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Is it just me?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by pikachu1, Feb 8, 2010.

  1. pikachu1

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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I have noticed that it seems that girls(friends, sisters. cousins) are more accepting of people coming out than males and parents. In the media it seems like shows always drive this point home and also from personal experience all the girls in my life(friends,sisters,cousins) have been more friendly with me and more open about who I am. Whereas it seems that men(and parent's) seem to be either more off-put or just a bit weirded out. Of course in my personal experience everyone has been accepting of me but it seems all my male friends and their parents are it bit more hesitant than my friends who are female. I always assumed it's because males are worried about their own sexuality or something while their parents are from an older generation. Is it just me or has anyone else noticed this?
     
  2. crazydude

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    Its not just you, I've definitely noticed this as well.

    I think it is because our society allows women to be more emotional and understanding than men. Men aren't suppose to show their emotions especially about the idea of two men being together. I think they are suppose to act all tough and be manly. And if they were to show acceptance towards gays then they would be thought of less manly. I dunno that is just my opinion. Not sure if that really makes sense but hopefully it does, lol.

    I have also noticed that people generally seem to be more accepting towards gay women than gay men. Not sure if this is true either but just something I've noticed.
     
  3. RaeofLite

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    I think it's because girls are generally conditioned to love more than men, and as a result they seem to accept it better. However, I have had people I know shy away from me a bit until they realize that I'm not attracted to them "like that" :lol:, but that's an unfortunate stereotype I suppose when you tell someone something about yourself such as your orientation. Plus in the case of a male telling a female friend that he's gay, many would think "Oh yay! We can go shopping," (which isn't always the case) or "we have something more in common now". :slight_smile:

    My mom explained it that parents want the best for their kids. And they were conditioned to believe that men went with women, and that I would wear a wedding dress and walk up the alter to a nice young man and have beautiful children yadda yadda yadda. Picture "perfect" in their eyes. I think ultimately, most parents don't want their kids to face a hard life, and homosexuality or bisexuality may be one of those hardships that they face every day in meeting people, getting jobs, fighting discrimination etc.

    And I think my mom's right, it isn't easy, but it's worth it because I'm happier than I've ever been and I'm not constantly hating myself for living a lie as to how "others" say I have to live. And it takes time for parents to realize that their child's happiness is what really matters and if that means being with a person of the same sex then that's just how things go.
     
    #3 RaeofLite, Feb 8, 2010
    Last edited: Feb 8, 2010
  4. BrownBoi89

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    Sorry this is going to be a long post. So I'm only go to talk about why I think men may be less accepting than women and not about parents, because RaeofLite summed it up pretty nicely.

    In order for men to be "masculine", society teaches them that they must be both heterosexual and to not be open with their emotions. Thus when a gay/bi man comes out to his straight male friends, this conflicts with both the idea of keeping your feelings to yourself and being attracted to only women. This makes some straight men feel uncomfortable because if they are associated with some who is homosexual or bisexual, they may be viewed as gay/bi as well so it threatens their sense of "masculinity". In addition by confiding something so personal to them, some straight men are also uncomfortable because boys are taught from a young age to not talk about their feelings with other boys.

    Women on the other hand are encouraged to express their emotions and feelings at a young age, that is why they may be more understanding when a person comes out to them. Because they've been taught to be emotionally responsive to others and to offer comfort and nurturing. The reason that it seems there's a double standard for when women come out is because for a long time "masculine" has been seen as the ideal, whereas being "feminine" is often viewed as inferior to being "masculine". And so when gay/bi men reveal they like men, it is viewed as a "feminine" characteristic, whereas when women do the same it is more accepted because they are viewed as more "masculine". This is why no one thinks twice when little girls play with trucks and do sports, because those are seen as "masculine" activities, and "masculinity" is encouraged in our society. But when boys play with dolls it is often frowned upon, because they are engaging in "feminine" behaviour.

    To end on a positive note I think more and more younger people these days are accepting of LGBT people, both men and women. One of my friends who I've come out to is a guy and he doesn't think of me any differently. I think over time more people will become more accepting of LGBT people and this stereotype will slowly start to fade. I put "masculine" and "feminine" etc, in quotes because I think they are both such BS concepts that I don't see why certain activities, personality characteristics, etc. should be gender typed. Sorry for the long post.
     
  5. Rikudo

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    Actually to be honest I was surprised by some of my girl friends and there almost obsessive wanting to see guy on guy action. The seem to find the idea of guys loving one another "cute" and "adorable" which means they'll probably have a hay day when I come out. Man I miss them.