banana to satisfy me. Yet again I'm not a girl.

dromadus · 6th Feb 2010, 03:25 PM

Hey, I'll show you my banana if you'll show me your, uh, well, duh, your grapefruit?

I'm such a chicken. No, I'm too old to be chicken. Uh, this got confusing right quick.

NickT · 6th Feb 2010, 05:06 PM

My recent blood tests show I'm low in potassium levels. That means I could use your banana

RaeofLite · 6th Feb 2010, 06:06 PM

Banana's make me bored and sleepy.

..I'm sorry, I was talking about the fruit.

xCrazyInsanity · 6th Feb 2010, 06:30 PM

I want a banana

Not to eat though...

hehe sorry. This is gold for perverted jokes

SlickyPants · 6th Feb 2010, 09:20 PM

xCrazyInsanity · 7th Feb 2010, 04:45 AM

hotlink fail

Just Adam · 7th Feb 2010, 05:45 AM

i just hate when they go soft

----------

nothing worse than a mushy banana

Sylver · 7th Feb 2010, 08:01 AM

Just to prove how much of an uber-nerd I am, the first thing I thought when I saw the e-mail was how bad these guys were at marketing. First you set up the problem (banana not long enough, unhappy companion), and then you tell me that you think mine's fine. So why should I buy your product then??

Gaetan · 7th Feb 2010, 10:19 AM

Because you're not supposed to take their word for it. You're secretly insecure about your banana, so you deflect their compliment.

Quote:

Originally Posted by NickT

My recent blood tests show I'm low in potassium levels. That means I could use your banana

That is the greatest pickup line ever!

-----

I think my banana is more than adequate to please the ladies. I mean, really, look at this guy. ANYONE would find him awesome:

Emberstone · 7th Feb 2010, 10:31 AM

they should have been all "does your girl laugh at your plantain? well upgrade to a banana, and slip her a pleasent surprise up her coconut.

7th Feb 2010, 02:12 PM

I don't know why they are talking about fruit when referencing being with a girl. I thought gay guys were the fruity ones

partietraumatic · 7th Feb 2010, 03:50 PM

im going on a diet tomorrow, so should probably start having more bannanas as part of that...

dromadus · 7th Feb 2010, 04:04 PM

Bananas... don't they use those when making Twinkies? Cream filled Twinkies are one of my favorite treats. Gee, I'd like to eat one now.

6th Feb 2010, 11:26 AM	#2
Connor22 Stopped being (as) vague Full Member Gender: yes Orientation: up the bender Out Status: burned Narnia :D Location: Norn Iron Age: 17 Posts: 1,547 Join Date: Nov 2009	Re: My Banana don't bring it to the EU... There's restrictions on the length of banana's now __________________ Kindness is a gift. Share it.

6th Feb 2010, 01:13 PM	#3
Just Adam Just passing through Full Member Gender: Something Orientation: Dunno Out Status: If they ask i will tell them Location: Wherever Age: 23 Posts: 6,002 Join Date: Mar 2009	Re: My Banana hmm bananas __________________ There Used To Be A Point Of Things.

6th Feb 2010, 02:57 PM	#4
Emberstone Flappychap Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Oregon, USA Age: 28 Posts: 5,591 Join Date: May 2008	Re: My Banana I could care less if mine is capable of pleasuring woman...

6th Feb 2010, 03:13 PM	#5
Zach1992 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Guys Out Status: Out to friends, some family, & those who ask! Location: New York (State, not city) Age: 21 Posts: 1,171 Join Date: Jan 2010	Re: My Banana I'm more interested in being pleasured by a guy's banana. __________________ "Sex shouldn't be COMFY!!!"- Lola (Kinky Boots)

6th Feb 2010, 03:17 PM	#6
Fr0zenPupp3t Guest Posts: n/a	Re: My Banana Doesn't take a big banana to satisfy me. Yet again I'm not a girl.

