Seeing men being affectionate with each other - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

Étoile · 28th Feb 2010, 06:18 PM

For some reason, men showing each other affection strikes me as odd and makes me uncomfortable. I'm okay with seeing men have sex, but kissing, hugging, and cuddling looks unusual to me. I have no problem with giving affection to another guy. Am I the only strange one like this?

**Lexington** · 28th Feb 2010, 08:14 PM

Most things that "look unusual" are things we haven't seen that often. I saw a black woman on a motorcycle recently. And it looked odd. It finally hit me why - I hardly ever see women (or blacks) on motorcycles. I don't have any problem with them, of course. I just don't see it much, so it looked unusual.

Male-male intimacy really isn't seen that much. Once you see it some more, it'll presumably not seem so strange.

Lex

Zach1992 · 28th Feb 2010, 09:07 PM

I don't feel uncomfortable, but I do get really jealous...

crystaltriforce · 28th Feb 2010, 09:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SexualTeen

I don't feel uncomfortable, but I do get really jealous...

same here

Phoenix · 28th Feb 2010, 09:44 PM

Some forms of PDA from any sort of couple makes me uncomfortable. Like holding hands is fine but when you're slobbering all over each other it just looks tacky. Cuddling I don't have a problem with really unless it's being done in an obnoxious way. And everyone hugs everyone around here so I don't really care about that. It's mainly when couples have their tongues on every inch of the other's face that I get grossed out.

Johnnieguy · 28th Feb 2010, 09:59 PM

I also get jealous..

But when I first came out and was first exposed to male-male intimacy, yeah it bothered me and I don't know why. Not anymore though.

x2x2x2x2y2 · 1st Mar 2010, 01:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phoenix

Some forms of PDA from any sort of couple makes me uncomfortable. Like holding hands is fine but when you're slobbering all over each other it just looks tacky. Cuddling I don't have a problem with really unless it's being done in an obnoxious way. And everyone hugs everyone around here so I don't really care about that. It's mainly when couples have their tongues on every inch of the other's face that I get grossed out.

^Exactly this.

Holding hands, kissing(not making out) and hugging are ok, but if it goes farther it's uncomfortable. No matter what genders.

Tim · 1st Mar 2010, 01:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by x2x2x2x2y2

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phoenix

Some forms of PDA from any sort of couple makes me uncomfortable. Like holding hands is fine but when you're slobbering all over each other it just looks tacky. Cuddling I don't have a problem with really unless it's being done in an obnoxious way. And everyone hugs everyone around here so I don't really care about that. It's mainly when couples have their tongues on every inch of the other's face that I get grossed out.

^Exactly this.

Holding hands, kissing(not making out) and hugging are ok, but if it goes farther it's uncomfortable. No matter what genders.

I'd agree, just not on the kissing part.

I just find any type of intimacy in public uncomfortable to see, other than like, Hugging, XD (And Holding Hands, but that's not really intimate.)

Holmes · 1st Mar 2010, 03:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Étoile

For some reason, men showing each other affection strikes me as odd and makes me uncomfortable. I'm okay with seeing men have sex, but kissing, hugging, and cuddling looks unusual to me. I have no problem with giving affection to another guy. Am I the only strange one like this?

It seems strange you mention being ok seeing men have sex. Presumably you mean watching porn, or other non-public things. Is it because it's in public that you find it strange, I mean, does kissing in whatever environment you see men having sex seem strange to you?

I think Lex might have a point, the more I see certain things that were once unusual in Ireland (even in the last 15 years, things have changed a bit here, subtly but quickly), the less I notice them.

Public affection doesn't bother me, but it's distracting. A few weeks ago, I was studying in the library in college, and there was a boy and girl sitting in front of me who kept French-kissing every few minutes, and I just thought they should get a room. I mean, there's a time and a place.

**Ben** · 1st Mar 2010, 03:25 AM

I think it's cute. I hug guy friends just as much as girl friends.
Though I only give women greeting kisses. I guess that's the culture though. When I went to Egypt some guy came up to me and gave me a huge wet kiss on both cheeks. But that's how they roll so it's cool.

Public affection only annoys me when it looks like they're zombies trying to eat each other.

Sylver · 1st Mar 2010, 05:19 AM

PDAs of any kind make me uncomfortable, gay or straight. I think it's a combination of my prudish upbringing and a whole lot of repressed emotions. I'm working on it though.

JB1986 · 1st Mar 2010, 10:57 AM

I just get jealous, too. It also makes me really want a boyfriend.

Markio · 1st Mar 2010, 11:44 AM

I think it's funny when any two people are standing really close to each other's faces, even when trying to be intimate. Wouldn't your eyes cross? I would rather clasp hands with them at arm's length, or else stand right beside them, so we're not facing each other like that. And if we are, then we should probably stop stalling and just make out.

1st Mar 2010, 01:41 PM

It used to make me uncomfortable. I figured out the reason it made me uncomfortable is that I was concerned that somehow people would be able to tell that I liked it or wanted it, and would therefore realize I'm gay.

Zume · 1st Mar 2010, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kevin42

It used to make me uncomfortable. I figured out the reason it made me uncomfortable is that I was concerned that somehow people would be able to tell that I liked it or wanted it, and would therefore realize I'm gay.

^ same..it really doesn't bother me anymore though..I don't try to hide the fact that I'm gay anymore..but then again I don't see it very often here..in the redneck corner of the country. Example: Cars on cinder blocks in every yard..must I go on?

malachite · 1st Mar 2010, 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SexualTeen

I don't feel uncomfortable, but I do get really jealous...

me too.

fragomatrick · 1st Mar 2010, 05:13 PM

I have no problems with it. I thnk it's sweet . . .

