I was exhibiting at a trade show most of this week and we were handing out plush toy flowers as gimmicks to start conversations with people. They are really cute and colorful and fuzzy! A number of the people attending were young couples who brought their children along with them. I'm a total sucker for cute kids, so I was handing them out to the kids too. So I'm trying to give a flower to a little boy and girl (both were about 4-5 years old). The girl takes one, but the mother won't let me give one to the boy. She says to me "Oh he's a little man now, he doesn't want that" even though the kid clearly wanted one. It didn't take much to read between the lines as to what she was suggesting. What is she afraid of? Can a plush toy flower turn a 5-year old kid gay? Or am I making something out of nothing here? Why would it be wrong for a little boy to have a plush toy flower??
Oh, sure they can - just like parents forcing their kid to play with Tonka trucks will make him straight. Poor kid.
It's sad that things are still like this, but too many parents want what society feels is "best" for their kids. In a way, the mother does care about her son greatly, but I think her fears of having a son that may be an outcast simply because he's playing with toy flowers are way too dominating.
For the most part, parents aren't afraid about their children being gay when they're young. It's more of a "They want them to stick to their gender stereotypes, so that they will fit in more as a teenager/adult."
In my opinion, a lot of it has to do with fear. Gender roles are rigidly enforced: man = tough, strength and a woman = girly, kind, always puts others first etc. That and the fact that maybe the woman is worried her son is gay (ie: he's shown feminine sides) or that he will "turn gay" by accepting and doing feminine things. It's sad really but true in some people's minds.
This is all true and if they were really as young as you say they were then the mother should know that at that age, they shouldn't care about these types of things. When children are 4 or 5 they see others as humans not separated into boy, girl, teen, adult, or whatever. He was probably just attracted by the colors or wanted one because his sister got one (I think it's his sister not clear from the post).
Yep! Some people just have clear defined ideas about what is the norm for a girl or boy. Sad but a lot of parents still try to enforce certain gender roles onto their kids in the belief that it well help them growing up. Related to that, there are certain toys that parents will get their kids or will allow their kids to have that reinforce these gender roles.....i.e. girls play with dolls, while guys play with trucks, and their chemistry sets. It is total nonsense. A toy flower is not going to influence his sexuality.
Fact-Proven Things That'll Turn Your Son Gay -Dolls. Under no circumstance should your future quaterback show ANY interest in them. -Showing emotion. ABSOLUTELY no crying or sensitivity, no matter the situation. -Hugging and holding hands with another boy. Unacceptable, no questions asked. ONLY acceptable to celebrate sport victories. -The color pink, purple, yellow, and varying shades. Strictly "girl" colors. Yellow is excusable in certain instances, but he can't say it's his favorite color -Neatness. Because boys are supposed to be rowdy and dirty. -The words 'cute' and 'pretty'. "Girl" words. Never let your son say these two things unless he's describing a girl. Shorts above the knees. Guys don't "show off their legs". It makes better sense to hide them in baggy material that can double as a tent during emergency situations. -Giggling. Chuckling= yes. Giggling= limp wrist -Dance classes. Does 'boy' and 'graceful' in the same sentence even sound right? -Healthy meals. A man shouldn't care about his health, so neither should your son -Pencils, pens, socks, pillowcases, cartoon characters, toy flowers, frozen dinners, Panera Bread Co., bubblegum, corduroy, ceiling lamps, the Quadratic formula, indie music, steel, flowers, rat droppings, smiling, dust, keyboards, seagulls, Starbucks, deodorant, travel brochures, oxygen, etc. Everything has the potential to turn your little tiger into a prissy pussycat, so ALWAYS be on the lookout, always!
At 5 years old? Do you believe that a 5 year old boy can exhibit gay characteristics? I always thought that signs of sexuality did't appear until the onset of puberty.
Exactly. I find it incredibly sad. Forcing your child to be interested in certain things or not allowing your child to enjoy something because it doesn't fit into the stereotype of his or her biological gender is both stupid and cruel. Ugh...that makes me angry.
isn't sexuality solidified at age 7? aren't there no possible ways to understand what makes the determining factors? Isn't it supposed to be Biological?
Well I know that I was epically pissed when my father didn't want to get me my pink Polly Pocket princess castle for Christmas. And I was equally pissed when I was told that boys don't ask for 'Wuv Luvs' either. I remember him asking me why I couldn't be a normal boy. But I think I got the castle in the end. And I'm sure I got the Wuv Luv too. Epic win. Then again, I loved my dinosaurs and box of toy cars. And my train set was the most awesome thing in existence. And I couldn't get enough of Lego. I just liked to play with everything because both girl toys and boy toys were so much fun. Though I could never get the pants off my Action Man.