Marriage - yes or no?

[Jay D]

I have been with my boyfriend Michael for about 4 months now, and I'm beginning to think about getting married in the future. I know it's a big step and it's a huge commitment, but I really think he's The One. I've been engaged twice before, and both engagements fell through.

I wonder what the EC community thinks?

[Swamp56]

I'd give it more time if I were you. You're very young for marriage.

[HackmanWIU]

My sister is 20 in march and has been with her bf for about 3 1/2 years. The discussion doesn't even exist for them when people ask.

[Jay D]

I guess ... I just feel like it's something I want to do. Thanks for the replies, though!

[Beachboi92]

ok im going to give you my two sense as i have a lot of experience with people who really want to be in a serious relationship in the way you do.
My brother is straight and has been engaged twice. This most recent one he was engaged to after dating for 6 months. He is miserable and the engagement has almost ended 3 times, they have now been together for 1 year and 1/2.
I have a friend (female) who has been engaged once after dating the girl for over a year. this same girl jumps from relationships constantly (including "dating" a gay guy and a straight guy despite "not being at all sexually attracted to them but they where perfect for each other and she would make it work). If anyone watched the "I hate being gay" episode of Tyra they know that it doesn't work.

You are -------18--------- (emphasis on how old you are) and have been engaged TWICE and are talking about doing it AGAIN after dating for ---4 months---. What have you already learned about this situation in your past 2 experiences where i am guessing you said it was different also? You need to take things slower, if you really love this guy wait AT LEAST another year or more before you take that kind of step towards a life long commitment. That commitment is not something you should take lightly and you should MAKE SURE that you are ready to do with all your heart and no doubts (which we can tell you have, after all you are posting about it here.)

Take it slow and if after a year or two you still feel he is the one you want to be with then do it. You should make sure you are not settling just because you want to get married, wait and make sure it is the right person. If it is real then you shouldn't even NEED to get married and they will be willing to be with you regardless for however long.

I also want to get married and i understand the want to be married with a family but i think you are rushing into it and need to consider this a lot more carefully. Personally no engagement i have seen that was rushed like that has ever worked out and neither did my parents rushed marriage. That is my two sense speaking based off what i have seen and i mean no insult. It is just that in my experience you really have to emphasis the issues and try and drill them in.

[Zumbro]

From what I'm seeing, and forgive me if I'm wrong, but you don't really want to marry this guy so much as you just want to get married. You are 18 and been engaged and broken up twice already (more than some people through their entire lives). You've only been with this guy for 4 months (only 1/60th of your entire young life). I also wonder how many boyfriends you've had, or if you've been engaged to all of them.

If it's meant to be, wait a year or two, and your feelings won't change. I have friends who have been together for 6 years and haven't been engaged yet simply because they can't afford a ring right now, but they know they'll get married eventually, and that's what matters. You might go to university, or he might, and things could change as they often do once you move away from home for more than 3 months at a time.

Give it time. Save your money. Don't rush.

[Revan]

Just be careful my dear. Even if you were older I'd still say no. You've only been together 4 months which is WAY too soon to get married. Wait till maybe 2 years or more. You can't know someone is the one just from 4 months no matter how much you think you do.

[Mind Freak]

Not to be a smarty pants but you probably thought the last two were "the one's" right? Maybe you should wait A LOT longer than 4 months to decide. Like a year.

And are you two living together? That will change your perspective too. Marriage is supposed to be forever. Sure you can make it last forever but I'm sure you want it to be happily ever after and not just ever after you get me?

[BrownBoi89]

I agree with what a lot of people have posted already. I think 4 months is a little too soon to be thinking about marriage. For me I would have to date the guy for at least a year and live with him also for at least a year, before even thinking about marriage. So that's what I would recommend you do. Wait at least two years and see if you still feel the same way.

Also I find that after eighteen people's lives tend to go in different directions. You're officially an adult, you may leave to go to school, you may work, but you're life becomes very different and as a result of everything you experience, you yourself begin to change as well. So that's why I would be hesitant to get married at your age, because a lot of personal growth takes place in the many years after eighteen so you and you boyfriend may end up growing in different directions, but you may not, only time can tell. Take me for example at eighteen I thought I was bi, I thought I preferred girls, and I thought I would never come out, but over the 2 years I've come to realize I'm gay and I've come out to six people, and I plan on coming out to more and more as time goes on. I'm not saying this will happen to you, but I'm just trying to illustrate the fact that a lot of personal growth takes place after high school. Sorry if I sound preachy, but I'm just offering my advice, feel free to accept or reject it.

[Miss Bubbles]

Yea wait at least two years before you even think of it. I mean you two probably barley know eachother in four months so give it time.

[Eleanor Rigby]

I can relate I started to think about marrying my husband when we had been together for about 3 months.
We engaged on new years eve one year after we started our relationship. But, we finally marry each other 5 years after our engagement. We waited that we both have finished our studies and have a job.
I don't regret the time we waited. It gave us some time to be really sure about our love for each other, and it allowed us to get passed the first times where everything is perfect and get through some difficult stuff together. When we married, we both knew that our couple was solid enought to pass hard times. It's important.
If you're sure that he is the one, waiting a few years won't change it. It will just allow you to know each other better.

[Johnnieguy]

I would wait until you are AT LEAST in your mid-twenties. Your youth is supposed to be fun, enjoy it!