Echidna1 · 1st Mar 2010, 05:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SexualTeen

I don't feel uncomfortable, but I do get really jealous...

yup...

RaeofLite · 1st Mar 2010, 07:51 PM

It's not odd when I see it. Then again I feel the same way they do, only I'm female and attracted to the same sex.

So... maybe there are feelings of lingering internal homophobia or "manly expectations" floating in your mind?

pianomike · 2nd Mar 2010, 08:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sexualteen

i Don't Feel Uncomfortable, But I Do Get Really Jealous...

Me Too!!

28th Feb 2010, 06:18 PM	#1
Étoile He ate my heart Full Member Gender: Garçon Orientation: 95% Gay, 5% Cheesecake Out Status: Out to everyone Location: The Peach State Age: 20 Posts: 1,575 Join Date: Nov 2007	Seeing men being affectionate with each other For some reason, men showing each other affection strikes me as odd and makes me uncomfortable. I'm okay with seeing men have sex, but kissing, hugging, and cuddling looks unusual to me. I have no problem with giving affection to another guy. Am I the only strange one like this? __________________ "I love that lavender blonde; the way she moves, the way she walks, I touch myself, can't get enough."

28th Feb 2010, 08:14 PM	#2
Lexington The gay gargoyle EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Colorado Age: 42 Posts: 12,371 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Seeing men being affectionate with each other Most things that "look unusual" are things we haven't seen that often. I saw a black woman on a motorcycle recently. And it looked odd. It finally hit me why - I hardly ever see women (or blacks) on motorcycles. I don't have any problem with them, of course. I just don't see it much, so it looked unusual. Male-male intimacy really isn't seen that much. Once you see it some more, it'll presumably not seem so strange. Lex Last edited by Lexington; 28th Feb 2010 at 08:18 PM..

28th Feb 2010, 09:07 PM	#3
Zach1992 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Guys Out Status: Out to friends, some family, & those who ask! Location: New York (State, not city) Age: 21 Posts: 1,171 Join Date: Jan 2010	Re: Seeing men being affectionate with each other I don't feel uncomfortable, but I do get really jealous... __________________ "Sex shouldn't be COMFY!!!"- Lola (Kinky Boots)

28th Feb 2010, 09:44 PM	#5
Phoenix EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Somewhere between gay and bisexual Out Status: Very Location: Massachusetts, USA Posts: 755 Join Date: Sep 2009	Re: Seeing men being affectionate with each other Some forms of PDA from any sort of couple makes me uncomfortable. Like holding hands is fine but when you're slobbering all over each other it just looks tacky. Cuddling I don't have a problem with really unless it's being done in an obnoxious way. And everyone hugs everyone around here so I don't really care about that. It's mainly when couples have their tongues on every inch of the other's face that I get grossed out.

28th Feb 2010, 09:59 PM	#6
Johnnieguy EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Twin Cities, MN Age: 25 Posts: 510 Join Date: Jan 2010	Re: Seeing men being affectionate with each other I also get jealous.. But when I first came out and was first exposed to male-male intimacy, yeah it bothered me and I don't know why. Not anymore though. __________________ Minnesota Vikings: 2010 de facto Super Bowl Champions!

1st Mar 2010, 03:25 AM	#10
Ben Was Invisible. EC Moderator Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Age: 20 Posts: 3,704 Join Date: Jul 2008	Re: Seeing men being affectionate with each other I think it's cute. I hug guy friends just as much as girl friends. Though I only give women greeting kisses. I guess that's the culture though. When I went to Egypt some guy came up to me and gave me a huge wet kiss on both cheeks. But that's how they roll so it's cool. Public affection only annoys me when it looks like they're zombies trying to eat each other.

1st Mar 2010, 05:19 AM	#11
Sylver Happily Married To Zume Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: quite gay, thank you Out Status: pretty darn out.. Location: Kenora, Ontario Posts: 1,057 Join Date: Jan 2010	Re: Seeing men being affectionate with each other PDAs of any kind make me uncomfortable, gay or straight. I think it's a combination of my prudish upbringing and a whole lot of repressed emotions. I'm working on it though. __________________ "A gay man's life begins the day he comes out" James ~ Gay by Nature

1st Mar 2010, 11:44 AM	#13
Markio EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Family, friends, and staff! Location: California Age: 21 Posts: 1,139 Join Date: Oct 2008	Re: Seeing men being affectionate with each other I think it's funny when any two people are standing really close to each other's faces, even when trying to be intimate. Wouldn't your eyes cross? I would rather clasp hands with them at arm's length, or else stand right beside them, so we're not facing each other like that. And if we are, then we should probably stop stalling and just make out. __________________ Celebrate diversity!

1st Mar 2010, 01:41 PM	#14
Kevin42 Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Seeing men being affectionate with each other It used to make me uncomfortable. I figured out the reason it made me uncomfortable is that I was concerned that somehow people would be able to tell that I liked it or wanted it, and would therefore realize I'm gay.

1st Mar 2010, 05:13 PM	#17
fragomatrick Perpetually Bored! Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Some people Age: 21 Posts: 732 Join Date: Jan 2010	Re: Seeing men being affectionate with each other I have no problems with it. I thnk it's sweet . . . __________________ The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch

1st Mar 2010, 07:51 PM	#19
RaeofLite I've got the moves like Jagger Full Member Gender: ♀ Orientation: Sapphicly inclined Out Status: My closet is for clothes! Location: BC, Canada Age: 23 Posts: 3,111 Join Date: Apr 2009	Re: Seeing men being affectionate with each other It's not odd when I see it. Then again I feel the same way they do, only I'm female and attracted to the same sex. So... maybe there are feelings of lingering internal homophobia or "manly expectations" floating in your mind? __________________ People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." -Bonnie Jean Wasmund (and the lesbians)

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