6th Feb 2010, 03:25 PM	#7
dromadus Banned Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: 2 Everyone except my dogs Location: Glorious San Diego Age: 63 Posts: 167 Join Date: Feb 2010	Re: My Banana Hey, I'll show you my banana if you'll show me your, uh, well, duh, your grapefruit? I'm such a chicken. No, I'm too old to be chicken. Uh, this got confusing right quick.

6th Feb 2010, 05:06 PM	#8
NickT Mr. Grammar Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Kentucky Posts: 985 Join Date: Sep 2009	Re: My Banana My recent blood tests show I'm low in potassium levels. That means I could use your banana __________________ Gay Pride!

6th Feb 2010, 06:06 PM	#9
RaeofLite I've got the moves like Jagger Full Member Gender: ♀ Orientation: Sapphicly inclined Out Status: My closet is for clothes! Location: BC, Canada Age: 23 Posts: 3,111 Join Date: Apr 2009	Re: My Banana Banana's make me bored and sleepy. ..I'm sorry, I was talking about the fruit. __________________ People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." -Bonnie Jean Wasmund (and the lesbians)

6th Feb 2010, 06:30 PM	#10
xCrazyInsanity Gay, no. Fabulous, totally. Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Pansexual Out Status: All BUT family Location: South-East Pennsylvania Age: 17 Posts: 750 Join Date: Dec 2009	Re: My Banana I want a banana Not to eat though... hehe sorry. This is gold for perverted jokes __________________ This is love, this is not treason.

6th Feb 2010, 09:20 PM	#11
SlickyPants EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Winnipeg, MB, Canada Age: 26 Posts: 542 Join Date: Oct 2007	Re: My Banana

7th Feb 2010, 04:45 AM	#12
xCrazyInsanity Gay, no. Fabulous, totally. Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Pansexual Out Status: All BUT family Location: South-East Pennsylvania Age: 17 Posts: 750 Join Date: Dec 2009	Re: My Banana hotlink fail __________________ This is love, this is not treason.

7th Feb 2010, 05:45 AM	#13
Just Adam Just passing through Full Member Gender: Something Orientation: Dunno Out Status: If they ask i will tell them Location: Wherever Age: 23 Posts: 6,002 Join Date: Mar 2009	Re: My Banana i just hate when they go soft ---------- nothing worse than a mushy banana __________________ There Used To Be A Point Of Things.

7th Feb 2010, 08:01 AM	#14
Sylver Happily Married To Zume Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: quite gay, thank you Out Status: pretty darn out.. Location: Kenora, Ontario Posts: 1,057 Join Date: Jan 2010	Re: My Banana Just to prove how much of an uber-nerd I am, the first thing I thought when I saw the e-mail was how bad these guys were at marketing. First you set up the problem (banana not long enough, unhappy companion), and then you tell me that you think mine's fine. So why should I buy your product then?? __________________ "A gay man's life begins the day he comes out" James ~ Gay by Nature

7th Feb 2010, 10:31 AM	#16
Emberstone Flappychap Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Oregon, USA Age: 28 Posts: 5,591 Join Date: May 2008	Re: My Banana they should have been all "does your girl laugh at your plantain? well upgrade to a banana, and slip her a pleasent surprise up her coconut.

7th Feb 2010, 02:12 PM	#17
prismaticlight Guest Posts: n/a	Re: My Banana I don't know why they are talking about fruit when referencing being with a girl. I thought gay guys were the fruity ones

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7th Feb 2010, 03:50 PM	#18
partietraumatic A gay heteropolitan? Full Member Gender: Male Out Status: Enough for now Location: Oxford and Birmingham, UK Age: 20 Posts: 1,300 Join Date: Jul 2008	Re: My Banana im going on a diet tomorrow, so should probably start having more bannanas as part of that... __________________ 'Im not your toy and this isn't another girl meets boy'

7th Feb 2010, 04:04 PM	#19
dromadus Banned Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: 2 Everyone except my dogs Location: Glorious San Diego Age: 63 Posts: 167 Join Date: Feb 2010	Re: My Banana Bananas... don't they use those when making Twinkies? Cream filled Twinkies are one of my favorite treats. Gee, I'd like to eat one now.